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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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08/01/2013 at 14:06

Oh Hoggle sounds horrific. You are being a good friend though.

CC. How about one of the Horrid Science kits? Loads of them on amazon. I was looking at them for my nephew but am going with Meccano instead.

08/01/2013 at 16:28

Hoggle - sounds dreadful for your friends. Hope they and you are bearing up.

Mel - welcome!  We're a friendly bunch for sure.  I have Megan (was 5 in October), live in Edinburgh and work full-time. Good luck with the training - my knees can't take serious training mileage any more

CC - how about cinema vouchers (although not sure how far you are from a cinema!).  Her and J could maybe then go see something in the Feb half-term?

Caro - good luck in the negotiations!

And finally - an on topic question for this forum!!  Do any of you ladies know of a decent racerback bra? Got a couple of new running tops in the John Lewis sale but my current bras (both of which are older than I'm willing to say) are visible so need some racerback style ones. Saw a nice Nike one which was reversible but can't find it anywhere in xs. All recommendations welcome ... particularly from anybody who is in the pancakes for breasts brigade like me)

08/01/2013 at 17:29

MR- shockabsorber is my fave and has racer back. Just ordered a new one off amazon. They're padded to enhance my lack of assets! I buy a 32A for my 34AA pancakes. 

Hoggle- just horrid for your poor friend and baby, really hope it all goes well for them and the little one is well enough to go home.

Thanks all for great advice on marathon training. Do love this forum, everything from potty training to pacing your long runs I will continue my training plan but just increase some of the run lengths until the scheduled mileage is up to what I'm already used to. Definitely taking on board that I must keep my slow runs slow! I feel I am probably being optimistic following a 3:45 marathon plan so may end up slipping back to the 4hr one anyway. I am lost without a schedule! (Stratford is week after London- 28 April).

Caro- hope negotiations go well. Don't really understand it! But actually don't understand my own p/t holidays, luckily my boss doesn't count days off closely. And I also swapped to working Mon-Wed so don't miss out on bank hols (or have to figure out the complicated system which works out what I'm due!).

08/01/2013 at 20:30

i work p/t and work weds - fri. i get pro-rata entitlement to bank holidays which fall on days i don't work - so if xmas day, like this year, falls on a tues, i get 4.5 hours to take off on another day as i don't work a tues. if it falls on a weds, i get the day off as everyone else does. no BH working in my company tho. also no overtime, so even if i work more days, i don't get paid for them.

caro - can you ask for your leave calculated in hours instead of days - would that work? then if you needed an afternoon off for an xmas play, you could literally just take the number of hours off you needed, or would that not be an option because of cover?

so sorry to hear about your friends, hoggle. how utterly horrific for them.

still absolutely bog all running here, and i have no idea when i will realistically be able to try again as GP has said up to another 6 weeks. i am going spare. i will try a short walk again tomorrow and see what happens. survived crawling up the hill today at E speed without dying. in fact, the cat came with us all the way to school today - followed us 0.5 m down the hill.across two really busy roads and then got freaked by the noise in the playground and scarpered. i was terrified he would get squashed / lost on the way back and when i got home from dropping E off, he wasn't here. however, after about 5 mins he came back in through the cat flap and literally flopped on the floor inside the door and went to sleep. bless!

08/01/2013 at 20:33

J went to his first gym class tonight - have found one which is purely recreational and which has no upper age limit. all ages from 5 - 12 in together and only £4.40 for an hour. woohooo! his best friend is going too so he has company / distraction. the only thing is, his friend is very much more co-ordinated than him so i'm not sure J will be too impressed once he realises this. however, for now he loved it and wants to keep going.

08/01/2013 at 20:38

and finally - i told N today that i wanted him to sort his divorce and financial situation with his wife out and i didn't want to see him again until that happened. since then he has turned up at my house (i eventually got him to leave after telling him i was deadly serious and would phone the police if he didn't go), phoned me, emailed me 3 times (i replied to his first one asking for him not to contact me), and instant messaged me on the work system (so i had to log off so that i wasn't online for him to contact me). he has now just emailed me again. i have told him i don't want any contact as the only thing i am interested in now is him sorting his divorce. the marital house sold last february and he has done nothing, as far as i am aware, to sort a divorce other than get a valuation of his pension. he tells me it's all in hand but there is no evidence. he has just sent me an email begging me to let him tell me one last thing and he will then shut up. i don't want to engage with him - i feel like the best thing to do is just step away, having given him an ultimatum. and yet he keeps trying to get in touch with me - and ignoring him like this is very hard and feels cruel and heartless. ARGH!!!

08/01/2013 at 20:45

Thats tough CM - sounds like he needs a good push though to get him to sort stuff out (although I must confess I would end up wanting to find out the one last thing - curiosity would kill me). I hope he gets his sh** together now. And great re. recreational gym class - sounds like it will suit him very well.

