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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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12/02/2014 at 22:06

Ouch JT, hope it doesn't turn into anything nasty .

All sounds very exciting and in-place CM!  Horrendous for your friend - how could they possibly say a baby is not compatible with life who then turns out to be fine?!!   I would be asking some questions...

I'm in quite a feisty mood after having to deal with BT again.  They wrote to me last April and I hadn't replied (didn't realise it had been so long - oops!) but I thought I'd better try to sort it out and lo and behold, today I get a threatening email saying pay up, after they received my letter.  So I've complained to Ofcom and the Ombudsman just to make my voice heard, then I will probably end up paying the charge.  £160 ish for cancelling an 18 month contract mid-contract, but my argument is that they never said it was an 18 month contract on the phone, although they did send it in writing in an email afterwards, but I assumed as it was an upgrade our original contract still applied.  Then switched to Sky coz BT are cr*p and they told us to pay up.  I'll probably lose but hopefully I'll have cost BT money in time and letters if nothing else .

Sophie seems better  - her and Nicky spent an entertaining afternoon playing knights then queen and knight with ice cream tubs on their heads!  Hilarious.  Hubby took morning off as I was working and don't get paid if I don't work, then he went to work after lunch and forgot to leave work early so I could leave for my French class - I screamed in at about 5.58pm !  Lesson went well though so all's good now...

12/02/2014 at 22:21

Ohhh that's so exciting CM!! You need to get into audio books if you have a long drive each day - if you are stuck in a good book it makes the journey far more enjoyable!!

I really hope that despite the commute, you find the work far more enjoyable and it will have a really positive impact on your life! Am seriously jealous of the holidays too! In NZ 20 days is standard so a week less than I was used to and miles off yours!

13/02/2014 at 09:09

thought this might interest those of you who bake. i have ordered some stuff from Cake Craft World for E's birthday. (she wants Tinkerbell cake - argh. naff. but i'm doing a version of it with toadstools, flowers etc, and also doing Periwinkle and a winter theme on the cakeboard). i ordered it on tuesday night. i had an email yesterday saying it was dispatched and i could track delivery today. then i've just had a text saying "name of driver" will deliver between 1021 and 1121. how brilliant is that. (assuming he does turn up - it's not yodel so should be ok!). It gives me the option to say I won't be in and to deliver it to a neighbour or to change the day! I am pretty impressed.  Why can't more companies do this??

13/02/2014 at 10:41

it arrived at 10.40. v impressed

and i have phoned the hiring manager this morning to accept the offer verbally. have left a message for him to call me back. so it should be all stations go now

Edited: 13/02/2014 at 10:42
13/02/2014 at 11:52

Well done CM, and to think you were thinking you might not go to the interview!  Woohoo, a new chapter, very exciting. 

13/02/2014 at 11:54
Woohoo CM!????????????????????
13/02/2014 at 11:54

yup i know, Ttid.  there's a lesson for me in not predicting outcomes...

13/02/2014 at 11:55
Oops that was supposed to b lots of little emoticons but had feeling they wouldn't work
13/02/2014 at 12:01

Haha. Mystic Meg you aint!  Fancy guessing if I'm having a boy or a girl?  ;-)

13/02/2014 at 12:11

one of the things my therapist person has said to me is that when we have stressful times we respond with unhelpful thought patterns. my particular ones are - catastrophising, predicting outcomes (negatively), and self criticism. need to find realistic responses to those negative thought patterns, backed up by evidence. my problem is that i don't believe the evidence, or that it is really valid. ie - i got this job but then i think i only got it because there were only 2 candidates (i don't actually know that for sure - there were just 2 on the day when i went i think, but they may have been interviewing on other days, but i don't think so) and that is because they advertised the job so close to christmas. so i don't believe the evidence of me getting this job to be useful.

Apparently, i don't believe the evidence because of my core beliefs about myself - which is that i am crap, useless, horrid, fat etc. and these core beliefs mean that it doesn't matter what evidence i see, i will always find a reason why it doesn't apply. so she is teaching me to find the evidence, and then we will work on my core beliefs. except i'll probably resign before we get that far, so i'll never be able to have those sessions. (there i go - predicting outcomes and catastrophising again).

as for whether you are having a boy or a girl, Ttid - gotta be a boy

Edited: 13/02/2014 at 12:12
13/02/2014 at 12:15

Your therapist sounds very good. Hope you get to see her a few more times. 

I'm also predicting another blue one, only time will tell. 

13/02/2014 at 12:27


I think it will be the making of you, CM.  So many of the problems and stresses you currently have are caused by your job in one way or another - a fresh start will be great for you and for the kids in the long term (even if they don't see it that way initially).  And if you're lucky - like me - the university will be fairly flexible the longer you're there.  I went from full-time, then to part-time 9-5 three days a week when Kit was a baby, then they were willing to accommodate odd hours for me so I could work around school pick-ups and drop-offs which hubby and I manage between us.  So I now do Monday from home, Tuesday off, Wednesday 9-5 (hubby works from home or goes in after drop-off and returns to pick up), Thursday 10-6 (drop off then race to catch train into London, Mum does pick-up) and Friday 8-2 (hubby drops off, I pick up).  It works well but some of my days are manic when there are also activities to factor in - Kit currently does karate twice a week, Beavers, piano and swimming, hubby rows 3x a week and I run 4x a week.  Don't know how we fit it all in sometimes and remember all the other stuff - homework, the right gear on the right day etc - but somehow we (usually) keep those balls in the air!

