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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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15/01/2014 at 22:02

Oh goodness CM - poor guy! 

Thought I'd only been off thread for a few days but seem to have missed loads. Hope you find a good race to do CC. I'm toying with the idea of the Mourne half marathon in June. My brother and dad often run it so I'd have some company and seeing as I'm unlikely to get a PB so son after Isaac I wondered about trying an off road race for the first time... 

well done on WW EF! I've got about 7lbs to go to get to my pre preg weight and 10lbs to get to my happy racing weight. To be honest, for me, the more I think about food and eatig and weight, the heavier I get!! after having Ethan, once I'd lost my baby weight (& a little extra) I was the happiest i have ever been with my body and my weight. Looking after Ethan was my priority and kinda took my mind off my weight etc and weirdly I lost more. So second time around, every time I start hating myself or my body (& my tummy def needs some Pilates work or something to tone up again!) I remind myself that for me anyway, it's better NOT to stress!

& as others have said, frim FB U ALL LOOL FAB and are fab women & great moms which are the main things!

love the new shoes Caro! 

managed a v short unexpected run today thanks to a lovely friend spontaneously watching Isaac for me. Keeping spare kit in my car is paying off! 

15/01/2014 at 22:04

Oh and pleased to hear wee George is doing so well JT. hang in there wih sickness Sonya. Hopefully it'll pass by 13 weeks ish? 

15/01/2014 at 22:36

I do think u have to b very careful with kids, I have known 

many kids who have bn big at various points but then taken 

a huge growth spurt and bn skinny and lanky in a very short 

space of time. Hadn't seen my friend's 11yr old daughter in about 4-5 months and when I seen her 

just b4 Xmas I would not have recognised her, she had grown about 6 

inches and gone from being a well built chunky kid to a tall skinny lanky kid.

16/01/2014 at 00:10

Good work on throwing stuff out CM - hope you get a boost out of doing something your mother would hate!! I'm glad that the person you are seeing seems sensible e. the eating etc and that you feel able to be very honest.

I weighed myself this morning and have lost 16kg in a week!! Something tells me the $15 scales we bought are CRAP!!! Otherwise hubby won't recognise me when he comes home today (well I think he's home today, I haven't heard from him since Tue!).

I don't think they do a 'fat' letter here but there is a growing obesity problem particularly in Maori and Polynesian kids. The future implications are awful...

Did the daycare walk this morning but didn't run back as managed to meet up with my friend and walk with her to walk which is the long way home for me. Am feeling so much better now that I am exercising regularly again - and it means I can justify eating all the ice cream I have eaten while hubby is away. Don't normally have any in the house and have nearly finished a tub since Monday. Monkeyrunner you sound exactly like me - I will eat all sorts of cooking stuff just to get sugar in me when I am desperate!!! Forget ever having cooking chocolate in the house!!

 

16/01/2014 at 08:29

That sounds brilliant JT 

 

My waist to hip ratio is 0.76 which is good but my waist is 34.5" which is not good as above 32". 

 

Waist to hip ratio not ideal method to determine health 

tho, u get women with humungous backsides and their waist to hip 

ratio would b fab, whereas a very slim woman whose waist and hips r 

both tiny would have bad waist to hip ratio, above 0.85 is bad for a woman.

16/01/2014 at 09:01

i have been known to eat cooking chocolate. i work very hard on not consuming the kids' chocolate. they take it up to their rooms when they are given it (that and any kind of sweets they get given or win). they then end up not eating it, it goes off, i throw it out

16/01/2014 at 09:57

nice story, JT - calm births make all the difference!

