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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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11/01/2013 at 14:23

I think that's my main worry CM, that you can't control what they spend it is legally theirs to do what they like with, and lets face it...when I was 18 the last thing I wanted to do was put a deposit on a house. If it was spent on Uni, travelling or house that is fine...but that is why I keep hold of the purse strings!!

My worry about home birth is if something goes wrong. The midwife has said that we are only a 15 minute ambulance ride away but still... Less importantly I am worried about the mess, as we rent and the carpets are cream!! I have the scan a week on Monday so will see how I am feeling then... hopefully I will feel a lot calmer about the whole giving birth thing.

Glad your walk went ok with no coughing and wheezing. Maybe its damp weather kicking it off?

CC, your run sounds lovely. I am looking forward to getting out and running in the air again. I so miss the fresh air I got from running. I hope your 20 miler goes well...enjoy! I've just done an hour in the just doesn't cut it though

Have a good evening in with your friend Caro. We are out tomorrow after sorting the babies room for a greek while my friend has L over night.

Hi are you feeling?!

11/01/2013 at 14:55

i was very sensible at that age and would have invested it. i guess i will have to brow beat my kids in the same way...

i had a very straightforward first birth and J was nearly born in the back of the car on the way to the birthing centre so for me it was easier to plan a home birth than worry about whether we would get to hospital on time. the birthing centre i went to the first time wasn't attached to a hospital so if i had needed transferring it would have been a longer ambulance ride to get to the hospital than it would have been from home to the hospital.

my waters went as i was pushing E out and they had meconium in them. if they had broken earlier and there had been meconium, we would have been sent to hospital. sometimes i think things work out whatever you choose. i firmly believe both times that i went into labour at the weekend because my body knew that if i went into labour in the week, i wouldn't be able to get hold of T as he would have been at work and he doesn't answer his phone when i ring it (no change there).

for me there was no doubt in my mind about having a home birth if the presentation and circumstances allowed it because of my experience first time round. but if you have any worries at all i would say it's not for you. you have to be relaxed in your mind knowing it's the right choice - then you are most likely to have a stress-free birth. if you are worrying about the transfer then (in my opinion) you are probably more likely to need one.

i don't normally believe all this fatalistic clap-trap but somehow when it comes to giving birth it seems that things do just work out one way or another!

11/01/2013 at 15:02

Yeah I agree. Its all about the right hormones etc allowing the body to give birth. I just need to chill about it. I think ignorance first time round was indeed bliss! Even though the first birth was quick and straight forward, I guess I know about the pain this time round!

11/01/2013 at 16:22
I would have loved a home birth 3 rd time round but hubby was having none of it especially as we live an hr from the hospital. I actually could have had three home births as all girls were born in the birthing pool with a bit of gas and air and not a great deal of midwife intervention,
I see 'one born every minute' is on again
Glad your lungs are vry slightly improved CM but a boot camp will have you gasping for breath am sure so be careful!!!
cC- your run sounded lovely. I did another boring three miles with the buggy but I suppose I've done a few small runs this week with the buggy, 4 on the treadmill last night, an hour on the turbo and a 40 min MTB night ride. Might try and go out tonight but we're getting a Chinese so I'll see. Working tomorrow though so won't manage anything then.
Caro- enjoy your M n S meal Caro. My hubby did something to his back last weekend and couldn't move, he went to a chiropractor middle of the week who said it was a muscle thing so it's getting slowly better. He hated not being able to do anything as he normally never stops.
Poo bum to change, back lata
11/01/2013 at 17:20

RF - i've never done a bootcamp so am 'lalala' about the gasping for air bit. also walking there and back - over a mile each way. guess that may prove to be a mistake on the way back. hahaha!

i have been watching OBEM again. easier when there is no bloke in the house tutting about me watching it. i also have a strange and guilty fascination with all those 'i didn't know i was pregnant' programmes. less so with the 'i'm pregnant and ... my husband is a woman' ones but i will also watch those if there's nothing else on. now - my secret is out. i watch next to no TV - maybe an hour or so twice a week, but i always look for those sorts of programmes! dunno what it says about me

just been to asda to buy J some new daps (size 3!!) and wellies. argh. bumped into T and the kids there, which was initially lovely. loads of hugs and shouts of 'mummy. my beautiful mummy' from both of them. and then i had to leave, obviously - i was on my way out and they were on their way in. oh god E clung to me, screaming 'i hate daddy. i want to stay with mummy'. and everyone was looking at me as i walked off. it was awful.

