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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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22/01/2015 at 11:20
Remind urself u only feel that way bcos of what was said to u as a child, look at urself as if u were ur daughter and how u would want her to b feeling about herself. The good thing about things like yoga is u r purely treating the body to start with, the benefits to the mind R purely a side effect of that. There is some very interesting research going on re depression being a physical illness caused by inflammation in the body caused by stress & modern living as well as other factors. So physical treatments that help to reduce stress & inflammation can b hugely beneficial.
22/01/2015 at 11:41

interesting as i'm currently suffering symptoms of inflammation - pain all over my body and high spiking temperatures. feels a bit like flu. nothing physically wrong - at least nothing that they can detect. but it only comes on when i'm stressed out of my tree or wrung out or totally knackered or haven't eaten. so i think it's when my body is suffering stress. i never feel like i lose this mantle of anxiety and if i feel like that, it must be causing my body some damage too. i've got a patch on the inside of my wrist, feels like a tendon. that swells up and is hot to touch as well when i'm anxious. it's bloody freaky. feel like some kind of ancient person with loads of ailments. i'm not actually anxious about the pain etc - it's annoying but that in itself doesn't stress me out. i don't even bother taking painkillers usually. but i'm sure it's stress / anxiety related.

22/01/2015 at 11:43

and if this were E, i would scoop her up in a big big hug and never let her go. and now i'm crying again...

22/01/2015 at 12:33
You have every right to cry CM, cry for that little girl who should hav bn scooped up and given a big hug and loved unconditionally. Then resolve to do everything u can to love that girl and make her better. U have managed to find within urself a loving Mum who has done so many loving and wonderful things for her kids. U CAN do the same for yourself. Every human being deserves to b loved and nurtured. And it's a shameful indictment on our world that they r not.

My lovely running buddy also suffers from flare ups of arthritis type symptoms when she is stressed and working too much. The body can only take so much punishment and it will force u to slow dwn & rest if it has to.
22/01/2015 at 12:47
Was an article in The Guardian: Is depression a kind of allergic reaction?
22/01/2015 at 13:47

i read that article Tt!

ah you've made me cry again. wfh today (rare thing) and have just been out for a daytime run of 6 miles. read your post and burst into tears again. off to the dentist this pm - which is partly why i'm at home - so it's time to pull myself together and stop snivelling!

22/01/2015 at 20:52

Well CM, funnily enough I almost posted the link to this website I'm finding helpful at the moment yesterday, but decided I wouldn't as I'm in no position to preach to anyone about how to manage stress, mood etc.  But I do know that I'm really enjoying all the research I'm doing, books I'm reading, meditation, taking time for myself for a change.  I'm not coming from a 'I've been given a 2nd chance so my life has to better after this' place, that is way too corny and simple.  But I have been introduced to a lot of new ideas and ways of thinking.  As you know I am finding the art therapy amazingly helpful - I really cannot believe they are still letting me go as you're only meant to go for 6 sessions and I've probably had about 20!  But she checked with her supervisor and it's fine, but I realise it can't go on forever.  The psychology seminars the hospital put on were really good too. 

So the website I'm referring to is http://www.self-compassion.org/  

I also have read and enjoyed a book called Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, and am currently reading 10% Happier by Dan Harris which my sister gave me for xmas.  Kristin Neff, the lady with the self compassion website has a lot of youtube talks as well that I watch from time to time.  When my art therapist first mentioned self kindness and mindfulness a few months ago I had no idea what she meant.  She hasn't pushed either idea, all she did was mention them and I have been curious and gone away and done the research, and am continuing to do so.  And I was the total sceptic before I started....

Hoggle, I am so sorry about your husband.  That really sucks and I hope something comes his way soon.

PG3, before you came on the site I think I was in a job I hated.  I used to moan on here ALOT!!  When I did finally leave, after 7 long years, it was like such a huge wt had been lifted off my shoulders.  I didn't have a new job to go to, and was on my 2nd maternity leave at the time, but had had enough.  I really should have done it sooner.......

22/01/2015 at 20:53

Going to see in laws tomorrow and take M in L out to lunch.  Kind of dreading it really.

PG3
23/01/2015 at 06:04

Good luck Caro.

