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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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09/12/2013 at 22:42
I can still find you on Facebook?! I think I've sent a message through here - hard to tell if it's worked(!) - but let me know if you don't get it! Hope you're feeling ok. Looking forward to seeing you on Friday.

Well done Tatty, sounds like it's all going really well!
09/12/2013 at 23:12

Thanks Vixo. Have mailed you. Weird you can find me. my acct is def deactivated. i am going to try and sleep now but already dreading the mental dreams. These anti-d's had better be worth it in the long run. It is hell at the moment

10/12/2013 at 11:21

(((CM)))

10/12/2013 at 11:25

more mental dreams last night. i gave birth to a baby which could already sit up, had a full set of teeth and had the pincer grip. it was a girl called Sam but everyone kept calling her 'he' and no-one believed that it was a girl. then it got even weirder and there was a rugby match and i lost Sam and there was lots of running / shouting / screaming etc. then i woke up.

i was so wiped out this morning and i ended up losing it with E because she left a book on the floor right in front of the sink where i was washing up. i asked her to move it but she wouldn't. she said there was nowhere else to put it. i got cross and insisted she moved it; she refused and shouted at me, so i ended up kicking the book across the kitchen, which made her scream and me cry.  i am so fed up of feeling like this. i just want to feel normal and in control of things.

10/12/2013 at 11:44

Oh CM (()) how are you today?

Haha Caro, keep up the Lotteitis!

TattyB you need to post up some piccies of your little lady on our FB page. I miss those newborn baby days... think I am broody... but no way would I go back there in reality!

Pitch black here by 4pm. Today our sunrise was 08:56 and sunset 14:58. But some days it is really hardly what you would call daylight. Still, not long until the shortest day and then its all improvement from there!

Good news... I got into the West Highland Way Race, woohoo. That's 95 miles in June! Bad news... I have an unhappy knee Same old injury I am prone too, outer edge just below knee on left but normally an easy week after a race sorts it. But it seems to be getting worse, tried a couple of miles yesterday but was owchy. So I have been hitting the bike - road bike, mtb and turbo. Trying not to be annoyed and impatient and I know it is only just over a week since I ran 100 miles blah blah blah but seriously my sanity is starting to wobble!

MAnaged to escape jury duty yesterday. They said the case would last at least a week, could run over into next week. I pleaded to be excused from serving, don't think they were very happy but really do they know how much I have on this week and what a nightmare it would be to arrange the logistics for 6 kids in the pre Christmas madness that has engulfed us!

Kinsey, you just need to make the time and sometimes be inventive about it. Obviously hard when hubbys work away or long hours and I do most of my stuff at Lotte oclock (!) My hubby is very supportive on the days I take time away to do long runs etc. To be honest I never ran until I had 4 kids and Reece was the youngest age 1, I never did anything for myself, they always wanted me and he was a very hands off dad. Now he has had to get on with it and he has a better relationship with the kids for it. Hahah that's what I tell myself anyway when I feel guilty!

 

10/12/2013 at 11:45

x post OMG CM that is weird dreams indeed. Wish I could offer you helpful advice xx

10/12/2013 at 12:02

CM Have you ever read any of Sri Chinmoys teachings. I hesitate to say anything because I realise you have a serious issue with depression and I don't want you to think that I am belittling that in anyway. but I found it really struck a chord with me. Maybe a bit dippy hippy for you!  I even try to meditate every day! http://www.srichinmoybio.co.uk/blog/inner-peace/seven-simple-steps-to-inner-peace/

10/12/2013 at 13:27

blimey, lotte - where do you find the time to meditate?? i must admit, i haven't ever read any of his teachings. it's not the sort of thing i really 'get'. reading through it, i sort of understand the point, but i'm not sure how you actually DO anything of that stuff. i don't feel like i have sufficient control of my mind to allow me to do it.

i think the basis of my depression is probably the fact that i haven't actually dealt with all the stuff from childhood or any of the stuff to do with my parents. i have distanced myself from it, but i haven't really dealt with it. so there is still so much negativity in my thought processes. someone said to me recently that i'm still letting my parents win by failing to sort myself out. even though they aren't acting out on me anymore and there is distance, i'm still living in the shadow that it all cast. but how the hell do you deal with it? i've had CBT and other therapies and none of it seems to have made a difference. and reading through the Sri Chinmoy teaching, i have no idea how it would really make a difference to me - how can you just change the way you think / clear your mind etc? i have tried before to do that and i just can't.

