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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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PG3
18/01/2015 at 06:53

Just quick post as on tablet with battery about to die. The fax sent on wed still hasn't turned up at the mortgage company and the people at the top of the chain were threatening to move completion to out of schools application date so my only choice was to get my hands on 35k in the space of 2 hours on Fri morning so we could exchange. I won't go into details as my solicitor would only exchange if I could declare it was all my own money and not borrowed! Hmmmm anyway it worked. That fax needs to turn up.

Hope everyone OK tablet about to die

18/01/2015 at 12:14
Am astounded by incompetence of your solicitor. Assuming it is him who has mislaid the fax.

I am struggling massively. Have deactivated FB as can't cope with that. I can scarcely breathe with anxiety and haven't eaten for 2 days as I feel so sick. I cannot imagine how I am going to cope with whatever i need to deal with over the water situation. I have no money to pay for anything. I am worried I will end up having to borrow to get it fixed then sell. As I will then lose my equity I won't be able to buy again.
18/01/2015 at 15:18

CM ((())) Credit card?  Is there any way of contacting the water company explaining the situation and trying to set up a payment plan of some sort?? I'm not sure if that's even an option for you.  You MUST eat though, you will only feel worse if you don't.  Easier said that done I know, but stick to food you fancy or just soup or something light.  I remember my mum getting a letter from the Housing Benefit people when I was a teenager, saying they'd been overpaying her and she had to pay back £800, and her crying on the sofa (my mum never cries).  There will be people/charities out there who can help you if you really can't afford it. xxx

18/01/2015 at 18:55

Oh CM. thats awful. Echo what JG said. I'm sure there is something that can be done. But I can only imagine how stressful it is. Money stresses are up there with the most awful upsetting situations there are. But yes, take care of yourself. Have you got anyone you can talk to about it? What about N? 

18/01/2015 at 19:00

Oh and hugs too PG3. House moves are nail bitingly awful! Hope it all goes smoothly from now on. 

18/01/2015 at 21:02

Doesn't the water company bear some responsibility for leaving it over 6 months?  Presumably they watched your usage go up and didn't tell you?  I know similar happened to my dad but my dad checks his meters all the time so he noticed it going up and then the leak was found.  Not sure who paid for it to be fixed or whose responsibility it was though.  Hope you can talk to someone sensible about it and find a solution.

Had a lovely wk end in York.  Did parkrun yesterday and somehow came 2nd lady in 21.14 - I think I shall start saying PCPB - post cancer PB!  I think I'm allowed to reset the clock  404 runners, incl our friend we were staying with and their 9 yr old, neither of whom had ever done it before.  They only live a short walk from the course so I hope they'll do it again.

Am trying to be organised for going back to work (still not heard from boss but meant to be going back in 2 wks).  Went shopping for work clothes, found nothing, so ordered shoes and cords online - both too big!  Getting annoyed now.  I really like cords but there dont seem to be many in the shops - anyone know good place to buy them.?

18/01/2015 at 21:14
The metre only went in in April last year. Between April and June I was using about 40 quid of water a month - which seems quite high to me. But anyway ... From June to december I used 950 quids worth which is obviously much higher. I don't know when the leak started. I can't even lift the flap up to read the metre so I haven't been reading it obviously. I don't know if they did any interim reading between June and December. If they did you would have thought they should have alterted me but maybe because I was new on a metre they thought my usage was random or something. If I hadn't had the metre put in I don't suppose this would have been found at this point. There is no water obvious anywhere and as you know Caro - my drive is steep so if the water was running down under the drive you would have thought it would be pooling at the motto
By the house and it's not.

Nick isn't here this week and is away next weekend so have no company or sounding board. Work is hellishly busy and stressful. I have eaten tonight tho. I have felt so sick all day and beyond stressed. Told one of the mums at. Party this afternoon but she knew of someone who had to pay ??7k to get theirs fixed so that wasn't much help really.

As for credit cards - I probably could get one but how would I pay it off? I have no spare cash to make repayments.
18/01/2015 at 21:15
Can't help re cords. I buy all my clothes in the sales in Tesco. Every last piece...
18/01/2015 at 23:11

One handed typing while I rock the pram so excuse any typo's!! Unsettled baby today 

CM I am glad you have eaten something tonight. Your situation sounds so stressful - no advice just virtual hugs. I am back at the dentist tomorrow and looking at both a horrendous bill and the possibility of a tooth extraction - second to back upper molar. Although it is significantly cheaper than a root canal, you would be able to see it when I smile (I had my very back molars removed when I was a teenager as my mouth was cramped so its further forward than usual). Trying not to get stressed about it - which is working some of the time. Probably more stressful is that regardless of what they do I will need 4+ appointments - umm I have a 1 month old baby so working that in will be a nightmare!! On Friday I had to take both girls and thankfully they were very good and I will time all others for when M is at daycare but all it will take is Freya to wake and need a feed and scream the clinic down and I will lose the patience of the receptionist!! Mum has offered to lend us the money which we will need to do as we are soon to be one income (Maternity pay here is dire!) but it still means another X thousand dollars that we wont save this year - sigh!! Am sticking my head completely in the sand re. hubbys job. The implications of him losing his job are too much for me to get my head round!! I feel like we are constantly being unlucky with financial related stuff but am trying to focus on how lucky we are in other areas to avoid descending into woe as me territory!!

Had a nice weekend, strawberry picking on saturday with a group of friends and a barbecue yesterday. My brother was up as he went diving with a friend and dropped off a crayfish (basically a lobster) so that was fab on the bbq!

Mum is coming up for a night this week - can't wait!! 

Will be useless at name-checking - I read on my phone but as it always logs me out I never quite get round to posting! CC I am so looking forward to reading your report. Gutted for you that things outside of your control meant you couldn't finish - I was tracking you avidly from the other side of the world - you pretty much had 24 hour online support between us all I think!! 

