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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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12/12/2013 at 20:29

CM Hope the new ones have fewer problems and make you feel better.  Sounds totally grim. xx

 

12/12/2013 at 20:55
It has all gone a bit tits up tonight. Had a stressful day with work. Went out to speed session being run by my friend. Was in tears on way as felt rubbish but was sure I would feel ok once I got there. We warmed up and were doing pyramids. I did the first two ok but got to the 400m one and got to the end and has the worst pain in my head I have ever experienced. It was like someone was crushing my skull. I has already been struggling. Hadn't been feeling like I wanted to be there but the pain in my head was unbelievable. I couldn't stand up. Anyway my friend took me back to my car and I got home but feel so shit now. Feel like I have messed up everyone's session. And I feel worse than I did before I went out.

I can't face going and getting the new a/d's. I can't take any more side effects.
12/12/2013 at 20:56
Typos sorry. Oh iphone
12/12/2013 at 21:24

Oh CM, I hope you managed to get an ok nights sleep.

HF&M turned out to be chickenpox! Annoying as I had been looking at the vaccine but hadn't got it sorted - story of my life!! M was pretty miserable this morning and was sick all over me but has perked up now. Boredom may kill us - sucks as we had heaps of cool stuff planned this weekend but in a way lucky timing as much later and we wouldn't be able to go to the farm for Christmas - I think giving my niece chickenpox to coincide with having a new baby would not be considered a good Christmas present!!!

 

12/12/2013 at 21:53

Oh boo hoggle - I did wonder how she would have caught H, F and M again so soon.  I alos think they must develop some sort of immunity, as when M had it she gave it to me, then when E had it (many yrs later) I didn't get it again, nor did M, but hubby got it.

CM, I really don't know what to say, you sound so unhappy at the moment.  Please go back to the GP, or at least call her, and explain all your worries about the ADs, and the side effects.  What about counselling again, or at least talking to someone?  

One of my branches xmas parties tomorrow night, so going out for a meal after work.  No idea how raucous they are when not at work, and they'll only be 5 of us I think so cant imagine it'll be too wild!  We shall see.  I am trying to make myself be sensible so I can get to park run on Sat.  Watch this space......

12/12/2013 at 22:35

Blimey, they sound awful CM  Fingers crossed for the 3rd lot.

Boo to H F & M too, had it a couple of times here and it wasn't much fun.

Bit of an odd situation with Sophie's teacher really - I get on with him really well and he's obviously told me he's resigned but no other parents know so it involves quiet conversations when no-one's looking/listening.  I almost feel like we're having some kind of affair!  He wants my email address and asked me to stick up for him when/if people slag him off after he's left.  He's only in his first term of teaching so I feel like he's being a little unprofessional confiding in a parent in this way, but at the same time we're both adults and both teachers so I can see his point of view a lot more than other parents possibly can.  I guess once he's left it won't matter if we keep in touch - just a bit weird to be on personal terms with your daughter's former teacher or am I worrying over nothing??!  

In cat news, Sid decided to follow me and Nicky halfway to school yesterday!  I was really worried as we have to cross a dual carriageway (40mph but busy), but fortunately he stopped about 2 gardens from the road - phew.  So when we got home I put a reflective collar on him with a bell so he's jingling around the house!  He's ginger so more visible than a black cat for example, but I worry about his lack of fear on the roads, and the way he sprinted across the road when he was following us, albeit a no through road.  I'm thinking of swapping the collar for a completely reflective one though, just so he's more visible.  Might ditch the bell though...not sure what the point of a bell on a cat's collar is?!

12/12/2013 at 22:41

To stop them catching birds.  

I don't think he should have told you JG-not unless he was a friend before he was Sophie's teacher?  Yes a bit unprofessional I would say, but then maybe he just wants some advice.......I know nothing about teaching so I could be talking out of my bottom.

sad indeed CC, even at 95. I had a client on wed tell me that she had her mothers funeral next wk.  she'd had dementia so I think the daughter felt it was for the best and she was very matter of fact about it, but still sad.  Honestly, the things people tell me when I don't know them from Adam!