11/01/2013 at 17:55
Oh CM, so hard. Hope you're feeling better soon too, sounds like its been going on a long time. I'm hoping my children will be sensible with money too! We're both very risk averse with our savings and aren't big spenders - maybe that will send them the other way!!

Anj - I'm probably the wrong person to ask about home birth - as doctors we have rather skewed views about what the potential risks are. As it turned out, my home birth was fantastic, but I'm still not sure I could plan to have one. If I was going to have another baby I might tell them I wanted a home birth so we had things ready, but still plan to get to the hospital if I could. If you've had an easy and straightforward first birth, then according to population statistics you should be pretty safe going for a home birth, but...if you're one of the very tiny number of people who have a major complication, however close you live to the hospital you would be too far away - and that, for me, makes it a very hard decision to make. I think choosing a home birth for your first is madness, but I'm sure there are people out there who have successful ones. Like lots of things it's about balancing risks, and we all see those risks differently, so I think you have to make the decision that's right for you, but based on accurate information rather than hearsay - and obviously be happy with your decision, as CM says.

I've been watching OBEM too. My husband claims to hate it, but if he ever watches any of it he's always got a tear in his eye when the babies are born - he's a real softy!
11/01/2013 at 18:29

I planned to have a homebirth first time round and was greeted with a multitude of "you're mad" reactions, but the midwives all encourage homebirths.  I was worried about something going wrong and in the end I did have to go in an ambulance while fully dilated, but that was because the useless midwives thought Sophie was breech when she wasn't.  In the end though, I think I got the best of both worlds - lovely relaxed labour at home in a pool then the messy bit and stitches in hospital!

With Nicky, hubby didn't want another homebirth (not his choice, I always thought ) but also I didn't want Sophie to see me writhing in agony or anything and thought it easier to just go to hospital.  I really didn't like labouring in hospital though - I felt very self-conscious (silly I know) and not relaxed.

So I'm not sure what I'd advise - I think if your pregnancy has been risk-free then go for the home birth.  After all, you're only 15 mins from the hospital (as I was).  I think every birth has a risk but the midwives and other staff seem very well prepared for every eventuality.  My friend has had both her girls at home and I do envy her!

Sorry for the waffle - hope it makes sense!

11/01/2013 at 18:31

I have a question for you knowledgeable girls too - as I am working part-time now, do I need to inform CHB people?  And Child Tax Credits which I no longer qualify for?  Working Tax Credits? I have no idea how you even qualify for these things!

11/01/2013 at 19:57

Right, I think I have decided I will go to the birthing centre... then all being well I can go home same day... I have the same kind of thinking as you Vixo. Will discuss with hubby anyway. Thanks for everyones thoughts on the subject. I am NOT watching OBEM at the moment...

I can't believe how some people don't know they are pregnant and it fascinates me too CM. When I was booking my presentation scan in the hospital a afro/caribbean lady came in asking for a scan...she was quite clearly about 6 months pregnant and had not had a scan before and had no idea how far along she was... not that I was listening or anything! Crazy. It's those people who say, "well I thought I had a tummy ache and out popped a baby" WHHAAT?!

