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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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10/01/2013 at 11:58

Thanks for bra recommendations CC and Sonya - will have to get to shops and try one on for size as its been so long since I bought any kind of bra I've really no idea what size I am!

Come on Brookie - spill the beans

CM - no harm in knowing what you want and sticking to your guns. But  does sound like you and N geuinely love each other and want to be in the relationship so hope you can work through all your respective 'baggages' and make it work.

10/01/2013 at 13:04
The cake looks fab MM, well done and I luv how your just popping out for an 18 miler!!! Supermum,. Good luck Mr MM & happy birthday
MR- I also a fan of those bras but mine is too big now and also have pancakes after loosing nearly a stone since last year. Think I need to get a 32a now, sob!!
Hoggle- well done you have to start from somewhere.
No exercise done today as yet, have spent all morning sorting through the girls clothes & wardrobes, clothes everywhere!!! Could spend another day going through more clothes, arghhhhhhhh.
Library bus soon and then school pick up so think it will either be the treadmill tonight or a night time cycle.
10/01/2013 at 16:26

hurrah to all the running and RF - fab job on the wardrobe sorting. i sorted E's half of the playroom last night and binned a bag of broken toys and also sorted out a huge black bag full to go to the car boot. i need to tackle J's side next and the art cupboard too. it's E's bday next month so there will be yet more toys flooding in. argh. actually - she is getting a nasty cheap (99p) pink barbie vanity table (from eBay) so it is more furniture. she doesn't really play with toys - she does shows all day every day at the moment. lots of dressing up, prancing round and singing.

i have just had a whole day of carrying out a Lean assessment. . Lean is the new thing here. It's to do with saving money through identifying waste, duplication and activities which add no value. I have no idea what I am doing really but I have had a whole day of asking people questions and not understanding what the hell they are talking about. my head is banging and i am still 100 miles from home. i need to find around £10k of savings from this client account by the middle of next week. errrrr....

and MR - yes, you are right. there is (or has been) a lot of love in the relationship with N. i don't want to be with anyone else. but i don't want to live in a relationship which is tainted by his guilt. he has had 2 lots of counselling and both times has declared that he has no guilt left. but his actions - or lack of them - don't seem to be in line with this

camlo - can't spend the CB as the financial settlement with T stipulates that the money has to be saved for the kids. he was very clear that it wasn't 'my' CB, but for the kids and had to be put into a savings account for them. he wanted to claim CB for one of the kids and me for the other one. in the end, i managed to keep the CB coming to me (and straight into an account for them), and just as well because he is a higher earner so he wouldn't be eligible for it now anyway...

i have asked if i can set up an ISA with the funds that are in the account which the CB has been going into and he won't let me, because the ISA would be in my name. he is THAT controlling still

Edited: 10/01/2013 at 16:28
10/01/2013 at 17:57
Popping in to say Hi!

Hoggle, such sad news for your friends, hope a transplant can happen when it is needed.

CM, hope N sorts himself out. Think most men need a kick up the bum to get things moving.

Having a trial trying to find a house to rent here, missed out on one last week which wasn't amazing but was a lot nicer than many others we had seen. Saw a nice one today, bit too far away, one to see near here tomorrow, fingers crossed!
10/01/2013 at 18:56

CM - that IS hard but I'm thinking he does still need to sort it out, otherwise will always be a big white elephant when things get tough.  T will never change ... at all ... will he?  Well done on the sorting out though.

MM - haven't been on facebook today so not seen fabulous cake, hope your run went well. Good to get that out before a weekend of chaos!!

Wow RF, you've done well with the weight loss, I always think you look glowingly healthy when I see pics of you on fbook.

Boo to looking for house rental Kinsey - assume your current rental is up? I am dreading when we have to sort ourselves out properly. Was having a major panic earlier when trying to work out the finances involved with trying to sell our house down South to release money if/when we buy something else. With my sister in it and paying us rent, can well see our finances going very t*ts up trying to get that all sorted!!!!

Says the girl who is trying to sort a ski holiday for us all!!! Hubby has had a load of share things come up with his work so we decided to do a 'stuff it' and go for it on the back of that - clearly with the child benefit we've accrued over the last eight years we should have been able to afford a number of these type of holidays (according to Boris Johnson!!), not that we get it any more anyway! So have booked flights for me and kids to Gatwick on a Fri eve in Feb and return flights Bham to Inverness on the following Sunday and now just need a cheap deal to come up for the week inbetween those dates!!!