Cm I so feel for you. Firstly let me say in your situation, I would be 100% the same. I have a tendency to spiral out of control when things are stressful. You do need to try something as it sounds like you are in a really bad place. If you are really anxious then reading might not help now but maybe try watching some you tube clips on mindfulness might help. Once you can start to think a little clearer, I would definitely do some reading.  Massive hug.

 

Re my work, I am taking action in a few different ways. I can only see it ending with me leaving. 

On the plus side, hubby is being great

Can't believe I move on Thursday!! Arghh

I also realized its nearly Feb. I have a marathon in April. I have been running and roughly following my plan although I have adapted it as 5x a week was too much. I am struggling mentally with running though with everything going on and then I feel worse as I feel I am not on top of my game for running. I guess I am used to being so focused on big races and I just can't be right now. I know I need to give myself a break on this one and just do what I can.

 

 

PG3
23/01/2015 at 06:08

Hoggle I hope you are OK too. Sounds rubbish. Big hug

Cc are you having post big race blues? I know its commonly talked about in triathlon, you focus so hard on a race that afterwards you can feel quite lost. Usually medicated by entering something else! I hope you are OK with hubby being away. Stay warm!

 

23/01/2015 at 06:33

Sending some more big hugs.  

CM - yoga might just help as some time out, although personally I think having the right teacher is important.  Classes can be totally different with some focusing a lot more on the meditation side and others on the physical movements.  We used to have to try and headstand for 2 minutes - great for concentration if nothing else!!!  Taking the time to just lie flat on your back at the beginning of class and concentrate on breathing is also something that makes you a lot more aware of what your body is doing. xx

CC - hope things are ok with you and there is light at the end of the tunnel - hope your pilates classes are going well too.  Looking forward to the race report when its ready.

Pip - good luck for the move!

Caro - hope lunch goes ok.  Liking your links on FB, always good to do some thinking and change perspective, I def get stuck in a rut!

I'm doing the high fat diet from The Times the other week, have had no refined sugar at all since I started but went to a friends and had soup with bread as I didn't want to stress her out with my meat and fat requirements!!!  Another week to go and the weight is shifting, no starchy carbs at all, no fruit, not much veg, am surprising myself I'm sticking to it but as I'd already given up booze for the month I thought I'd see what it was like.

23/01/2015 at 08:35

oh my god kinsey - what are you eating?? i can't imagine a meat based diet as i really don't like it. and not much veg?? i can manage without fruit but i can't imagine i would poo ever if i didn't eat veg

pg3 - glad hubby is being better.

and thanks caro for the link. i have been on that website before. i just don't feel like i can connect with any of that stuff i read. my mind just disappears off and it all becomes blank. don't know what's going on really. i do need to do something though - i am getting to the point where it's seriously affecting my life and starting to affect the way i am with the kids. i have cried so much while they've been around recently. and that's not good.

23/01/2015 at 09:48

Yup your diet made me feel ill just reading about it Kinsey  

I think the reason I am suddenly connecting with all this stuff CM is I have realised I don't want to change my life.  I don't want to change my kids, family, house, job, friends.  What I want to do is experience the life I already have in a better, more productive, less stressful way.  I realise now that that is possible, by changing the way I view things, changing my perspective.   I showed the poem I wrote and posted on the FB site to my art therapist and she interpreted it by saying that the 'me' I wanted to see when I finally looked in the mirror again having forgotten all the cancer sh*t was not the 'me' I saw before all this happened.  I hadn't viewed it like that but I think she is right.  

The 10% happier book is good because the guy is a total workaholic, adrenaline junkie, stress head (he's a famous american journalist/news person) who is a complete sceptic who openly admits that if you'd told him x yrs ago that he'd turn into a more mindful person that believed in meditation he would have choked on his beer in a bar!  He had a total breakdown, and that's when he came to the realisation something had to give.  But he is just a normal guy, who I think we can all relate to in some ways.

I am enjoying it all so much I am barely watching any telly, as I'd rather read or watch youtube videos.  I never used to watch a lot of telly anyway, but now it's next to none.  

Ran 6 miles at 8am in 0C!  Brrrrr.  Am doing a 10k on Sunday in Hyde Park and am wondering how the hell I'm going to stay warm after I've dropped all my kit at the bag drop......

23/01/2015 at 10:14
Sounds like you are reading some really interesting stuff Caro.
I'm glad they're letting you continue art therapy - I guess if it's clearly helping then there's no reason to not let you. I'm sure there are plenty of people who do only one or two of their 'allotted' sessions.