12/12/2013 at 22:45
CM - are you by yourself? Is there anyone who can be with you? Hope you're feeling better now, and you manage to get some sleep. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed you can make it here for Saturday, x

Ugh, I had a long post planned, but have just been watching the news, and saw a piece on gun crime in the US, with the parents of the children who were shot in Newtown talking about their murdered 5 year olds. I'm sure being tired all the time makes it worse, but I definitely worry a lot more about things happening to my family than I ever have before. Oh, and I cry lots more too!

Hoggle - hope the pox isn't too bad! Piriton worked well when Isabelle had it - anti-itch and also a bit of a sedative so good for sleep. Fingers crossed it's over with soon, and as you say, will be done by Christmas!

CC - running sounds better than housework! Our house could seriously do with a good clean and sort-out. I think my husband is going to lose his rag with me soon because our spare room is absolutely covered with all my sewing stuff, and not in a good way! The problem is that O's cot is also in there at the moment as we're in the process of decorating, so I can't get in there in the evenings to sort anything out (although I've put the travel cot in our room so that if/when she sleeps in the day I can get in there, but then I potter around making stuff instead of tidying - oops!)
12/12/2013 at 22:56
Sorry, several cross-posts as I was distracted in the middle of typing!

JG - I think that's a bit weird too. I think if you want to be friends with him (unless of course he was a pre-existing friend) you should wait until after he's left the school. In fact, even if he was a pre-existing friend I would expect him to maintain a professional distance as your daughter's teacher. Maybe as a more experienced teacher you should gently try and tell him that his behaviour isn't really appropriate, and suggest he talks to his colleagues, or people unrelated to the school until he's finished working there.

On the cat front...I think putting a bell on their collars is a bit mean - imagine something tinkling round your neck every single time you move your head!! Ours do catch the occasional bird, but the birds have the advantage, as the cats are completely white, so pretty easy to spot in the garden (the odd few days of snow we get excepted, of course!)
12/12/2013 at 23:07

I agree about the collars Vixo, but they all seem to come with a bell - why is that?!!

I also agree with your view on Sophie's teacher.  I suppose the difference is that I help out at school so work with him one morning a week, so in a way I am a sort of colleague??  Anyway, I suppose I don't have to reply to emails.  I guess I feel if we'd met somewhere else we'd be friends, but because he's a teacher and I'm a parent it makes it weird, or at least looks that way from the outside.  Also because he's male I think that adds to it, even though everyone thought he was gay to begin with as he's very camp!  He is actually married with kids...!

Agh must get on and write something down that I'm going to teach tomorrow and stop procrastinating!  Hubby out on work Christmas do so I'm sort of waiting up for him without realising it I guess!

12/12/2013 at 23:18

Dump house here too  I am not the tidiest person in the world but even I hate the state it's in right now!

Your poor sister and husband CC   Does make you appreciate what you've got.

Right, bed...

13/12/2013 at 07:13

Ah didn't realise you worked with him JG.  None of my cats have ever worn collars and I don't think bells stop good mousers or birders anyway.

13/12/2013 at 09:19

JG - one of my cats followed me to school once. It is 2/3 mile walk each way. He has never done it again as it knackered him out too much! it is all uphill on the way back. i tried to put collars on them when they were tiny but they just lost them. i used to have a cat flap with a magnetic opening thing on it so that the cats had to wear collars to get in and out but they always lost their collars (and the tags) so i gave up in the end. you just have to hope they don't get squashed. the cat opposite did recently but he had taken to lying in the middle of the road at the top of the hill on a sharp bend, so it was inevitable it would happen at some point really when someone came up there too fast.

sorry about your sister's husband, cc, and also your great-aunt

thanks for your words last night. i had another terrible night. i didn't take a sleeping tablet last night because i had some early meetings on the phone today. it i take a sleeping tablet it wipes me out, even if i am awake a few hours early. it's like a hangover and everything is foggy so i can't think properly. also i am meant to be meeting Vixo in Winchester tomorrow so i know i couldn't take a tablet tonight either - i needed to see how it would go. but it was bad. i didn't really get any sleep at all and came and sat on the sofa at 2.30 as i was getting too anxious in bed.

