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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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05/02/2013 at 06:50
Ow ow ow Karen! Luckily the knee has made a miraculous recovery, think Aidan might be taking up amateur dramatics at some point!

Caro, only thing I would do is try to take away something she enjoys as quickly as possible. The day I found Martha had been drawing on her wall she missed ballet and she was not happy about that. I guess the brain develops but behaviour regresses when they are learning so much??
05/02/2013 at 10:51

Thanks for the advice re bedwetting.  I agree that lifting her is only saving on washing, I just thought until half-term while she's so tired maybe I'd do it.  She has always had a super strong bladder and only goes for a wee at the very last moment, so getting her to wee before bed is quite a challenge!  Will keep reinforcing the bedtime routine though.

Caro - what a little minx, which parent does she get that from?!   But seriously, echo the advice of others about not making punishments too long-term as a week is still a long time at their age, and if she's anything like Sophie she'll have forgotten all about what she did the next day!  My friend's daughter went through a similar phase before Christmas so she drew her a princess castle reward chart, let her daughter choose the reward at the top (some fudge I think!) and she was an angel from then on!  Keep talking to her teacher too so she knows you're checking up on her.  Some parents wouldn't care so you're doing a good job just by taking an interest in her behaviour at school .

05/02/2013 at 12:28

Caro - we use the pebble idea to reinforce good behaviour as at home. Every time there is positive behaviour (ie dress for school without any help, set table for dinner, clean teeth well, do as asked without being asked 20 times) a pebble goes in the jar and when the jar is full they get to choose a special treat. Really makes you work at reinforcing their positive behaviour and Megan loves counting her pebbles in at the end of the day.

We also agreed wtih Megan the consequences of certain types of wrong/naughty/bad behaviour.  So if any of us lose our temper (including mum & dad) thats 5 mins on a time out. Naughty behaviour at bathtime will lose you a bedtime story, etc.  That has definitely helped set the boundaries rather than us just randomly responding with whatever punishment we felt like at the point when she misbehaved!

Think you just have to try various things until you find something that works for you.I really thought Megan wouldn't go for the pebbles idea but she loves it!

Camio - can't believe you've signed up for next year. Madness woman!

TTid - now have a vision of you in a supermarket aisle on a mobility scooter breathing hard and trying to figure out if you need orange jiuce or not! gald all going well.

Lottle - lol. Kids do say the funniest things at times.  Vagina and chips anyone?

05/02/2013 at 17:01
I would recommend putting a fleece blanket under bed wetters too, it absorbs the wee really well so other parts of bed tend to stay dry + easy to wash + dry quickly. Also means they r not waking up wet + cold.
05/02/2013 at 17:13
Was going to suggest a reward chart or something similar to pebbles too. If ur particularly arty then make a reward chart that would appeal to her, characters she likes, fairies, peppa etc etc, if going dwn the pebble route then decorate a glass jar that she can see her pebbles in as they build up. It is so easy to end up always doling out punishments + making them longer + harsher til u do nothing but, so anything that focuses on good behaviour + trying to keep the punishments short + consistent with the severity of the behaviour can help. Like suggested it can b helpful to have a range of punishments already laid out so u know what to say as soon as they behave badly + ur not blurting out stuff + immediately regretting it.
05/02/2013 at 17:52

Well she was fine today - her teacher gave her a sticker which she is showing to all and sundry, I gave her a sticker as well, and she got to watch telly!  I do like the pebble idea - have tried reward charts and I'm not in the least bit arty!

Karen which 1/2 might you be doing? I can't remember.  I def think you should go for it now you've done the training.  Did you know there is now a park run in walthamstow?  It's in highhams park, nr the peter may sports centre.  One day, I will go and try it out!  I really want to go and be a parkrun tourist as there are now so many nr by.

Pilates tonight, work tomorrow.  Am doing 2 days this wk - on Fri I am working at a branch within walking distance from home which will be nice.

05/02/2013 at 22:11
Glad she is better today caro. Perhaps she didn't feel well?

I should try some reward chart suggestions really. We are pants at carrying out threats. I like MR's suggestion of a naughty step for everyone including adults as I seem shout a bit to often at the moment.