CM - nothinh to add to the good advice above just lots of hugs.

TT I've started that 4,7,8 breathing technique - it's amazing (well abut hard to tell how much is exhaustion!). I definitely don't need to be awake mulling over things at the moment!
Thanks for all your kind comments the other day - I was feeling so horribly lost. Still deeply worried about everything but a couple of days in the sunshine focused on the kids has helped with perspective. Have agreed on a couple of things with hubby - he is going to put strategies in place to make sure he doesn't end up as grumpy and unpleasant as he did last time and I'm not going to try and 'solve' this - as long as he communicates with me about how things are going re. Job hunt etc I'm going to leave him to it(cause of many arguments last time). We're lucky we have great support from my family - just sucks that we have to rely on it again.
We're having some incredible weather at the moment so no doubt will be more time at the beach tomorrow - life ain't all bad!!
23/01/2015 at 10:32

My sister is currently involved in research helping American Iraq war veterans with PTSD using yoga breathing techniques.  She posted a youtube video about it last night.  The old me would probably have dismissed it out of hand......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6_k1QfPYq4&app=desktop

The thing I like about all the stuff I am looking into is it is all based on years of research, at highly respected universities by very intelligent people.  It's not just a bunch of hippies saying it helped me so it can help you too.

Right, cannot delay departing for the in laws any longer...........

 

23/01/2015 at 11:22

Well i can have leafy greens with lunch and dinner but only 60-70g, I have had a bit more to be honest.  Feels v wrong.  My digestion has not adapted yet, only a week to go though.  As you don't eat carbs/sugar its meant to kick start burning the fat you have laid down especially around the middle and yes it does seem to be working.

I had egg, halloumi, cream cheese and walnuts for breakfast.  Think I might finish the halloumi at lunchtime with some salad, nuts and boursin.  Then dinner will be salmon, spinach and sour cream.  No snacks allowed.  No milk in tea or coffee either.

Ah Hoggle good that you are talking and have a plan, am hoping so much that its short term.  Plus you want to be able to enjoy the maternity leave a bit xxx

Glad they are letting you continue with the art Caro and that its helping you.  My friend is starting chemo again and her positive attitude is amazing, just so crap she is having to do it all again.

23/01/2015 at 11:41
Well my mindful approach is being severely tested at the moment. The M11 is closed and I am stuck! Won't make it to the in laws and am wondering how long i'm going to be stuck here!
23/01/2015 at 11:55

kinsey - that sounds heavy going. i like halloumi and greens and nuts. but i wouldn't want cream cheese / sour cream etc with it all. salmon and spinach sounds nice though. i'm finding i'm better off NOT eating carbs with a meal. so a veg soup without bread and i'm not hungry. veg soup and bread and i am then hungry. weird...

caro - i must do some more youtubeing of these things. i tried the 4 - 7  - 8 breathing last night and thought - well, that was crap. didn't work. useless rubbish. like all these things. and then the next thing i know it was 5.45am and the cat jumped on my head.

i am utterly exhausted though. proper on my knees tired. don't really know why. i'm eating better than i have probably ever. i'm not drinking any alcohol at all. day 23 now and am not missing it at all. and yet i wake every morning feeling like i've had no sleep. baaaaaah.

23/01/2015 at 11:56

argh caro. that sounds horrendous.

23/01/2015 at 13:12

Home!  2 hrs later and I have been nowhere.  and you know what - it really wasn't that bad.  and I'm not just saying that.  Normally I would have fumed in the car and prob would still be fuming now, but the only thing I feel is sad for my in laws, as they were looking forward to seeing me, and M in L wanted to escape the house for a bit.  So hopefully....next Friday we will try again! 

I am now eating a huge bowl of veg soup (cauliflower and spinach) and 2 large pieces of bread - this is after the bagel after my run and my cereal before my run.  I could never do low carb stuff. 

Ted talks as well as youtube CM.  There are some really good ones out there.  The thing you have to tell yourself is nothing is going to change overnight and that these things take practice.  You wouldn't expect yourself to be able to play grade 5 piano from scratch.......

The headspace ap is quite good - there are 10 free sessions, each 10 mins long.  I've done them a couple of times, but not subscribed.  I like the guy's voice

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