Work negotiations sound hard Caro. At my old work in the UK part time a/l was calculated by hours not days - would mean that to take a Saturday off you would only take 4 hours not a whole day. Not sure if it would work out in your favour overall or not though. Tough decision!

I think I am taking my bosses suggestion to ease back into work this week a bit too seriously - have sprayed the carpet with stain remover, eaten a bag of crisps and am about to do some baking to send to friend in hospital. Work complete = 0 whoops! Really should get something done - 4 hours until pick-up time!

08/01/2013 at 21:19
Argh. Another 3 phone calls and a voicemail with him in tears. I did call him back just to say that I was deadly serious about no contact and if it continued I would be taking action. Anyway - apparently the important thing he wanted to tell me was that yesterday (oh how conveniently) he had texted his wife and she had agreed to backdate the separation so that they can go for a quicky divorce under the 2 yr separation thing. Not sure that I believe him but it is irrelevant anyway. Reiterated that I wanted to hear only when it was all done and not beforehand. I feel so awful - or rather he makes me feel so awful. But he has known for 2+ yrs that this is what I want him to do and I have had repeated reassurances from him that he is dealing with it and nothing has happened.

His reaction to the pg last year was the final straw for me I think although it has taken me a long time to actually act on that. He said that he felt guilty because the only thing his wife had ever wanted was to move to Wales (her family is welsh) and have more kids. And there I was in Wales and pregnant. It was at that point that I realised that, in spite of his protestations to the contrary, he hadn't dealt with his guilt. And by not divorcing her he is continuing to act as though he still has the guilt. If that is the case and he can't divorce her, I understand. But I won't tolerate that and there will be no future for us.

The irony is that he hasn't lived with her for 3 years. They sold the marital home a year ago and she has a house mortgage-free from the equity and considerable spousal maintenance from him (no dependent kids). He has all the debt on credit cards, nowhere to live and pays her a huge whack every month. And he still hasn't divorced her because he knows she doesn't want a divorce. She just wants to be separated.

Anyway bla bla bla. Sick of it now. 2013 is a year for none of this nonsense!!
08/01/2013 at 21:35

Stick with it CM!! If he's the right guy for you he will sort himself out and if not then you will in the long run be happier without him. Tough though ((())))

08/01/2013 at 22:25
I agree with Hoggle - be strong CM, you are not a doormat and who in their right mind would expect you to sit and wait while they continue to put their 'ex' wife first?
Hope you get better soon, take some time to do non-sporty stuff until you are recovered. Glad J enjoyed Gym class.
MR - another shock absorber fan here although the aldi ones are oK if you see them as cheapies.
Sonya - I caved and looked at a few schedules but the 5 or 6 days a week ones just aren't going to work for me and I got palpitations just reading them! I did a 20 on Saturday so no way am I going to go right back to 8 miles only to build back up gradually. think I will try and do a long one every fortnight and just make sure as the mara gets closer I do them evenly and at the right pace (slow.... But how slow when I have no realistic idea of goal...argh?!)
Anyone know what happens if you die without a will but 'told' someone you didn't want your next of kin notified????? My friend died on Saturday and I am arguing with my mum that she (we/ council/ whoever) surely has a duty to notify friends brother despite them not talking for over 30 years as there is no will. No money or possessions but that's not the point is it? Doesn't help that we don't know where brother is either.....
Crappy day at work, Archie wet his pants, burnt the tea, couldnt go running..... Early night I think.
08/01/2013 at 22:38
How sad camlo, but then I couldn't imagine being on such bad terms with a close relative. If I were the brother I suppose I'd want to know....but then if I hadn't seen my sister for 30 years would it make a difference?

Hoggle how truly tragic for your friends baby. Whatever happens its going to mean a life of uncertainties and worry, and for it all to come out of the blue.

It's only now, as my kids get older, that I can even begin to imagine how my parents must have felt when I was in that fire aged 9. Imagine getting that phone call telling you that your 9 yr old who you thought was safely on a camping trip was actually in hospital with 25% 3rd degree burns. I think as a parent I wold feel so guilty, despite the fact that my parents were nowhere nr the place at the time.

CM stick to your guns, this is not the first time you've told him.

Don't think hrs would make a difference, as instead of deducting a day for a bank hol I would have to deduct a days worth of hrs, so the end result would be the same. I have composed an e mail basically spelling out what I want to be paid and how much holiday I want, take it or leave it more or less! Haven't sent it yet.....
08/01/2013 at 22:57
Thanks Caro - friend specifically requested that her brother was NOT contacted and mum thinks we should respect her wishes but without anything in writing I fail to see how you can't contact him if he is now the sole beneficiary. I guess as she had nowt she didn't see the need to write a will and told the nurses me and mum would sort everything but we don't have any authority. Arrrgh. LESSON TO SELF TO UPDATE MY WILL!!
I think sleep on the email and read it again in the morning to check it is ok before sending. no-one is going to read it tonight! This could be your only chance to agree conditions and they may well be totally flexible in the future but if you have it in writing they can't renege.
08/01/2013 at 22:58

Hoggle - that is so awful about your friend, like I think Vixo said, anything about things happening to children is liable to get me in floods, let alone thinking about my own kids.