Will post more in a bit but need to go out and get some lunch before 2pm meeting!  Just wanted to say congrats on the job and aren't you glad now you decided to go to the interview?   Not in the least surprised you got it either - the only person who doubts you is YOU!

13/02/2014 at 12:32

minks - thanks. and TT too. i think they will be flexible in the longer term. for now, i'll probably have to beg, borrow and steal favours from others and pay for childcare for days i need it regularly. and in time, i will probably be able to flex my hours a bit more. especially if it does come to merging all the service desks, as then no-one will actually know where i am at any one time...

13/02/2014 at 13:12

job accepted

now to wait for paperwork so i can resign...

of course this job is going to make it even harder for me to run! and i'm not predicting outcomes here. but i will be out the door with the kids in the morning (can't run before they are up as no-one else here); drop at childminder; condense my working day into shortest hours possible so that i can leave as soon as possible and drive home; pick them up and then that's it. can't run as have no one to look after them. at the moment, because i work part-days on mon and tues and from home, i can run in the day on mon and tues.

ah well.

13/02/2014 at 13:38

Woo hoo CM, FWIW I think you are making the right decision for you all.

I'm lucky as I work 10-3 3 days a week and can see them off to school and home in time for pickup. 30 min drive on clear road to work.

Life is just one big juggling act. My balls are falling all over the place this week. Ha ha good job I'm not a bloke saying that! And my car is very poorly, some brake thing needs fixed before it can pass its MOT so on top of all the other things its another £500 for a quick job (new part) or £250 is we wait 3 weeks and have said part reconditioned. FFS.

And totally with you on the hubbys and their lack of input. Mine lives in his own wee bubble and I need to tell him every day what he is meant to do and yet he still phones or texts every evening to check if he is meant to be doing something even though it is the same every week. I dread to think where my kids would end up and what they would look like if I dropped dead tomorrow! He has no idea about packing clothes, kit, schoolbags, packed lunches etc! Still he does love them and is happy to be there for them and spend time with them at every opportunity. Just needs his secretary (moi) to keep him right Mind you I do point out sometimes when he is asking why I am not in the mood for nookie more often that most of the time I feel more like his mother than his wife!!

Have managed plenty of miles this week but had a shit session at the track last night. Not dwelling on it, just wasn't in the mood after a crap day, crap windy weather, dodgy tum and palpitations. Felt better once it was done though.

They have changed our skiing holiday too, the company phoned yesterday to say the hotel we were going to in Sauze d'Oulx is closing early for refurbishment and no alternatives in same resort. But they have offered us Olympic Village appartments in Sestriere instead so that will still be good I am sure. Think it is higher anyway which is probs a good thing late in the season. Which remind me CC thank you for the offer you made ages back about clothes for skiing. All the kids now have salopettes and jackets, some hand me downs from my nephew and a few sports direct bargains. but thank you. Just socks, goggles and gloves to get now!

Better stop skivving. Could have a wee nap quite easily. Crap couple of nights sleep with night sweats (TOTM)! 


13/02/2014 at 13:51

Cars can be a nightmare can't they?  Grr to the costs you are currently facing on your Lotte. Have the kids been skiing before?  Bet you'll have a great time wherever you end up. 

Am sitting in waiting room at the moment for scan for nuchal fold test etc. was expecting it to cost $1200 so pleasantly surprised when they told me it would 'only' be $600. Ouch. Have been trying to get through to medical insurance company for 2 months to see if we can get an affordable company policy under Obamacare. Nightmare. 

As my appointment was so early and a 45 minute drive from home, I have come alone and left Mr TT to get boys up and into daycare. All 3 of them were still snoring when I left the house at 7:15!  Just got a text from him saying he had to change an 'up the backer'. Tee hee. 

Vixo, I hope you are ok, you mentioned you were struggling a bit at the moment. You do juggle a lot with your shift patterns too so hope you feel a bit more in control now. 

13/02/2014 at 19:51

TT my step brother who is of no fixed abode (he lived in a bus for a while, and tends to couch surf a lot) got health insurance with Obama care, so it must be possible.  He's made such a big deal about it.......(Obama that is, not my step bro!)

13/02/2014 at 19:58

How freaky, I just got a friend request from someone I went to primary school with in HK, so I accepted and sent him a message asking him where in London he lives, as I saw on his FB page he lived in London....he lives less than a mile from me!!!!  I haven't seen him since I was 9.

13/02/2014 at 20:00

Why  so hard to get through to your insurance company Ttid? Have the changes improved things overall for people or made it worse? We heard a lot about it on the news when it was being pushed but nothing now. Do you have to pay for the nuchal scan yourself? Ouch!!! I can't imagine what actually having the baby must cost!!



13/02/2014 at 20:22

Hoggle the point is they dont have an insurance company!  Something I've always worried about with TT as you hear horror stories with American medical bills costing gazillions if something bad happens.  But I think the boys do have insurance, just not mr and mrs T Tid.

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