10/12/2013 at 13:50

I go through phases of meditating then give up again!  I just try whenever I am going through down phases to remember how short life is and that whatever it is that is making me unhappy is not worth it.  But I know that when I was on anti d's (citalopram and the other one you were on too I think CM) that I wouldn't have been able to think like that.  I didn't want to be happy, didn't think I deserved it.  But that was pre Ian and pre kids fortunately.  I don't remember vivid dreams but the insomnia was awful.

I had a very vivid dream the other night that one of my uni friends had killed himself and I was at the funeral.  I almost e mailed him the next day to ask if he was ok but then thought better of it!

Did another Lotte o'clock this morning.  I generally think I am needing less sleep these days so it's not that hard to get up, and actually it didn't feel cold this morning even though it was thick fog and 2C.  Have got work xmas dinner fri night so the test will be whether I make park run on Sat.......

Carol singing tonight on  the wrong side of town so think I am going to be tired later and find it hard to get up for work tomorrow!

 

10/12/2013 at 20:45

 

Can I just say HUSBANDS    

10/12/2013 at 20:51

Oh dear EF! Now I am dying to know what he's done!

Big hugs CM, those dreams sound awful. I hope things settle soon for you xxx

11/12/2013 at 10:16

oh dear EF. hope all is ok

more horrid dreams. more tears from me this morning as i just can't cope with the kids being kids when i've only had about 2 hours sleep and even that was punctuated with dreams.

been to E's nativity this morning. she was full of confidence as usual. she also had to bang on a block during one of the songs along with two other kids and she was the only one in time. proud  haha

11/12/2013 at 13:38

(((CM))). Hope you can find a way through this. Hope you enjoy the weekend with Vixo.  We miss the pictures of your kids on fb, especially E and her fashion parades.  Also love your elf photos. Charlie, our elf arrived a couple of nights ago and Max is loving him. So far we have been quite modest with his location in the mornings but I'm sure he'll be zip lining from the balcony soon

11/12/2013 at 15:03

i wish i had done elf on a shelf when J was younger! he's pushing the age limit for believing in it really. E's age is perfect as she falls for it, plus she doesn't really care if it's real or not - she just loves it

 

11/12/2013 at 19:01

You are definitely missed on facebook CM, even comments u have 

made on other people's posts/pics have disappeared. 

11/12/2013 at 19:20

I am missing  your posts on FB too CM!! Next year you will be able to recruit J to help you with Elf on the shelf and he will love coming up with ideas I bet!

Looks like HF&M here again for Matilda so won't be getting any work done! Typical that after 3 days of hubby at home, it appears when he is working today and tomorrow!!! She seems perfectly well so will be doing some outdoor activities regardless and just avoiding inside activities with other kids.

 

11/12/2013 at 23:15

Whiled away the morning in a very pleasant fashion - actually really nice having a "sick" child who actually feels fine. Met friend who gave M hand, foot and mouth for a play and did a long buggy walk via a fire engine training exercise - very exciting and M was thrilled to talk to the fireman and get given stickers (love those accidental opportunities). Will be getting paddling pool out this afternoon as it is HOT!!!

11/12/2013 at 23:33

Charlie our elf put up our Christmas tree today while we were all out. Max's face was a treat when we brought him home tonight. 

Grr to hf&m Hoggle. Mr TT just had it. Must have caught from one of the boys but neither of them had the spots!

12/12/2013 at 11:56

paddling pool sounds fab. not so good about the HF&M tho. not had that (yet...)

i am feeling sooo much better today. called GP last night as literally shaking so badly i was dropping things. also so tired and on verge of tears constantly. banging headache too. she told me to stop taking the 2nd lot of a/d's which had been prescribed last week and instead prescribed a different set of a/d's (so my 3rd lot!). i haven't been to pick up the prescription yet, but even just not taking them for 24 hours has stopped the shaking. i also took a sleeping tablet last night and got 5 hours sleep in a block, so i feel human today! i still had a weird dream and still woke up sweating but 5 hours is soooo much better than 20 mins.

i phoned my boss yesterday when i was at my worst and said i couldn't drive to Hemel so i am working from home today and tomorrow instead. thank god! 

12/12/2013 at 14:11

Fingers crossed third time lucky CM

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