Camlo - hope you are in bed by now, sounds a horror day. Not sure re your friend and her brother, that's hard ... and also tough for you re your friend too ((())). Schedules, well I think you have to be realistic and adapt them to fit lifestyle otherwise you end up getting stressed out and depressed if you miss targets. BUT schedule can ensure quality of what you do. I don't follow six-day-a week ones cos that's not realistic, ones that require 5x running per week, I figure in a tough week you drop one of the easy runs

Umm - 'pancakes for breakfast' yes that's me at a lovely 30a - I picked up a shock absorber one from TKMaxx the other week for £12, you do need to be houdini to get out of it though!!! I also have one I picked up off Sweatshop online sale for £5 - Pure Lime ones which has straps that can cross over at back or not - only downside is it's not double-lined so whether it's cold or not I look like I have raisins in there!!!!

CM - definitely stick to your guns. You've spent a lot of time and tears getting your life in order and on track, I think it's only fair to yourself and your children that anyone else coming into the family unit is sorted too. We all have a degree of emotional baggage, but that is a whole truckload you DON'T need!  If he's serious he should be able to sort it out.  What about some Yoga? I know you've been doing pilates but Yoga is also good mind/body. I would think, with all that you juggle - childcare, travel for work etc etc you run on an almost empty tank a lot of the time and are probably a sitting duck for all these nasty germs around. You need to give yourself some proper TLC. Gym sounds fab for J.

08/01/2013 at 23:03

Good ideas girls re present. Off to Elgin tomorrow to pay in some cheques - so am going to see what I can find there.

Mad old day here, what with class this morning 9.30-10.30 (four ladies), no-one cleared out properly until near 11 - will need to get on top of that or I'll lose half my day!!! So by the time I'd done admin stuff, washing, clearing up etc only had short window for a workout, so I leapt on the dreadmill and knocked out 4 miles with 6 x 500m sprints at 14.7 kph which felt GOOD ... esp as I watched the wind hurl the rain across the garden outside!!!!  School pick-up, swim lessons, kids tea etc (S was absolutely hideous as so overtired - lots of screaming and flinging herself around!!!!), then another class 8-9pm (three ladies) ... and breathe!!  So, I have my first income from my enterprise

Right, must get off and to bed for first time before midnight this week!!

Am sorry, I know I've forgotten stuff

Think my new inhaler is making a difference, lungs definitely feeling more effective.

Edited: 08/01/2013 at 23:05
08/01/2013 at 23:09

I'm pretty sure I had to post on here asking whether anyone could tell me how to get in and out of my shock absorber!!!

Trying to get a giant stain out of the carpet (rented house!). There was a dirt mark (about 2 inches) and once I had rubbed at it it's now the size of a basketball!! Arrrggghh!! I have used one lot of carpet cleaner and it's a bit lighter but not much. Going to get some other stuff to try - sigh!! Here was me thinking it would be Matilda that stopeed us gettng our bond back if/when we move out! Finally had money through from Kester's grandmothers will (took 2 years to sell a flat!) so we are going to buy this year hopefully! I have told him that he needs to focus on getting job sorted first though!!


09/01/2013 at 05:30
Oh and a big well done CC!!!
09/01/2013 at 08:19

camlo - i am sorry to hear of your loss. i come from a family with lots of estrangements and this is something which has happened a few times. my advice would be to go with her wishes, if you can. in the absence of a will, you may not have any choice anyway as things will usually go to next of kin. all you can do is reiterate her wishes and see what happens.

09/01/2013 at 08:21

I am dreading when I have to clear out this rented house, there are various horrible stains on the lounge carpet where hubby either has knocked over/dropped a glass of wine after falling asleep!! or kids have knocked over his mug of tea, one of his dropped glasses of wine managed to spatter all up the wall behind - so nice on a white wall!!! Think we'll be doing some repainting for that one!!

09/01/2013 at 08:26
Haha CC - this is smack bang in the middle of the carpet in the living room . Not only is it unhideable but I see it a million times a day and it looks horrible!
09/01/2013 at 09:14

this is why i hate carpet so much!!!

i am going to have a purge of my house this weekend. i am fed up with the clutter. i can't afford to do any decoration but i can get it tidier. i want to car boot some of the clutter but i can't put it in the garage in the meantime as the roof is leaking. so i think i will have to sort the eaves out and try and squeeze it in there. having made a decision re: N for now, i feel the need to do some physical sorting out in my house too. there is so much that needs doing to the house but i just don't have the money to do it sadly.

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