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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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14/08/2014 at 14:55


Hello all and thank you for everyone's good wishes. Wow, that was a shock!!  I was sooooo convinced it was a boy that I don't think either of us quite believe it still.    I guess I posted about the contractions through the night ('good at sharing' or TMI ). At about 2:00am I called the doctor as they were getting stronger and closer together and she said to go on in to the hospital. One of my lovely friends had offered to come and look after the boys if we needed to go in the night so I called her and she came straight over. Max was awake and he was lovely, gave her a hug and kiss when she arrived and didn't make any fuss when we left. I must buy her something nice to say thankyou.    They hooked me up and the contractions were coming strong but I was not dilated at all. They kept monitoring me and my blood pressure kept spiking high so they tested my blood for signs of pre eclampsia. I did have some signs of it but they didn't actually call it as pre e but booked me in for the delivery. So she came along at about 9:30 yesterday morning.    The surgery was not pleasant. I think there was a lot of scar tissue from previous surgeries and I could feel so much tugging and pulling that I freaked out a bit. Also started to feel some pain before they were done so got some extra pain killers from the anesthetist.    The doctor didn't actually declare her gender, just held her up for Mr TT to see. He just looked over the screen and said 'oh my goodness' so I was none the wiser. Both still in shock!!   She has done well though. It's about 24 hours later now and I have made my first trip out of bed to the bathroom and am keen to get moving for discharge tomorrow rather than Saturday.    Luckily we had a name in mind which was all the way from before we knew Max was a boy. Fay Maria. Maria was my Gran's middle name. She passed away around the same time Max was conceived and I've wanted to take something from her name ever since as she was a lovely lady.    Fay is doing well. Am supplementing breast milk with formula as her blood sugars dipped between feeds on just breast milk.    She is stirring now and probably wanting some food so had better get her some.    Oh yes, statistics. 6lb 14oz, 20" tall so my smallest yet!  I think she's going to take after me more than the boys who are both mini-Martins. 
14/08/2014 at 16:46

wow TTid. you went through it a bit there. sounds like it was a bit grim, so I hope you recover ok. and how lovely to give her something of your Gran's name too. I love the name Maria. (Big Sound of Music fan here!)

i'm having a surprisingly good week. just went through the foyer to the toilet and got talking to my boss's PA. not really talked to her before much. she is HILARIOUS and totally cracked me up. she's divorced too, with 2 kids (12, and 11) and the girl is a nightmare apparently. but she's one of those feisty women that just make me laugh by the way they talked. I was cracked up. she's highly irreverent about her ex-husband too. they go on holiday together, which is amazing - with the kids obviously. but the way she talks about him is so funny. and it makes me remember that I've got to stop agonising over everything. my situation isn't than unusual and it's no good being all uptight about it. wow - i'm sounding way too upbeat.

i'm going to get wet thru to my pants again in a minute. went out at lunchtime for milk and got caught in massive thunderstorm. have spent all afternoon sitting on now wet chair. just dried out (although shoes still wet) and it's thundering again and nearly time to head home!

14/08/2014 at 17:19

Well done TT, sounds like Fay is doing well, I love the name too, Maria was on our list if we had had another girl!  Hope you get home soon.

CM - glad you have had a more upbeat end to the week!

14/08/2014 at 21:23

 Yay TT brill news. Lovely name, enjoy you wee lass.

CM - glad your having a better week. Nice you can off load to people that understand your position.

forget to tell you that we have been treating the girls for nits this summer for the first time and now worms, gross. I have been having a meltdown. How minging. Feel disgusting. Spent a small fortune on treatments.


14/08/2014 at 22:21

Wow sounds a bit unpleasant ttid (understatement!). Fay is absolutely beautiful! Handy you had a name lined up!! You will be inundated with pink presents now I am sure!

CM glad your week has improved! Nice to have someone you will get on with at work - makes such a difference!

Hubby back late last night and no leg cramps last night either so am feeling much more human. Got some tablets from the midwife but don't know if it was them or drinking way more that helped - who cares if it works!

Ewww to nits and worms RF - dreading having to deal with that stuff!