11/01/2013 at 20:09

for me the choice was a bit easier because i definitely did NOT want to go into the gwent (our local hospital). JT will understand why... that is why i chose the birthing centre in caerphilly - which was actually a very long way from where i lived at the time. it was at least a 30 min drive, and also a similar transfer from there to hospital (no hospital attached to birthing centre) as JT will know. she was bluelighted from caerphilly with Ted.

the second time round it made absolutely no sense to go back to caerphilly because of the length of the drive to get there and the fact that we would need to sort childcare for J. i was simply too worried that, by the time we had found someone to have J if it was the middle of the night, we wouldn't make it to caerphilly. so that swayed my decision to try for a home birth. we could have J at home with us until i really couldn't cope any longer which gave us time to sort out someone to have him. in the event, E arrived at 11am on a saturday morning so the timing was perfect. he went to his friend's house down the lane at about 9.30am and came home again at 1. and if i had to be blue-lighted in, it's only a 10-15 min transfer to hospital, less than from the birthing centre.

anyway, i think you have to go with what your gut says about these things. for me it wasn't so much about the idea of having a hippy home birth. it was more the practicality and not wanting to be pushing in the car!!

just survived bootcamp. lungs weren't brilliant but i seem to have recovered. but oh my actual good god - what a workout that is!!

11/01/2013 at 20:40

Ooh the blue light from Caerphilly... Not something I'd want to do again!  It's amazing how much quicker you can make an ambulance driver go when you start shouting 'Are we only in bl00dy Machen?!'.  That said, we made the Gwent in 15 minutes CM

Anj - you have to be comfortable with whatever you choose, something that puts me off having another baby is having to go to the Gwent, I chose Cardiff purposely for Archie.  I shouldn't have ended up in the Gwent with Ted but they were full, aaggghhhh!

Cm - is it worth taking the blue inhaler around 15-20 minutes before exercise?  That's what is recommended for exercise induced asthma, so may help?  Just be careful going too hard when you're still grotty!

CC - skiing sounds fab... Would so like to go again... My skis are in the loft looking very unloved!

Rah, can't remember rest, must read back again!

11/01/2013 at 20:47

Caro - boo to the job .  That is so annoying.  Don't blame you for not wanting to take a pay cut!  I suppose that's where teaching is handy, once you get to a certain point, you stay there.  Always people being promoted who shouldn't though!

CM - Cardiff job could be interesting.  There may be more flexibility than you think.  A number of parents of children I've taught have worked at the uni and frequently turn up (ie weekly at least!) to drop/pick children up from school.  Shame the train station is the opposite side of town...

Also - glad you've laid it on the line with N.  You needed to do it for your own sanity.

Good luck MM and C for the weekend!

Tired tonight, but have lost some weight this week so not feeling so lardy.  Lungs up and down, nowhere near where the consultant wants, so I fear the worst in a couple of weeks .  Really, really don't want to be on systolic steroids long term, but I know they work.  It's funny, when I talk to people about all this who aren't medical, they all do an eek to the potential weight gain, that's the least of my worries tbh, it's the rest of the side effects that concern me!

11/01/2013 at 20:48
Busy, busy on here
Home births - wouldnt with a first, wanted to with Tom but got polyhydramnios (too much liquor) & so had to go to hosp and ended up with a cs so no choice with Archie (who was induced as no liquor so would have been hosp anyway). I think if you live within spitting distance then go for it and midwives can bring most things they have in a birth centre.
boot camp - Ooch sounds tough, well done CM.
24 hr strathpuffer - RF i am praying for good weather for you (is it same weekend as my tough guy? 27th Jan?)
Jobs - eek to being offered less than before. Thankfully I have only dropped when reducing hours or I would be seriously miffed. guess they have to decide whether to risk losing you though Caro so it ain't over yet!
Child tax credits etc - I would tell anyone that was giving me anything if I had ANY changes! I doubt we will get anything from April as hubby going back on the books so will earn more (on paper) than now where he is self employed so claims all his expenses. We still get child benefit too although I am sure as a household we have more than some that are losing out now.
yippee to nice runs -CC yours sounded particularly nice today, watching OBEM & other trash (JJ all the way here!!), dining for 2 and well behaved kids.
Boo to hubby's going out, carp foggy weather, continued lurgy and upset kids ((cm))
I looked at the first schedules and figured if I can get 3 runs a week (speed, tempo and long) I will be happy. Did nearly 8 earlier in 8:42mm ave but that included a 7:22 mile in the middle to see how fast I could do one!
Also baked a gorgeous chilli chocolate cake - well worth a try for those un'delia ones among us
250g plain flour, 350g dem sugar, 65g cocoa powder, 1tsp baking powder, 1 tsp salt, 250ml water, 10g Tabasco sauce (I used 6), 240ml ext virg olive oil, 1 tsp vanilla paste (I used essence), 100g rough chopped dark choc (I used white).
Mix together and chuck in 20cm round tin (I used 2 loaf tins!), bake at 180/ gas 4 for 45mins or until top is no longer shiny. can eat when still warm as middle still soft and gooey.....yum yum although am going to try without Tabasco as Tom wasn't impressed with spicey tongue!
11/01/2013 at 20:50