Feeling crappy here with blocked sinuses and head ache and all u can have I'd Vicks rub. Oh well, hopefully get it out of the way before baby arrives. I feel too tired to go into labour at the moment!! How you getting on tt?

So car is a write off and we have to wait for insurance to give us a settlement. Not sure which car to go for, but tempted by a bigger 4x4 or similar to save my back when strapping in kids and also after seeing how the land rover escaped unscathed whilst my car crumpled!
06/02/2013 at 04:29
Just a quick check-in before bed to let you all know we are doing well, thank you for asking. O doing brilliantly, eating and sleeping well. Was back up to within 2 oz of his birth weight at doc appt on monday. I am doing so much better with breast feeding than with M so hope to be able to continue longer this time. I am chuckling at all of your comments about me in my motorised scooter because that is basically how it was!!

Went back into the shop yesterday and saw some of the same staff which was quite funny. Ok bed calls, will catch up tomorrow.

Hoggle, hope wedding prep going well.
06/02/2013 at 07:41
Oh and helmets. Think my boys have met helmets. Bought them from wiggle. They also have lights on the back.
06/02/2013 at 07:48
Sorry no idea, why that posted again. Silly ipad!

Good to hear youre doing so well TT.

Also good to hear m behaved better.

Oops new car Anj. Hope you are ok now.

Post more later. Was just reading and it posted random message! So thought best post quickly!
06/02/2013 at 10:39

Agree, good news TT. Whilst I absolutely don't want any more children, those very special first days ... aaaaah ... well I do miss those a bit ...

How is your foot MM?

JT - how are your lungs etc???

Anj - hope you feel better very soon, nearly there ...

Caro - whoops to M!!! She is a clever little soul but the pebble jar sounds like it might do the trick. S has never massively responded to stickers but last year we went through a shocking stage and had shells to fill a jar on a weekly basis, the treat was very simple (a packet of chocolate buttons!) but it did the trick and she soon moved on.

JG - I'd probs not go back to lifting if it was me (but I didn't lift mine anyway). J had the odd relapse when he was very tired at school in the early days but it was shortlived so we just kind of lived through it.

Ummm, what else ... CM - hope you've got used to your hair!!! Looks great.

Went to osteopath yesterday - and boy do I know it today even though it felt like she wasn't doing anything!!  Getting some improvement on the bruised sternum I think although some internal bruising still going on.  Ankle now has a bruise beneath the ankle bone that wasn't there before so something is definitely coming out now!!  Odd cos my ankle never swelled up at any point but I obviously sprained it without realising it a few weeks back. So at least another couple of weeks before I'll be trying to build up some running .  Off to find those 'suffer fest' DVDs that you keep sharing RF. My circulation is really bad at the mo and i can't face freezing my feet in the gale force winds today!  Plus I think I ought to steer clear of clip-ins and mountain bike until I've been on ski holiday!!

Can just feel my running fitness leaking away , so joining the other souls on the bench at the moment ... at least we are not lonely!!

Edited: 06/02/2013 at 10:41
06/02/2013 at 11:02

cc - i now have a bum groove in the bench because i have been on it so long. since last feb, i probably have only been away from it for a couple of weeks at a time!

anj - hope you are recovering from the nasty shock and get car sorted soon. E is after a 'strong car' to pull a caravan. J wants a dog - E wants a caravan. i am afraid they are both going to be disappointed as i cannot oblige on either score!

TT - great to read your birth story. glad things are going well. well done!! 

not sure about hair yet. it really is VERY short indeed. eeek. everyone has been commenting on it, and J has stopped crying now at least! he really did blub when he first saw me, then he got all embarrassed and told me it made my head look like frankenstein's. i think it's because the hairdresser did the big welsh hair thing with it (they like their hair big in wales), so she blow dried it to give it volume, which i HATE!!! so today it's flat, with just a bit of gel in it, but i've never used gel before so i have no idea what to do with it!

my calf is still ticking along. managed a couple of walks while E was at school on mon / tues so probably did about 7 or 8 miles over the two days. will go to pilates tonight and then onto swimming to try 1k or so. am hoping to do some more walking at the weekend.

