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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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Camlo    pirate
10/02/2014 at 20:51

Nothing to say you cant work early some days and late on others so you either take or collect on the days they are with you and of course when they are with T you work really long days (to benefit the service). if your current bosses knew you were being head hunted could they improve things otherwise? I think that is rhetorical but a miracle could happen! 

Fab recognition Lotte, doesnt sound like the most interesting race but at least you can get in the zone and just stay there! Boo to expenses, its about time you got a sponsor for the races at least! 

Fingers crossed you can stay put Hoggle x

Spent an hour playing an angry bird card game with the boys after tea and they LOVED it, must try and hide hubbys ipad more often as they get so much benefit from it. 


10/02/2014 at 21:33

I really need to get my brain in gear!! I have a lot of work to do and am suffering from serious CBA at the moment - since end of last week!! SO it means I will have a mad panic later this week I expect! Almost forgot physio - looked at computer and saw it was 9.29 and physio was 9.30 luckily its not far away. Back is just getting tight again after a series of long drives so want to keep on top of things. Decided to book an appointment just to focus on getting a set of exercises to refocus me and I WILL be going to pilates again!

And here I am procrastinating again.................

11/02/2014 at 00:38

Hehe cute podge! We need some photos I think!

My friends 7 month old weighs 9.5kgs and my sisters 22 month old weighs 10.5 kgs!! Amazing how different 2 kids (both girls) can be!!


11/02/2014 at 09:31

oh dear re hubbies...

and wow - JT. what a podge

i will struggle to get in to work early on the days i have the kids. there won't be childcare open early enough (and i don't want to be dropping my kids off somewhere at 7am really!). if i do find a childminder who can take kids from 7.30am, i probably won't get into the office before 8.30, which means if i leave at 4 (which is early really), i will be back by 5 (hopefully). that means childcare / school from 7.30 to 5, which isn't ideal.

the kids both asked me this morning if i was going into work and when i said i was working from home, they were jubilant.

anyway - no point worrying. having had the offer through yet

11/02/2014 at 09:46

Thanks all for trainer advice. I have gone for some Salomon's from Wiggle so can send them back easily. I love mizuno trainers, and the off roaders are dead compfy but were useless in recent 10 mile off road/mulit-t race. I wear spikes for proper league/championship XC.

What vest thingies have you both got? I need a small one obviously so be keen to know what is best. Having trouble finding somewhere to stay at the mo for the event. All booked up the hostels and lodges as we entered late. Not too keen on sharing a room with my running buddy in a B&B although might be OK, no worse than sharing a tent I guess. Hubby won't be keen though. Ha!!

Congrats to Lotte. Well deserved, you are an amazing runner. I do worry about your food etc but it seems to do you no harm, but skipping meals is not good I don't know where you get the beans from. I want some. I could not just run 38 mins for 6 miles now without help from someone I fear. Amazing! I struggle to run at that pace in training. Maybe you should find a nice quick 5k or 10k over the summer?

Also congrats to all the new babies on the way. Joining the '3' club. 

I am struggling with Josh particularly. Major meltdowns, hormonal fluctuations I'm guessing? Can't control his anger and emotions. Totally exhausting me...

CM. I would ask the question. My job was full-time hours, I got them down to 3 days over 4. I do work longer than that but I tend to fit it in whenever then. I need to have a word with them about my hours as its not sustainable at the mo. Really struggle to find good after school childcare. Currently the boys go to Sophie's nursery after school but they hate it. School has no breakfast or after school clubs apart from the odd specific club once a week like 'Art club' or rugby. Its a nightmare. Found one childminder but she would have to use a taxi to get the boys home which I wasn't happy about either. Apparently possibility of after school and breakfast club from September. I keep meaning to go and ask the head about the rumour, as I need to plan for when my contract changes.

Any hoo. Talking of work. Must do some. My friend has just whipped Sophie away for me until 12pm as she does every Tuesday. Superstar friends I have 

Ooo. Just had a call from a lodge in Cornwall they have a log cabin come free. £140 for two nights. Superb 

11/02/2014 at 10:53

Sonya, best of luck today xx

11/02/2014 at 11:21

good luck today to TTid and Sonya xx

and yes, i think the uni will be flexible. it's just how flexible... especially as this is a service desk which is available between 8 and 5. i kind of need to be there during those hours. obviously not all of those hours but i do need to show my face!

am hoping to ask for a late start every weds so i can drop kids at school.  should be there by 9.45. can then work until whatever time necessary to make hours up. and do a very long day on thursdays. start at 7.30 and finish at 6pm? i can also do a day like that every other friday.

i'm also hoping to ask to leave by 4 on mon and tues but not start until about 8.30 or 9. and every other friday to finish at 4 as well.

11/02/2014 at 11:30

Is it scans today? XX

11/02/2014 at 11:32

yes - Ttid and Sonya both have scans

11/02/2014 at 11:47

Thanks Ttid! Good luck to you too! Guessing I'm before you. Scan at 1.40. Getting nervous now.