systemic even!

11/01/2013 at 20:55
JT - I don't have an inhaler. Gp said lungs were normal. They are when I do nowt. Anyway - they have recovered well tonight which is the main thing. I can stand wheeziness at the time if it doesn't hang around all day making me cough and heave!

Hope consultant has good news for you JT. Fingers crossed x

Cake sounds yum and simple Camlo. And blinding run!!
11/01/2013 at 20:57
Xposts JT, I guess taking the steroids long term will bring unpleasant stuff along with the necessary benefits but then how long is long term? Not forever? You can monitor side effects and weight gain shouldn't be an issue if taking them means you can run again?
I know what you mean about people working 9-5 but appearing at school..... I drop off at 9 at least once a week and have picked up twice this week as I often have to work hours in the evening/ wkend. Swings and roundabouts. I would struggle with a job that didn't have flexibility with Archie!
11/01/2013 at 22:07
You'd have a nightmare without flexibility Camlo! I think we're talking several months at least from what was said. It's not the weight gain that worries me, that can be controlled, it's the resistance to infection, mood swings, lack of sleep... Hoo hum! It's a means to an end hopefully!
11/01/2013 at 22:22

We certainly havent had any kind of correspondence about child benefit but we are fine by a long margin.  

Nice M and S meal, bottle of wine, toblerone.....and then a fine old time watching 16 kids and counting!  What the girls get up to when the boys go out.

Am sitting here looking at a cd of hubby's back MRI scan on the computer.  He picked up the disc from the GP today to take to his appt.  However our friends staying with us tonight are medical sales people, and the husband is a sales rep for spinal surgery implants so is very knowledgeable about the treatment and who is best to give it.  So he is going to copy the image (and the protruding disc and corresponding nerve compression are very obvious) and show it to some surgeon friends of his and hopefully get hubby on the waiting list.  If neccesary we can pay to go private, he reckons if surgery was required it could be 2-3k which is manageable, and not really any more than a dog going to a specialist referral centre and having spinal surgery!  But hopefully it wont come to that.

Job e mailed me one last time to say they have decided not to hire a part time vet anymore at the moment - maybe that's because they figured out that to get anyone half decent they'd actually have to pay them a half decent salary.  Grrrr.

11/01/2013 at 22:40

Oh that's an arse Caro - what a complete waste of your time

Do you pay £12 for a pilates class - wow!

Oh goodness, so much to check back on I can't tonight but great to hear that CM seems to have working lungs again.

Camlo - I find the FIRST schedules great for focussing on quality session and then if anything else can fit in during the week I made it an easy run of whatever distance fitted. Nice speedy rep in the middle there. Chilli choc cake sounds yummy, recipe please ...

OBEM is compulsive viewing, hubby always asks me why I'm watching 'not like you want any more is it?' - erm no, but there is just something about that program ... and then he kinds of hangs around with half an ear to it!!! Haven't watched it for a while though.

Will read properly tomorrow

11/01/2013 at 23:06
Just putting some stuff away in E's room and found a stash of chocolate (from christmas) in her bedside table drawer. Haha. Not only that but she has eaten one finger of a kitkat. One finger?!?! How can she be related to me?! There is also an open bag of Choc buttons. Is there something wrong with her?
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