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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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12/02/2014 at 09:16

loving the kit talk. (i don't need any)

if anyone is interested, this is the job my boss offered me a few weeks ago but i turned down. he also offered it to one of the other girls in the team, and she turned it down. so he's gone external... and instead of this i'm thinking of a job which will pay me half of this with no bens at all. (oh and i don't earn that salary in case you were wondering. plus i'm only 4 days a week...)

http://www.jobsite.co.uk/job/service-management-consultant-team-lead-948978752?jbe_click=1&jbe_appid=33748547&tmpl=lin&sctr=IT&utm_source=jbe&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=jbe120214

12/02/2014 at 12:45

Hmmm CM, didn't understand a word of that job spec. I thought you were a linguist?  Grr to continued pain. 

12/02/2014 at 13:50

yes i was a linguist. many moons ago...

12/02/2014 at 13:51

just had verbal offer. better than i thought. and 37 days holiday and 8 days bank holidays... probably no parking tho . will be some flexibility over working hours; can discuss locally. doesn't see it being a problem

12/02/2014 at 13:57

Ooohhh, sounds good. 

12/02/2014 at 13:59

Wow fantastic holidays CM!  All sounds good to me but only you can decide...

12/02/2014 at 15:10

yup all sounding good. pension looks good too (better than shite scheme i'm in at the moment). and i think boss is sensible too.

i'm pretty sure i'll take it. i need to speak to childminders and find out how much they charge. i have LOADS of money in childcare vouchers banked as i don't use them at the moment, so there won't be an immediate cost to me for childcare, which is good. but they will run out eventually.

it's still a PITA commute. but then, nothing is ever perfect. and the salary is as much as i could have expected around here, tbh.

12/02/2014 at 15:25

Not as bad as commuting to London for the day!  Childcare vouchers are fab.  Even though all the ones I banked whilst on Mat leave at my last job are now gone, it doesn't feel as bad when paying with vouchers than it does handing over hard cash!

Plus that's over 2 working months off! 

What notice period do you currently have?  Will your current employers be surprised?

Still sleep deprived......although obviously not as badly as those with little babies so I shouldn't complain!

12/02/2014 at 15:32

i have a 3 month notice period but i did tell the uni that and they didn't seem worried. i'm on an assignment at IPCC until the end of March but that's the only thing i'm currently committed to, so i don't think they'd hold  me to it.  annoying thing is i wouldn't be able to finish my counselling at the Priory. had another session today but then i can't see her for a month as i am travelling for the next 3 wednesdays . but in the grand scheme of things, i reckon i'll manage. it's a real shame tho.

12/02/2014 at 15:35

and even better than that, my friend has had news today that her baby (whom they thought had serious heart defects which would need a series of ops from birth and ultimately possibly a heart transplant) is fine!! she is about 24 weeks pg now and at her 20 week scan they told her baby's condition wasn't compatible with life; then a week later they said 'oh sorry, we made a mistake. it looks ok, but come back to check in a week or so'. she then went back and they said 'oh no, it does look like the chambers are the wrong size, so it probably does have the condition but come back again and we will see'. so she went back today and has been given the all clear. i am soooo relieved for her. if the baby had had the condition, it would have had to have treatment in bristol or southampton (and she lives in Cornwall). she has a child same age as J; she's on her own (baby's dad lives up here; they're together but it's VERY complicated). so i am so thrilled for her.

that has ABSOLUTELY made my day.

12/02/2014 at 15:50

Great re job cm but even better re friend. What a hideous roller coaster she's been on. 

12/02/2014 at 17:23

Gosh yes. That must have been awful for her. Great news for her and for you about the job. So glad it is looking like it might work out! 