CM, all you can do is ask! Universities are great for flexible working and long holidays, if I was still full time I would get 27 days plus college closures over Christmas and Easter. I work very flexibly because my job is so independent so I do understand you wouldn't have quite so much luxury on that front. 

Great to hear from you MM. Exciting about ultra.

And woohoo on selection lotte! 

Hoggle- you are being very patient with your hubby. Would definitely drive me crazy! My BIL took voluntary redundancy in the summer and still hasn't got another job! I don't know how he fills his days and how my sister hasn't killed him by now! He gets very stressed if she mentions jobs though.. sigh.

11/02/2014 at 12:53

CM - I work in a university full-time. They are flexible but where there is a business need then they have the right to be less flexible (and often are). Never any harm in asking though. I work in marketing so like Sonya can be pretty independent as long as what needs done gets done. And the xmas hols are real bonus!

Because Edinburgh schools have an asymetric week and finish at 12.15 on Fridays I compress my full-time hours into 4.5 days so can pick Megan up on Friday. My working week is Mon 8.30 - 6.30; Tues 8.30 - 5.00; Wed 8.30 - 2.30; Thurs 9.30 - 6.30; and Fri 9-12 from home.  I'm forced to take half-hour break if working longer than 6 hours and I usually go for a run (advantages to working on a parkland campus!). I take Megan to school 2/3 mornings a week and pick her up from school Wed aftn and Fri lunchtime, and from afterschool on Tuesdays. 

Waves to rest of girls on here.  Hope TT and Sonya's scans go well today .. exciting to have some 2014 babies to look forward to!

11/02/2014 at 12:56

Thanks guys, 2:45 scan here, 7:45 UK time. Also getting nervous. Hopefully good news all round. 

CM, what do N and your friend M think of the uni job?  Obviously we hear you letting off steam on here when you have a bad day, they know the day to day issues better. Sounds as though you are giving it some serious thought though. Hope the written offer comes in soon. 

How is everyone who was threatened with flooding?  Hope all still dry. Loved Caro's quote of the day on FB, Eric Pickles would make a better sandbag!  Lol. 

11/02/2014 at 12:57

Hi MR, long time no see. Waves. 

11/02/2014 at 13:13

thanks all - i will ask, and good point, MR, about peak times. hadn't thought about that so will make it clear that i will accommodate those times.

N and my friend M both think i should go for it. most of my other friends think i'm crazy. and the kids don't seem too keen either, but then they wouldn't. it doesn't make things any better for them on a day to day basis; in fact it makes it worse. but in the future, they won't be so dependent on me for getting to school. and then that won't matter. and also if at some point T moves over here and / or the children want a more flexible arrangement (or even want to do 50:50, one week on, one week off or something), this job would accommodate that. my current job wouldn't.

i'm thinking something like this (as we have a 2 week rolling pattern with the kids):

week 1: 8-4; 8.30-3.30; 9.45-late; 8-late; 8-late

week 2: 8-4, 8.30-3.30; 9.45-late; 7-.30-late; wfh or 9.45-2.15

it needs to add up to 35 hours. i think i have to take an hour's lunch but i'm not sure. i can actually provide escalation support between 8 and 5 every day on the phone, even if i'm starting late, finishing earlier. and i can support by email if they give me a blackberry. i'll ask anyway. nothing to lose.

11/02/2014 at 13:45
Will be thinking of you TT and Sonya, and keeping all fingers crossed for good news (and only one baby each!!).

CM - I think this is one time where you have to put what's best for you and your family as a whole above what the children want right at the moment. As you say, their needs will change, and your mental health and well-being is an extremely important part of their lives even if they don't realise it! Although this job may be less money and more time, if it gives you stability and predictability I would have thought that it might well be worth it. It's the constantly changing hours and requirements of our jobs which I find so hard to manage and plan for, and I have the help of my husband and my parents - without which we would quickly go under I think. I do occasionally long for a nice safe steady job (like shelf stacking for instance!) rather than our carefully planned but still sometimes fly by the seat of your pants existence!

I'm feeling particularly fragile at the moment, which is unusual for me, and a bit unexpected. Tiredness doesn't help, although the sleep has been much better this last week, but I think the reality of the back to work craziness has hit home. I enjoy being back, being mentally challenged and being part of my team again, but the logistics are just exhausting, and already we've had several rota clashes and difficult starts/ends to the day. As per usual virtually all of the planning falls to me, and I'm getting a bit weary of the rolled eyes and sighs if I ask more than once about the same date or time - if I got a straight answer or a solution I wouldn't have to ask again!!

Anyway, enough about me. Hope for some good news later, and CM, hope you're able to make a decision that you feel is right about the jobs.
11/02/2014 at 14:00

CM - I have a colleague who works a rolling pattern over 2 weeks so not unheard of. During school holidays I also compress my week into 4 long days (Mon-Thurs) as well. So would definitely say that for the flexibility it might be worth considering ... its essentially why I'm still here after more years than is probably good for my career!!