14/08/2014 at 22:54
Wow so nice that everyone got good things happening. I was plodding along all happy thinking all good then Nat side swipes us today by announcing she has met a boy AARRGGHH. Not only that he's from London and goes to Uni in Oxford Aaarrgghh and he wants to come and meet us and she wants to go meet his parents aaaarrrggghhh seriously wtf. I know I am lucky my daughter is 18 b4 boys come on the scene but seriously could she not have picked someone closer to home instead of the other end of the country.
14/08/2014 at 23:04

Ohhh where did she meet him TT? Sounds like they are very sensible!!

14/08/2014 at 23:16

Yes Tt, where did they meet?  Eek sounds a bit formal and old fashioned. Hope he's not going to ask your permission for her hand in marriage!

Yuck to nits and worms RF, same here not looking forward to them. 

CM, that's great that you have found someone at work that you get on so well with, makes such a difference. 

Mr TT bringing boys to see us shortly so my currently peaceful haven about to get noisy. In fact I think I hear them coming down the corridor!!

14/08/2014 at 23:52

Hahaha ttid you will have Tt in panic mode if you suggest things like that!


15/08/2014 at 08:41
That's the even worse bit, they met on twitter. He came up on an overnight coach about a month ago and they spent the day in Glasgow at Kelvingrove, botanic gardens etc just to see if they still liked each other in person ( all behind my back). I knew she went into Glasgow for the day but thought it was with her friends, his Mum also knew he went to Glasgow for the day but not that it was to meet someone he knew on Twitter. Putting aside my reservations about fact they met on twitter, she is about to start Glasgow Uni, he is one yr into course at Oxford Uni, how they hell can they seriously b planning to have a 4 yr long distance relationship. As we know they r hard enough when u have a solid base to start from. Plus I am more than happy for him to come here but really not happy to send my 18 yr old daughter off dwn to London when I don't know who or where she is going to.
15/08/2014 at 09:13

It does seem to be the teenage way to meet. My niece's best friend is now a girl from the USA and they met on Instagram apparently. The American used to follow Chloe who goes by the name Hayley's hair!! So very alien to us but so natural to them. Whilst going to Glasgow to meet up was a little bit cheeky at least they did so sensibly and it sounds like they are trying to be sensible going forward too. Tho long distance at that age is never easy!! I'd be terrified in your position too. But she's told you, he sounds respectable and I guess you know as much about him as you do some bloke she met down the pub. Hugs though, v stressful! 


My my friend just had her third this morning too. - wee boy after two girls! cameron grant rose is his full name. He was born at 1.20am and she was home when she texted at 8.45! 

15/08/2014 at 09:44
Aw lots of new wee babies, gorgeous.

Yes Nat is very sensible and quite old fashioned I suppose and he seems happy to go along with her way of doing things or thinks the same way. I am just hoping she starts Uni and meets someone nearer.
15/08/2014 at 09:54

And so it starts, TT   But at least they both seem sensible - agree that going into Glasgow to meet him behind your back was a bit sneaky, but if she'd told you you wouldn't have allowed her to go, would you?  I wouldn't worry about it too much.  It's highly unlikely to last once she starts uni I'd have thought - there will be far too much going on and the prohibitive cost of travel will soon put the mockers on it.  Maybe if he comes to visit first you'll decide he's lovely (hopefully) and feel better about her going to London to see him?  All part of the 'letting go' process which we all hate/dread!

CM, you sounded so much more chipper yesterday - very pleased to hear that things are a bit better at work and you have someone you can offload to.  Very important!  Sorry to hear your holiday wasn't what you'd hoped for and expected, but I do agree with Hoggle that holidays can sometimes be that way simply because we expect far too much from them and almost feel under pressure to make them perfect when we have spent a lot of money on them and looked forward to them for many months.

CC, sorry to hear things are still not great and that you're having doubts.  I hope you are able to work it out - and whatever the outcome, find a way forward.  Big hugs.

TTid, love the name Fay and what a sweetie!  Nice to be able to name her after your grandmother as well.  Love the FB photo of all three of them; gorgeous.  Birth sounds a bit traumatic so hope your recovery is good.

Sonya, hope it isn't too long a wait for you now and pleased that you have some home security - that must be a weight off your mind.  Not great to be in limbo at your stage of pregnancy! Pip, hope there is some progress on the home front for you too.