J looks porky at the moment. not helped by 2 all you can eat buffets in one week, i guess. i took him to one on the monday before they went back to school; he then went to one with his dad at the weekend. when he came back to me on the sunday, his belly was sticking right out. T has noticed too. he can't fit any of his school trousers as can't do his waistband up.

i have posted before about my worries about his eating and how much he can put away. he does make healthy choices and doesn't snack between meals at all (his chocolate never gets eaten!). but he does just eat too much at mealtimes and keeps asking for more food at mealtimes. i try to regulate it and most of the time it's possible. but then he has 2 huge meals in a week and it piles on. i couldn't believe it when i saw his stomach!!

he's 7 and wears age 11 - 12 clothes. he's very tall though - the trousers aren't too long. but equally he fills them out.

i know he'll have a growth spurt again. he was looking quite lean over christmas, so i'm sure he'll sprout upwards again. just what we need. more height?! he has size 5 feet now too...

16/01/2014 at 09:59

Lol to comments JT, glad it all went so well and fantastic that only got 6kg to lose, and probably a good bit 

of that fluid due to hormonal fluctuations, so no doubt go very 

quickly.

16/01/2014 at 10:04

J sounds exactly like my friend's daughters CM, her two 

youngest r very tall and have both bn heavy at various timesbut 

it all worked out as they grew, so I would not worry at all 

about J. He eats healthy food and is active, that's all that matters. 

 

16/01/2014 at 10:09

yes, you're right Tt. he was probably less active over christmas - although we did do a 5 mile walk one day and he also did a few short runs with me. but he wasn't doing his rugby twice a week (Sunday rugby wears him out - not only does he play 3 or 4 games of 10 mins each but he is also clowning around with the lads with the ball for about 3 hours when they aren't on the pitch), plus he has a swimming lesson, which he didn't do in the holidays (although we did go swimming but it's not the same. he swims 500m+ in his lessons but just messes around being a dolphin when i take him). and he wasn't walking to school and back or playing in the playground every day. most people pile on pounds over christmas anyway i guess - and he did eat a LOT of christmas cake

16/01/2014 at 10:33

Were u the same as a child CM? Just wondered whether u were 

and ur Mother handled it badly triggering ur ED, or if it was 

purely a reaction to other aspects of their parenting. 

16/01/2014 at 10:40

Just wanted to say too, that despite having terrible parenting 

role models u have turned out to b a fantastic Mum and u should b extremely proud of 

yourself CM. In fact there are a few on here who have 

bad childhood experiences but have turned them around 

and used them as lessons on how to do better in their own parenting. 

That is a fantastic thing and u all deserve to feel fab about yourselves 

for doing that. A lot of people just spiral dwnwards with every generation.

16/01/2014 at 11:34

Tt - i was a big child, Tt. i look at all the pictures of myself in class photos and i was always taller and bigger than the other kids. i always felt very ungainly as well - i was clumsy and had a stupid haircut and wore massive glasses and just looked big and awkward.

my ED came around after my food intolerances in junior school. i started vomiting regularly and ended up in hospital after i collapsed. was diagnosed with wheat intolerance. that cleared up the vomiting, but i still had asthma and slight eczema and rhinitis. my mum took me to a homeopath who did all sorts of weird allergy testing on me and told me i was allergic to just about everything. i had to take these drops to 'desensitise' me to the things i was allergic to (minute distillations of the things i reacted to) and go back for regular testing (all day at the weekend once a month). i was put on an exclusion diet - only allowed to eat meat, fish, fruit and veg. no grains. no dairy. no eggs. i was about 11 or 12. i hated it. my grandmother thought my mum was mad and would feed  me all the things i wasn't supposed to have when i went to see her and then say 'look you haven't suddenly got ill. you are fine. there's no need for you to eat like this'. but obviously didn't say anything to my mum.

so that's how it happened. i started eating secretly all the things i wasn't allowed to have. then started to get fat so started making myself sick etc. then it escalated into full blown anorexia and by the time i was 18 i weighed about 6 stone. with an offer from cambridge to study languages that i couldn't take up as i was too ill...

so i can blame my mum for that if i choose i guess.  she obviously had a lot of anxiety around my health but i wonder if it wasn't a bit munchausen by proxy-ish. keeping me ill so that she could control me. she was the only one who could prepare me food. it had to be stainless steels pans, filtered water etc. i couldn't eat anywhere other than at home etc. and actually - there wasn't really anything wrong with me other than an intolerance to wheat, which cleared up by itself by the time i was in my early 20s (last time i had a wheat-based reaction was when i was about 22 after eating nothing but bread and cheese when interrailing for a month). all the other things i had (a bit of asthma, a bit of eczema, a bit of hayfever) were quite normal things to suffer from. and probably did respond a bit to no dairy but to be honest, i didn't have steroid inhalers or anything and it really wasn't that bad.