12/02/2014 at 19:33

I think it will work out. There will need to be compromises. My FA worked out my take-home pay. Gulp. But tightening belt, stopping saving, pocketing the child benefit AND using the money T pays me in maintenance as well means I should be ok. hell, people earn a hell of a lot less than this and survive. no extension though . never mind

went to osteopath - no luck. she couldn't really help. tinkered a bit around the edges but there wasn't anything really that made sense to her. personally, i think it's something nerve-related. the pain feels exactly like nerve pain. the jaw pain is an ache. sometimes, it's a stabbing sharp pain for a few seconds when i chew. but the pain i get in the night feels like pain caused by something pressing or trapping a nerve. and i ONLY get that pain when i lie down. which suggests to me that something is pressing on something somewhere. it doesn't matter how i lie - pressure anywhere on any part of my head on the pillow causes the pain. i'll wait and see what maxfacs say. not hugely optimistic.

thought i'd regale you with another gem from E today. we were walking down to school and we were talking about taxation. i've told them about it before but it's a hard concept to grasp. so we were talking about what taxes pay for - schools, hospitals, flood defences (topical), army... and then E pipes up "and Father Christmas". so THAT is how he gets his money. i thought that was quite a smart idea for a (still, but not for much longer) 4 year old!

Edited: 12/02/2014 at 19:33
12/02/2014 at 20:06

That is a real gem from E CM - she's obviously a bright little spark!!

Great news for your friend, what a tough few weeks they have had it sound like. I hope it can be smooth sailing for them from now.

Also fab about the job - there is always a compromise to be made and as others have said, kids won't always see the wider benefits just the way it effects them, but your long term wellbeing and good mental health is of far greater benefit to them than school pick ups every day, even if they don't know it!!  I fully sympathise if its nerve pain - that is the worst pain I think after my back problems!!

Bit gutted to have a big ITB flair-up while walking to daycare this morning! Haven't had it since I stopped running longer distances in 2010. However having tried a million and one ways to treat it last time I now know what works for me - squats squats squats and anything else to strengthen my glutes. So best get to work!!

 

12/02/2014 at 20:44

ok i have a childminder lined up. she is a bit more expensive than before / after school club but hopefully the kids will enjoy it as there are older kids there (comp kids), plus one boy from J's class already... and she takes childcare vouchers. and she'll take them from 7.30am

boo to ITB flair up, hoggle. that is grim!

12/02/2014 at 21:01

Lucky you CM. No childminder I can find that will do brekkie club. Nightmare! Going to switch to childminder on Thursday though for the boys for after school. She can't do before school though  

12/02/2014 at 21:37

Ohh you've reminded me I need to book our babysitter for a morning next week - luckily she is happy to do a 5am start!!!

Great that you can tick that box!!

12/02/2014 at 21:38

we are so lucky here. there is before / after school club at school. starts at 7.50 and finishes at 6pm. there are also 3 childminders who do school runs, and all do before and after school. the one i've spoken to will take them from 7.30am. i will need an earlier start than the before school club at 7.50am, so i need a childminder. the kids also aren't that fond of after school club, although i don't think they mind the breakfast club so much. i think after school club is a bit riotous without much supervision. they have all ages from 4 - 11 in there. and i suspect there is quite a bit of rough play and probably even teasing / borderline bullying behaviour. there is the right ratio of staff but they don't seem very proactive in managing the kids! so i think they get a bit hyper / stupid.

12/02/2014 at 21:39

so tomorrow's task is to accept the offer so that i can get the paperwork and then resign...

12/02/2014 at 22:05

yes, i'm going to go for it. we'll cope. and if we hate it, i can always go back . the team lead who left last year (june time), whose job i then took before my boss messed me round, is coming back as a contractor. on an extortionate day rate! so there is always that option...

oh no, JT - hope you don't succumb. i am dreading trying to sleep tonight. i've resorted to cocodamol again because i was getting such awful head pain too. i thought the cocodamol wasn't helping but having come off it for a couple of days, the pain has steadily built to unmanageable levels, so i've gone back on it.

still working here. got loads to do and may as well get it done. i did skive off to go to the osteo this afternoon and then went to tesco to buy baking stuff for valentine's day cake sale at school. so i'm sort of catching up on my hours. and funny how, when you think you have an escape route, suddenly things don't seem so overwhelmingly rubbish!

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