kids are with T now until monday morning.  it's half term so he gets an extra night to make it 50/50. i hate it. kids were both upset this morning and E said 'my heart will be hungry for you when i'm at daddy's'.

caro - sounds like M is very much pushing boundaries. i have very defiant behaviour from E at times too. she didn't want to come to the table yesterday so she said 'i will come and sit in the chair that J wants to sit in and you won't make me move'. such a delight, my daughter. but OMG she must be going through a developmental leap at the moment because the questions have multiplied a thousand times. i do remember J going through this phase too probably at about the same age. from memory, it lasted quite a long time. ARGH!!! she asks questions ALL DAY LONG about EVERY BLOODY THING. and each answer to a question sparks more questions, which just DON'T BLOODY STOP!!! this morning, the two of them were in the lounge watching Tom and Jerry while i got the bags ready for school and i overheard J says 'ARGH, Ellen! Will you just stop asking these questions!' Poor boy - he is sick of it too!!


06/02/2013 at 12:25
CM - does she asks questions that don't really make sense, or have answers? Isabelle does this from time to time and then gets very frustrated when I can't answer her. I can't think of a good example at the moment but it's quite funny at the time! The good thing about hair is that it will grow again. Wish I was brave enough to chop mine off really, but I don't think it would look very good, and I've yet to see a short/mediium style with curly hair that I think looks good so growing it out would be a nightmare. I do remember being very very upset when my dad shaved his beard off when I was about 11. I'd only ever known him with a beard and he just didn't look like him at all. Of course we then got used to it and he now looks really odd with a beard - like when he grew it while they were away recently.

My running is slowly coming along, and I'm managing to fit in about 3 runs a week, but the longest has been only 4 miles, so I've got a few more to do before the 10k in march. O is still pretty temperamental in the evenings (and the weather's been horrible!) so I've been sticking to daytime at the weekend or when I can get over to my parents.

I went to choir last night and had given her a big feed and changed her before I left, hoping that the warm car and drive would send her off to sleep, only to find when I got there that she was wide awake and had done an enormous poo and stank - I hadn't taken any changing stuff with me, oops! I jiggled her on my lap at the back through the first half of the rehearsal and then eventually got her off to sleep about 15 minutes from the end. Must express so that I can leave her with hubby, but I'll have to muster up the energy to deal with the rolling eyes and martyred sighs I'll have to suffer if I get back and she's been crying for 2 hours! Ah well, I have just achieved the near impossible and she's asleep in the Moses basket and not on me, so I'd better do something vaguely useful!
06/02/2013 at 15:44

Its not great but its not terrible CC. I did reps last night and ran my 15 today. It was fine yesterday until about 1 mile into the cool down and must have landed funny coming off a kurb. Today also fine until about 14 miles. The main problem with running the last two days has been the wind. I HATE HATE HATE wind!!!  Makes me cross, winds up the kids something chronic and I find it so hard to run in. Last night my miles were slow, partly due to very heavy TOTM started yesterday, always the worst day and partly ridiculous wind. 6:30s for miles x 3 and then 6-6.10s for the 0.5 mile reps. I was struggling but no matter at the point in time. Many miles in the legs which will hopefully unfold later. Bit worried about TOTM affecting London as is weekend before it starts. Might see if there is a fix when I go back to docs after my x-ray.

15 at 8mm today. Felt fine in places and then down right hard into the wind or being blown from the side was worst tbh, when it blows the snot out your nose. Hate that!!

Seeing physio on Thursday anyway. Physio reckons its some sort of seizing up thing, and it does feel like that cos if I stop and wiggle my toes a bit the pain goes for a mile or so. Not a fracture else wouldn't be able to run at all. Need my new orthotics desperately!! Achilles also not great but managed!! Wreck  I know but I am pushing on with caution!!


06/02/2013 at 16:01

No more of a wreck than me MM I think!!! I do feel a bit broken in general at the moment so I am really working on strengthening everything else while repairing the broken bits. TOTM doesn't help does it - having absolute horror one at the moment but can never tell if it's going to be awful or barely there - the joys of being 42.5 I guess!! 