Waves back TTid

Hugs Vixo. Its not easy keeping all those balls in the air!

11/02/2014 at 14:12

I know what you mean about clashes Vixo, as my husband has to do the pickup on the days I work, as I dont get home till 8.  So as soon as anything happens and I need to swap days or something, I e mail him, double check he;s got the e mail, written it in his diary etc etc!  An example of how he sometimes doesn't think is he bought me and my friend the tickets to go and see taylor swift last night.  I kind of assumed given that he was the one who'd physically bought the tickets he's know the date, or have written it down or something.  But no.......and then he goes and books a trip to HK!  So I had to pay a babysitter £35 on top of the ticket price which did make it a rather pricey evening last night - but well worth it!  Tired now though.........

3 days till hubby gets home - yawn.

M's friend is coming after school and we are making pizza.

11/02/2014 at 14:12

MR - thanks. I think this is seen to be a fairly senior role - or could become one if the mergers went ahead - so typically you wouldn't have a working pattern and you'd need to work whatever it took to do the job. or that's certainly the case in my current experience of the industry. it may be different in the uni. i will wait for them to get back to me with the package before i ask about flexibility anyway... i want to see how much they want me first!  i also want to know that i will definitely be able to take my holiday during the school hols. i only need 50% of holidays but if they aren't going to let me take time off at half terms and easter, i think this will be a no go. christmas should be ok as they shut anyway, and the summer hols should also be ok.

vixo - i completely understand. i was in that situation with T, always asking him to confirm when he was going to be around and which days he could do pick up. caused no end of issues...

my worry with the job is mainly to do with the commute, tbh. it's only 15 miles but it is hideously congested. the m4 is very busy at that time and also the a48m into cardiff is awful. the uni is right in the centre. getting the train won't help as i will have to get into newport, park (and pay to park), then get the train and then walk from the station, so it won't save me any time.  the park and ride is great if you can time it to co-incide with a bus. if you can't, you're waiting 20 mins for a bus and that's not great either!

and with school drop off at 9, i'm going to hit all the school traffic out of the village and then it will be congested all the way into cardiff.  and then i'll have to get right into the centre and park... that is my main worry tbh. and also on the way back, if i have 45 mins to get home and i get caught in traffic, i'll be late. then what... i have friends who can help out if necessary in an emergency but they won't be able to take their kids to the activities they need to go to (which will be the reason i'm getting back to pick them up!)


11/02/2014 at 16:43

Ultra running jacket/vest thingie CC?? pretty please??!! 

I hate the juggling too, but do feel quite chuffed when it does all work and falls into place. I have an amazing hubbie who loves being with the kids but he has a very senior role working for a rather big company so its not easy for him to jump without planning, unless an emergency of course. My commute is 35-50 mins both ways. I don't have parents near by but do have amazing friends so when I went off to San Diego for 5 days it was my amazing friends that stepped in. FIL did help a bit but he finds all 3 a struggle now as he is 75 and on his own and he has to get here first of course. I work 9-2 Mon, Tues (home as no childcare other than friends), 9.30-2 Weds and 9.30-4 Thurs. The boys hate the after school club on thursday so am looking at other options. I juggle so they can do their sports on various evenings and so we have one evening a week we can have a friend round etc. I could do with working more so will probably go up to longer 4pm day on a Tuesday once S in school. I would happily jack it all in tomorrow though I must admit. I am here for the money, which is nowhere near what I used to get, but we need it. I HATE the travelling involved and HATE the work trips. But they are part of the job. Also HATE the filming and live interviewing!! I do enjoy the stimulation and the team are a good bunch. All 10-15 years younger than me though! My boss is never happy either!! I've always forgotten something . Anyway best get tea cooked...

11/02/2014 at 19:37

Juggling is such a major stress isn't it! We have a fairly good routine in place for when I go away now and hubby is much more relaxed about it now but I agree with needing to tell them over and over again and still not remembering (and he tells me I never listen!). I'm away overnight next Monday but am quite looking forward to it as its staff training so I get to catch up with my colleagues . I have some fab friends who have stepped in when I need cover and a fab babysitter who does our early mornings.

We are doing pizzas this afternoon to Caro - a friend of mines hubby is a SAHD at the moment and he has decided to have a pizza party. M is very excited!

Committee meeting for Toy Library last night - committee is getting too big (heavily discounted membership is the draw) but no one is putting their hand up to help with things which is frustrating!

Oh almost forgot - investor's offer has been accepted so house is under contract. Keeping fingers tightly crossed!!! Have to say the real estate agency have been awesome keeping us in the loop, phoning us regularly to let us know whats happening and both women who I have dealt with phoned yesterday as soon as they had heard to let me know as they knew we had been worrying - really lovely!



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