16/01/2014 at 13:36

I would say blame it on bad parenting rather than bad 

parent, I don't think ur Mum is a bad person and that only 

causes pent up resentment to think that way. Ur Mum is clearly 

messed up in her behaviours but I am sure she thought she 

was doing the right thing at the time

16/01/2014 at 13:39

albeit she was wrong and ur paying the price

16/01/2014 at 13:57

yes, she's messed up in her behaviours. stripping my daughter naked in public in february when she wet herself, hitting her and screaming at her until she was sick - behaviour of a bad person? hmmm. i could be persuaded. i certainly demonised her in my mind. i remember when i was having therapy for anorexia i had to draw a picture of my mum. i had this mental image of a monster. i refused to draw her because i couldn't bring myself to draw a picture of a monster. i was terrified of her. she had hideous outburts - violent, physical outbursts. as well as violent verbal outbursts. and she was so unpredictable - she would leave home for days at a time. i remember the first time she did it was on my 5th birthday. we don't know where she went. we never found out. 

anyway - i really should be over all of this now, shouldn't i? it's not helpful to let it drag me down.

16/01/2014 at 14:33

That's why sometimes it's better to distance the behaviours, in a way, 

as in see that she obviously has huge problems, whether it's 

mental health issues, personality disorder from a traumatic 

abusive childhood or whatever. It's her behaviours that were 

wrong, not you, you were a gorgeous innocent child just 

like ur beautiful babies. She wasn't strong enough to see her 

mistakes/problems, you are. 

16/01/2014 at 15:02

yes, she does have huge problems. and yes she had a sh1tty childhood. is it just a case of not having enough emotional intelligence to make the decision that you won't continue this pattern of behaviour tho? it was when she said to me, after i confronted her about the incident with the police, that she wouldn't hesitate to do the same because E was such a nightmare child and the only way to deal with it was the way she did it - that's when i realised there was no hope. that and my father saying there was nothing wrong with what they did, and the person in the wrong was the person who reported them who was a coward for not confronting them if they had such an issue with what they were doing. i actually hate my parents for that. it's 2 years ago now, and i still have such a strong emotion of hatred when i think about it.

16/01/2014 at 15:36

JT - maternal. she was very toxic too. hated my mother and went out of the way to slag her off. especially to me. it was a horrible situation. i already feared my mother and then my grandmother was slagging her off too. told me she should never have been allowed to have children because she was a 'paranoid schizophrenic'. my mum went through long periods of time having no contact with her. but in the end she always went back. it's horribly reminiscent of my relationship with my mother too. except i've made the break and i'm not going back this time.

16/01/2014 at 16:56

Good for you CM

 

It has taken me 10yrs to b able to b in the same room as my Mum's partner and no longer feel 

utter hatred towards him. He will never b allowed around my children 

even in a 'safe' environment but I can at go and do my Mum's 

cleaning while he is in the house and exchange polite 

short sentences. And he never actually hurt or touched my 

child, just what he did was a huge betrayal of trust and it made 

me question every minute he ever spent with my daughter 

and gave me horrific nightmares that I will never forget. 

Not to mention the hurt he caused to my Mum and the fact my daughter lostthe 

Grandpa she loved. But I have no regrets about my decision 

to cut him out our lives, my responsibility is to my children first and foremost.

 

I know he had a horrific childhood, with sadistic evil abusive father and 

then stepfather and I feel some sympathy for him, but I have to protect my children at all 

cost. If his mother had done the same he wouldn't have endured the 

childhood he did and I think he actually respects 

my decision for that reason.

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