On FB today it looks like there are some great budding runners amongst the running mums children - hardly surprising really!!

I have bought a whiteboard to keep track of all the jobs I should be doing so really should get off here and do something as I am fairly sure 'mucking round on the internet' is not listed on there!!!

 

19/01/2015 at 00:18

I would be the world's best housewife if mucking about on the internet was on my daily to do list 

Boo to tooth removal - not nice!  Having a gap probably won't be as obvious as you think - people tend to look at you head on when you're smiling.  Rubbish having to pay out so much for it though!

CM - glad you have eaten .

Caro - I found some cords in the Debenhams sale I think?  Bought a cord skirt from Asda the other day so they might have some?

Must get to bed.  Stressing about this stupid Maths I've got to teach tomorrow - apparently they've been put in for an exam at the end of Jan but no-one knows who or what level!!

19/01/2015 at 08:17

tooth removal sounds awful, hoggle. a lot of my anxieties are financial - and a lot of the reason I cannot imagine a long term relationship with N is to do with finances. I have an absolute fear of not being able to cope financially. it's my worst nightmare. I feel it even more now I am on my own with no backstop and no-one I could go to to ask for assistance. my worst case scenario is losing my house because I can't afford my mortgage, and that is a very real possibility if this water situation ends up costing so much I need to borrow more and then can't afford the repayments.

I have tried to get to work this morning and failed. the lane to the bypass was blocked by a gritting lorry which was preventing people from getting onto the lane - presumably deliberately. the other route which is much longer and involves going all round the houses to get to the motorway was blocked with a massive smash - and all the cars which had been turned around from the lane were stuck in that queue.  I abandoned getting to work and have come home. i'll try again later. I am so anxious I can't even stand the idea of work today but I know I have to do it. I'm on the brink of tears the whole time and can barely breathe. I haven't been sleeping either. i'm basically shutting out everything but the essential stuff so I can function which is what I have to do when anxiety / depression hits. I need to phone the insurance company about the internal leak but I can barely function enough to do that and am panicking every time I think about it.

19/01/2015 at 08:39

Right CM you need to think of this like someone else's problem and take your anxiety out. If work installed a new system which worked ok for 2 months but then crashed you would not be accepting it! Phone work and tell them you cant get in then phone water board and insist they come and remedy this immediately at their cost otherwise you will seek legal advice.... (EF will tell us if thats ok). 

19/01/2015 at 12:08

took deep breath and called insurers about leak inside house. excess for water damage is £600 so there is no point going through insurers for inside as i can get someone to do the floor for me for much less money than that. that doesn't even cover fixing the leak; just the repair to the floor and putting new floor down.

so now i also know that if i do have any cover at all from the insurers for the external leak, i have a £600 excess to find... it's still most likely that none of that will be covered. especially if it was caused either by Welsh Water putting the meter in; or the drainage works i had done last year (as they don't cover if someone else damages it while doing work).

i just had to chair a meeting of the whole department and i literally cannot think straight. i had no idea what agenda item we were on or what we were talking about.

19/01/2015 at 18:15

Who's your insurer CM? I'm amazed that they say it's not covered. Do you have accidental damage cover? I really hope so. Normally they would pay to fix it and then they sue the entity who caused the damage as a subrogated claim. If it was definitely caused by either of those people then you need to sue them yourself if insurer won't do it. And if insurer does cover it you make sure they include your excess When they sue. Phone insurers again once you know the likely cause. Read your policy document really carefully and Argue with the insurer. Demand a manager reviews it. 

Turning to additional funding. Ok you're not going to get an amazing rate but spread over mortgage term you'd be surprised how little it amounts to. I got £7k for £13 a month. who is mortgage with? You have a financial advisor don't you? Does he do mortgages? Ask about a green loan onto mortgage. At the end of the day you are stopping a leak so that's environmentally friendly And they are usually discounted rates.   The mortgage co have a massive interest in protecting your property. 

and breathe. And eat! Also remember you do have outlays which you can stop if you had to. Does tony pay for the kids activities or is it all you? It's shit and you don't want to do it but if they have to stop a couple if activities to avoid you selling then you have to do that. 

please don't think I'm unsympathetic cos I am. I'd be up to high doe over it too but there are solutions there and arguing with your insurer is absolutely the first one and then it's suing the twonks who did it. I did also look up the consumer council for water stuff in wales and they suggested that usually they do fix for free at least once. So get that done and then get an all singing and dancing home policy. There are names on the conSumer council website and there's also the CAB. You must take advice. They can help you and chances are they may have had to help others in similar situations so may know some answers. 

 

Huge hugs. Xx on phone excuse tyPing. 

19/01/2015 at 18:17

By saying there are names I was meaning so you can email them and ask for help even if it's just who is the right person or body to speak to about this. 

19/01/2015 at 18:30

They might not cover the fixing of it but they should cover any incidental Damage. you must get a copy of your policy doc and scrutinise it And see how you can bring it into scope. Do you have legal expenses cover? That would help you bring the claim. I have it tagged onto home ins rather than motor. 

 

Sorry again to sound so hard - am just a solution focused kind of person. (())

19/01/2015 at 18:45

Ps after tomorrow once you know more let me know what the chat is re who caused, what damage is caused by it, what is needed to fix it and I will speak to a pal who does property damage recoveries. 

19/01/2015 at 18:47

For insurers 

19/01/2015 at 18:54

I make that max £600 for inside and max £600 excess for outside although i would be arguing it is one claim.... You say they wont cover someone elses damage but in that case the damager will pay so its £600 or nothing? 

 

19/01/2015 at 19:31

What does Citizens Advice do??  Can they advise?

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