i don't really know what to do now. i suppose i should take the new drugs but i am terrified they are going to make me feel worse. i don't think the GP will have anything to suggest really. they aren't going to know if it will make me feel worse, so the only way i can find out is to try.

i don't feel like the counselling was working really. and it's £50 a session which is a lot to pay when you don't feel like you are getting anything out of it. i don't know where to go from here with it. i guess maybe finding a different counsellor but how do i do that? i have tried CBT and EMDR and don't feel like either of those helped me. i think i am a bit 'immune' to techniques - almost feel like they won't help me because i don't believe in them. which is self-fulfilling really.

my legs hurt from the aborted pyramid session yesterday. but i didn't cool down or stretch because of the pain i had in my head so it's not surprising i guess.

 

 

13/12/2013 at 09:24

Can't you at least get on a waiting list to see someone on the NHS CM?? 

13/12/2013 at 09:43

i can caro. my friend waited for 4 months to see the NHS counsellor at our gp practice and she sounds utterly useless tbh. that is why i am loathe to do it really. i have done so much talking about all of the things that contribute to my depression. i don't need to do any more. i need to find a way of moving on from it all. i understand why i feel like i do but i don't know what to do about it. so i don't think the NHS sessions would really help.

13/12/2013 at 09:45

and i had CBT through my private medical insurance back in 2008. that didn't seem to make much of a difference either. but it does mean i wouldn't be able to go private because i have already had a private referral.

13/12/2013 at 12:28

I thought CBT was useless too back in the day, but I saw a private psychiatrist for almost a yr I think, back in 2004.  I used to type pages and pages of diary, mostly during the night when I couldn't sleep, and then give him the disk and he would read it, so he could see how I was doing over the wk or 2 wks in between appts rather than just as a snap shot for an hr when I saw him.  It really helped me to write everything down, and gave me something to do when I was awake half the night.  I used to go to sleep ok then wake up very shortly after and be wide awake for hrs. 

In the end I made a conscious decision that I wanted to get better, but that coincided with meeting hubby, changing jobs, moving to a new area, and I'm sure the drugs helped and the talking helped.  But I was in a spiral of self hatred at the time, and I know full well that it's no use telling people to snap out of it because you cant, although when you're well it's hard to understand why depressed people cant.  There's a depressed character in the Archers at the moment who's just tried to kill himself and I think they're really trying to use it as a storyline to publicise depression and try and take away the stigma associated with it.

13/12/2013 at 12:54

caro - that's interesting. i had all sorts of therapy for my eating disorder in my late teens. in the end i just decided i wanted to get better because they had told me that unless i reached 8st, they wouldn't let me go to university. and i wanted to go, so i got better. but i don't think i really dealt with stuff - i just decided i wanted to move on and i did. and i think ever since then, when i've had depressive episodes, i've just eventually decided i have to do something about it. like when i was so depressed when i was with T, i moved out. now i'm depressed again, and i feel like it's my job, so i want a new job. but i never really deal with all the stuff so that i don't end up spiralling down into this self-hatred thing. and you're right - it's absolute self-loathing. i hate being inside my own skin and just can't work out how to get out of it.

13/12/2013 at 13:31

I was also starving myself at this time too, and the first thing he did was weigh me every time I saw him, and the threat was if I got below a certain wt then I would be hospitalised, which I didn't want, because it would have meant my parents found out which I definitely didn't want!  I think I just got fed up of staving myself, because as you know it's not easy.  There's probably a lot of stuff I haven't dealt with too, but I don't think about it - I'm happy to say the past is the past and leave it at that.  For me there was one specific event that triggered it all (yes I had been anorexic before but not depressed) and I am fine with that now, happy with the decision I made and how I dealt with it, so when I look back at it I don't think I should have done things differently.  I just felt like a really bad person because of something I did and in a way made myself depressed because I felt I didn't deserve to be happy because I was such a bad person, and it took me a while to get over that.

13/12/2013 at 19:58
Pretty much no sleep here so M is miserable and tired and I'm just plain exhausted!! Hubby will def be picking up the slack today!!
Sorry things are still so tough CM, no suggestions just sending you a hug.
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