Trying not to think about my ultra at end of April, originally I had high hopes of trying to get a PB at it, but that is not going to happen at the moment ...Good training there though for you.

Vixo - oops to the stinky nappy but sounds like you are doing well with the gradual build up of the running

CM - boo to kids being at T - I take it he's got over the vomit thing now?????  I used to get that kind of questioning from J, used to go on all day every day, even my SIL asked me if I wore ear-defenders to drown it out!!!  S is not so obviously enquiring, she sits and takes everything in and then just asks a few questions.  I find that Batiste dry shampoo spray quite good for styling, especially if I have hat or post-run-no-time-to-shower hair!!!

06/02/2013 at 16:06

MM - i can tell you are treading a fine line. really hope it all holds together for you!

this morning's questioning related to an episode of Tom and Jerry, where Tom died and went to heaven. I didn't catch the beginning but E asked 'where is Tom?' Going to heaven. 'Why is he going to heaven?' Because he  died. 'What did he die of?' I don't know, I didn't catch the beginning. 'Why did he die?' I'm not sure - maybe he had an accident. 'What accident did he have?' I'm not sure - I didn't see the beginning. 'Where did he die?' FFS child! I told you - I didn't see the beginning. I don't sodding well know. He is dead, ok. He is in heaven, right. Does it matter why he died?!?!?!?! of course, I didn't say the latter, but she just doesn't give up. And yes, half the time the questions have no answer, or make no sense, or I plain don't know how to reply because I simply cannot know the answer to what she asked. And if I make something up, then I have to weave a whole web of elaborate 'answers' to further questions based on something I made up and I wish I could just stick my fingers in my ears and go 'lalalalalalala'

06/02/2013 at 16:57

Oh god CM. Sophie's questions have started and I can just see the relentlessness already. Oh god!

And  for half term.

Yes a very fine line, but I am hoping it will all pan out. Marathons are like this for me do or die which is why I've not actually made it to the start line of many!

Right best cook madam see tea and make our curry. Boys at a friends for tea. My pilates is cancelled as the teacher is too ill (am secretly rather pleased, but does mean I will have to do something at home, might avoid the legs though!!), and have parents evening at Sophie's nursery. Might need a glass of wine tonight !!

06/02/2013 at 17:21

it is absolutely relentless, MM. i do remember J doing this too. i think it was also pretty bad. but E talks so much faster than J so she can churn out WAAAAY more questions in a day that he could! i think that's what makes it so much worse! plus she just will. not. let. go. once she has a train of thought, she has to exhaust it. completely. i think J could  be distracted slightly more easily if you were on the ball early enough in the questioning process.

she is obsessed by a house which is being built on the hill near us. every time we drive past it she starts asking questions. this week, she asked who would be living there. and then she said 'i think it will be some people from the tunnel'. i was all  until she explained that those people didn't have anywhere to live so maybe they would be moving in there. (homeless people, obviously - she  must have seen them in an underpass). anyway, i explained that it was unlikely that they would be moving into the big house on the hill. (at this point, i should have said 'yes, of course, the people from the tunnel'), so then we got into a huge discussion about why homeless people wouldn't be moving into a big house on the hill and it went on. and on. and ON AND ON AND ON. and she just wouldn't let go. every now and then she would be quiet for 3 or 4 seconds and i would think 'phew. cracked it.' and then she would start again.

i suppose it's particularly relentless at the moment because, apart from 2.5 hours a day when she's at school, i have her all the time on the days the kids are with me. there's no one else for her to pester. just me (and Jacob - who gets as sick of it as i do!). perhaps once she starts school, it will calm down a bit!!

06/02/2013 at 18:37
Oh dear to all the questions cm. I get asked lots too, must be a girl thing. Today's specials included "why do you sweat when you get hot" which is fine because I can answer that! "Why are done people cruel to each other" and finally "why does food study in small intestine for such a long time?!" What? She is 4!!!

Most of the time she is satisfied with answers and doesn't sound as relentless as e. Sometimes though it is just the whole noise thing. I like being quiet and having thoughts to myself!
06/02/2013 at 18:38
Oh and she has discovered Siri on my iPhone so has been bombarding him with questions too. Ha ha
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