Have sick boy home today so no running and think I'm fighting his cold too so am not going to do treadmill tonight and hope he's better and back to school and I can do my long run tomorrow. Nasty cough he's developed which seems to be doing the round. Got loads of clearing up and sorting out done though which needed.

Edited: 10/01/2013 at 19:04
10/01/2013 at 19:32
CC - yes our landlord is selling and has a buyer so we need to find somewhere asap, unless a miracle occurs it will mean having to drive for the school run which I am gutted about but I think we will look to buy closer to school in the next yr.
Holiday sounds good!
10/01/2013 at 20:10

I have no choice re the school run, I admit mine are not at the closest school, they are up in town which is five miles away and none of the buses fit in with the school times (how crazy is that), but even if we went to the closest one, it's 2.5 miles away so  though that IS bikeable it would still take us a good 25 mins I reckon and the faff factor to get out the house and bike would be incredible!!

Hope you find something soon though, all stressful stuff.

10/01/2013 at 20:28

One of my friends posted this on facebook, just had to share it as I think it is rather amusing ...


10/01/2013 at 21:08
4 miles done on the treadmill and a wee bit of core work. Really couldn't be bothered but the thought of the strathpuffer in two weeks made me do it! Hubby's bike that I use mainly as its better spec than mine is in for a service so need to go collect it tomorrow. I am getting very nervous at the thought of a 24 hr mountain bike event, I must be mad! So hoping its not icy, fingers crossed for a dry night about 5 degrees!!! There will actually be only 7 hrs of daylight cycling & 17 hrs of night time riding, yikes.
Kinsey- fingers crossed a decent house comes up.
CC- boo to poorly boy, hope he gets better soon.
10/01/2013 at 21:24

You are mad of course RF, but it is the best way to be. And you will be absolutely fine too - you have some good training and it does sound like fabulous fun. No idea what we are doing in a couple of weeks time - perhaps I had better come and yell you on for a bit of encouragement.

10/01/2013 at 21:49
Oh that would be great
Nothing like a good old challenge though eh!
Reading Andy holgates book - cant swin,can't run, can't ride. Good read
In bed
10/01/2013 at 22:11
CM you can get junior isas now, it was the thing they introduced when they scrapped child trust funds, so Eric has one, and we pay ??20 in every month same as we do M's CTF, and we can't access it, nor can they till they're adults.

If child benefit was meant to be saved for the children to use when grown up, rather than on nappies, food, clothes, essentials, then there never would have been all the hoo ha about saving for kids, CTFs and jr isas etc, but we all know T lives on another planet somewhere.

Good luck mr MM, not sure the weather is going to be kind.

Wow to the skiing CC!

So I finally thnk after weeks of ridiculous negotiation the job has gne tits up. They were offering over ??3500 less than I would have earned working the same no of hrs for my old job, and funnily enough I think I'm worth more than that! It was going to always be less money than my old job as it was fewer hrs, but not that much less! I am not prepared at this stage in my career, with over 12 yrs experience behind me to take such a reduction in salary just because I am female and want to work part time. As the old saying goes, if you pay peanuts you get monkeys and I am not a monkey. I made them one final offer this evening, to match my previous rate per hr, and they a haven't replied. I am just annoyed that I have wasted so much time and energy on it, going for trial days etc, when I told the guy on day one what I earned. But anyway, at this stage in the game when it's the first practice that has showing interest and I haven't really started properly looking yet, I am holding out for better! And I even managed to avoid opening the bottle of wine in the fridge tonight!
10/01/2013 at 23:18

oh that sucks Caro if it comes to naught after all this; I guess if nothing else, you are now totally up to speed on how holidays etc are calculated for P/T etc and know exactly what you won't be settling for?

Skiing like this will be a one-off I imagine given the costs but felt it was a good time to go before it starts to get more of an issue taking kids out of school for it (we don't get a proper Feb half-term, just a long weekend). I haven't actually asked school yet which is a bit cheeky given I've booked some flights. Will be three days ... so am hoping they will look kindly upon me. They are waaaaaay more flexible about this than when I was in England and got a bollocking for taking J out of school to look at a school for him up here!!

10/01/2013 at 23:19

Our weekend forecast looks pretty good, wee bit chilly overnight at -2 but dry, are you lot in for some really drastic stuff then?