Caro, hope you are feeling a bit better.  You are one amazing lady - so brave.  I can't believe you had the courage to have your head shaved; not sure I could do that, even if I knew I was going to lose my hair anyway.  You looked fab in your buff in the FB photo (was goi ng to say 'you looked fab in the buff' but realised that might sound a little odd!!)

We had a lovely holiday in Wales and even managed two weeks (almost) without rain.  Our accommodation in Pembrokeshire (Freshwater East) was great - about 150 metres from the beach - and we had barbecues on the beach three times (with varying degrees of success; keeping the bloody thing lit in the wind was a challenge!)  Weather was mainly dry and sunny although not always spectacularly warm but Kit was in the sea regardless.  I think if we do UK holidays more regularly we will all buy wetsuits; water was far too cold to be in for any length of time, and even if you got used to the water temperature the wind when you came out of the sea was offputting.  We explored some beautiful, unspoilt and often virtually empty beaches and little coves, went to Pembroke and Manorbier castles, spent a day at a water park and did some of the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path walk which was amazing.  Our second week was spent at the in-laws and we had one especially nice day at Aberdovey - it was hot and it's a lovely, old-fashioned seaside town and totally unspoilt, with a lovely big beach.  Being back at work sucks - and I can't believe there are only two more weeks left of the school holidays


15/08/2014 at 13:10

gulp TT. that's seriously scary! good job she's sensible. is she on the pill???

w4nky day here today. I have a cracking headache. think i'm getting a cold. and a sodding emeritus professor wandered into the Desk this morning with 2 brand new Macs in boxes which he had bought and asked us to configure them. he got really arsey when I said that wasn't what we did. but in the end, I got the guys to do it just because he was making such a fuss and I couldn't get hold of the team that should have done it (which I think was why he came here in the first place).

AND one of microsoft's smtp servers (which we use) is blacklisted because someone (not us) has been sending spam. and clearing can't send out emails to students. so there's a crisis around that now.

and my head hurts. waaaaah

15/08/2014 at 13:34
Welcome to the world of IT in higher education CM. I'm afraid after 10 years spent working in a university, I've lost all faith in the ability of our IT guys to be effective!

We get a similar problem with the blacklisting and our Head of IT's response is 'theres nothing we can do about it, you'll just have to suck it up. But if you really need to get in touch with the students you could could try writing to them?'. Erm... helpful, NOT!
15/08/2014 at 13:53

gah - at least it's not just us, then MR. not acceptable re the blacklisting. just spoke to head of mail team and he shrugged his shoulders. all v well for him to do that but we are the ones taking calls from users who can't work. they are nicely shielded from it.

my head hurts. lots. I have caffeine and paracetamol but what I really want is a sleep.

15/08/2014 at 14:47
No CM she's never even kissed a boy b4 so not bn an issue. Well apparently they have bn tweeting/txtin/skyping for over a yr. will have to find out exactly where he lives so u London girls can give me the low dwn on the area.
15/08/2014 at 17:23

How complicated TT that they will be so far apart, maybe he could do visits up to you so you can vet him??!  

CM - eek, that sounds ridiculous especially at this time of year.

Must get off my bum and do a run tomorrow.  All the rain means the garden needs constant attention too though.  And we have visitors this weekend.  Managed to get my hair cut today though which was long overdue!

15/08/2014 at 17:42
He is coming up to meet us in a few wks Kinsey. We should b old hat at all this as my stepson met his ex on World of Warcraft game and went over to the Netherlands to meet her after 2 yrs of chatting online. She then moved over here and they lived together for several yrs. They r still good friends, relationship wise it never really stood a chance as when they went to meet her Dad that 1st wkend he had committed suicide and they found him in a pool of blood and then her Mum was diagnosed with end stage Cancer a few months later and died a few months after. So not a great start to a relationship, poor girl.
15/08/2014 at 17:50

OMG Tt, that's a terrible story about the girl. I was going to say how odd to start a relationship like that online but I guess we can't really comment!  I know more about a lot of you than I do the people I have met since we moved here and definitely share more with you than a lot of my 'real' friends!  Also now that quite a lot of us have met up now I guess it can lead to some good solid long term friendships. 

CM, not a good time of year for your systems to be up the creek. 

Hoping to go home today, despite quite a lot of pain at incision still. Looking hopeful though. 

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