11/01/2013 at 07:09
Argh, hubby got up to change M's bed at 4 am and his backs really bad again! So he's not gone to work as tube or cycling are out.
11/01/2013 at 08:41

oh no, caro. out of interest, does he do core stuff? my back has been better (altho is never fully right) since i have been strengthening my core. it doesn't completely 'go' on me now like it used to before

beautiful day here today - am going to plough on with some work this morning and go for a walk during daylight. tried a 3 mile walk yesterday and coughed / wheezed badly all evening but i am just going to have to put up with it as i cannot do no exercise any longer. i am putting weight on and i hate that

good luck mr MM

i am sorry about the job, caro. you are right tho - you are worth more than that. i have found a job to apply for - in cardiff.  Assistant Director of IT Services at the Uni. sounds fab but it will be full time and i doubt there will be any flexibility on it. it is also quite a lot less money than i would earn if i worked full-time in my current job. about 1/3 less. . however, working fulltime in my current job means being prepared to be away from home mon - fri which i can never do while the kids are young, so i have to stop comparing other jobs with my current one. i do quite fancy the idea of working at the uni, and i assume - maybe naively - that there will be quiet periods over the summer, so taking time off to spend with the kids (if i have enough holiday) shouldn't be too much of a problem. anyway - best get my CV in first!

11/01/2013 at 08:44

Oh no to the job Caro .How annoying, especially as they knew what you earned when you went into negotiations. Hope hubbys back doesnt keep him out too long.

Skiing sounds brilliant CC. I want to take Leila skiing before too long, but think it will be next year now realistically. I have been pricing up a summer holiday to Canada this year, before L starts school in so we can go in June out of the school holidays. It's v expensive though, so I dont think it will happen. But if we don't do it now, it is likely to cost a lot more next year in the school hols as there will be no way school will let us take her out for 3 weeks. We will see.

CTF and Child ISAs we don't have either. We have the standard CTF that the govt gave us £250 for but I put it in a high risk savings as we aren't going to add to it. The main reason being that when the child reaches 18 or is it 21? they have access to all the money we have saved for them and we have no control over when or what they spend it on. I mean (heaven forbid) what if they are a drug addict, or have a really unsuitable partner that they want to spend it on? We have 2 standard ISAs that we put into which is in our name and just a child saving account. We aren't eligable for the Child benefit now, and what was really annoying was that we had to opt out rather than the government do it. It kind of just got swallowed up in house hold bills anyway, although it will be missed.

CM, sounds like you do the same sort of thing as hubby. He works in an ops management company and is a Lean Consultant. Hope you get work sorted and things with N.

Camlo, sorry to hear about your friend.

MR - hope that the 24 hour challenge goes well. Nutter!!

MM, good luck to hubby on his challenge too. How far is he running?!

All good here, L finally back to school so I can get some stuff done. We still need to sort out the babies room as at the moment it is a guest room/dumping ground! So this weekend we will be putting lots of stuff back in storage and getting everything ready. I can't believe I am 35 weeks, where did that go?

Just wondering Vixo, I know it wasn't planned but would you go for a home birth again? I am quite tempted but haven't made up my mind yet. I have a presentation scan next week although the midwife said he/she is head down now to get me ready for a home birth but still not sold on the idea. I guess if I have any doubts?!



11/01/2013 at 08:59

job applied for

11/01/2013 at 09:00

anj - interesting about hubby. i'm not a lean consultant. don't know the first thing about it! but am trying to learn fast!

i had a home birth - was fab. what is your main worry about it?

11/01/2013 at 09:44

I wish I'd had a home birth with S - I really wanted to but hubby wasn't keen and I gave in.  Thankfully I had a wonderful midwife with S (unlike with J) so even though it was in hospital it was a significantly better experience.  But if I had my time again I'd definitely do it.

Well done CM on the job application.  Weighing up pros and cons is difficult - is what makes hubby struggle to make a move to change his situation. He can't see beyond what currently is.

We haven't actually opted out of the child benefit - have had no communication from them whatsoever so hubby will pay tax on anything paid during interim - that said, letter from said useless dept has popped through door today ...

Caro - definitely get your hubby on some kind of core stuff - Pilates, whatever.

J gone to school today after a huge debate with him changing his mind at 11th hour and demanding to go in, but with a packed lunch as food doesn't taste right. So I best be off here and out for run before I get a phone call to say he's not feeling good!!! Long run will have to be Sunday now as am not risking a 18-20 miler today - would never live it down if I couldn't get back to collect him cos I was somewhere off in the hills with no mobile signal!! Hubby is off half the day cycling tomorrow so see no reason why I cannot go out on Sunday.

GOOD LUCK MM for your hubby and you with all the logistics. Hope the weather doesn't cause too much chaos.

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