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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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28/01/2015 at 16:20

So it is now my turn to practice what I preach CM  I got a phone call from my manager yesterday telling me work wanted to pay me for the 8 days holiday I accrued whilst sick instead of me taking them as leave this yr.  He basically implied that if they wanted to do that I didn't have a say in the matter.  However....I have just spoken to someone at ACAS and that is a load of balls - the leave is mine to be taken as leave.  So now I have to pen a diplomatic reply to my manager saying I reject his offer of payment and I want the holiday.  My plan was to have lots of buffer days for hospital appts, sick kids etc, not to swan off to the Maldives for 2 wks.  Plus I have signed up to a breast cancer care weekend away which is over a friday and things like that, in the knowledge that I had the extra holiday to use.  Anyway......It's been making me miserable even though I've been trying my best not to let it!  Grrrrrrrr.

but I'm glad your water thing seems to be resolving,  - I hope they don't wait 6 months before fixing the pavement!  Scotland sounds fun too.  I so wanted to do the women;s 10k in May in Glasgow and was all set to try and rally the troops and organise it - now Matilda's ballet show is that wk end!!!!  So no Glasgow for me

28/01/2015 at 16:39

caro - no they definitely can't make you take the money. you are also entitled to bank holidays back if you are normally paid for those... so christmas / summer bank holidays will be translated into annual leave.

stupid mad day at work with a boss who can't make a decision and won't stand up for a thing. GAH!

28/01/2015 at 19:29

My annual leave includes bank hols - I get 11 days which includes any bank hols that fall on a Fri or Wed, so they are taken into account.  

Anyway, have now sent the stupid e mail, so I will now be attempting to not let it bother me whilst I wait for the reply!  Ha ha.  It just annoys me how employers always seem to try and get one over their employees.........

28/01/2015 at 22:18

Ohh that is naughty Caro - good on you for telling them to stick it!! As you say, its not like you are trying to take a big block off which would involve lots of cover.

CM - that is FANTASTIC news that the whole water situation has not ended up being the huge expense it might have been. Horrible to have to live through the stress first though. Maybe it will be a catalyst for you addressing the anxiety etc? 

I am finding it easier than I thought to put the whole job thing to the back of my mind (head in sand perhaps) and leave it to hubby to worry about. Possibly because I am focused on Freya and Matilda I guess and the weather is so amazing its hard to feel low. Don't hate me but I am going to say it - its actually too hot these last few days! Its tough on Freya and she was v fretful yesterday, sleeping better today and luckily hasn't affected her at night. TRying to decide what to do for the rest of the day when really I just want to lie in front of a fan!!


28/01/2015 at 22:45

Hello everyone

Quick update from me.  Moving tomorrow.  Jezz. I am trying to kit out our 3 bedroom flat for renting out without spending a fortune. I am sick of looking on gumtree, ebay etc.  I am getting there though.  Knackered and feel like I am just about hanging on in there with running.  I was saying to my handyman today that I am used to being able to be really focused on big races and this one is just whatever i can do, squeeze in. I guess its good for me and teaching me not to be so narrow minded.  I get too obsessed with races.

CM - so glad the water situ seems to be a good result.

Ironman ladies - hope you are ok.  I remember being so knackered when training for mine.  My gym near work had sunloungers  by the pool and i often went for a 30 min kip on them at lunch.

Caro - be strong but firm. They shouldnt put you in that situation but they probably arent aware of the law.

Hoggle - glad you are leaving hubby. I am a terrible meddler and it doesnt go down well.

I went out with some friends from HR last night.  I booked a 'meeting' at work for when I return.  I am just being careful with what i say on here as i think it's going to get legal.  I just can't see how I can stay there, not in my current role anyway.  It's so clear that I am not wanted.  Am trying to stop getting emotional about it and think about it as 'business'. It's not easy.

28/01/2015 at 22:54

Good luck with the move. 


ironically it is my hubby who is having work issues at the mo over childcare. he was on a seconded role which ended on 5/1. they then decided to put him in a different team on his return. He wasn't consulted and even better they said go to this team then half an hour later said oh no go to that one. So last week they informed him he now has to do shifts. It's not a lot in that it's only til 6pm but it's a rolling late shift of mon, tues, wed etc. he explained to them that he can't do lates as he has to get the kids by 6 and I am in Glasgow and can't do it. He is basically being told tough. Pointed out he wasn't consulted about the role, he would never have applied for a change which involved shifts and so far he has had several arsey emails about how others also find it inconvenient but they manage. um. It's not just inconvenient. He can't fecking do it. He offered Thursdays as that's my half day - by way of an olive branch- and got told it's a rota. So now it's escalating into a grievance. I know they're thinking why can't his wife do it but no one has been stupid enough to say it yet. Pretty sure they will though. He's planning to ask them exactly what they suggest he does. He can hardly leave a 1 yr old and a 7 yr old on the street and I would have to leave crazy early to be sure to be back in time. Aaaargh. It's never easy. 

28/01/2015 at 22:56

He's also paid feck all so they can take their stupid attitude and shove it. these are the same people that let his colleagues compress their hours for childcare reasons leaving him doing the work of 3 folk on his own one day a week. Twonks. 

29/01/2015 at 00:12

Oh that really sucks EF! Man employers are crap at times!! Although it is a nightmare that hubby has been made redundant, the new owners have made some pretty crap changes to the remaining staff's new contracts - increased hours (50 hours a week for one) and Saturday working among other things. Hubby would have been unhappy there as a result and as you say - you can't just change hours - people have lives and commitments that cant just be shuffled round to suit and you shouldn't be made to feel grateful that you have a job!!

29/01/2015 at 08:30

one thing is to be said for the University - nothing changes fast here and people are so change-averse that there would never be any concept of switching people's hours without consultation and union involvement! the flip side of that is that you can't get anything done ever because you have to maintain the status quo and you can't make anyone redundant!!

went to bed at 11 last night. woke up at 11.50 and was awake for hours. i feel wrecked. but... today i have a Welsh language 'meet and greet' training session, which i'm bizarrely very much looking forward to. because for a couple of hours, no-one will be able to get to me by email, phone or face-to-face to whinge, strop, stress, shout or generally hassle me about anything.  whooooooohoooooooooooo!!!

29/01/2015 at 08:57
EF - that's exactly the problem we have with our hours - we both have to work past 6pm, and all childcare ends at 6. It causes me many sleepless nights and hours of stress! However, we did both know that we would be expected to work like this, so it hasn't come as a huge surprise. I do sometimes long for a standard job without the pressure and risk though! Hope he manages to get something sorted.

PG3 - hope the move goes ok!

CM - great news on the water situation. This is going to sound a bit naff because I'm not sure how to word it, but has your counselling given you a way to reflect on the situation and your response to it, to try and help stop you getting into the same negative spiral in the future? Your holiday plans sound fab. Maybe we should set up a mums running club holiday house swap so we can all see different parts of the country!
29/01/2015 at 11:18

Boo to the tricky work situations. Hope they all get resolved soon.

Childcare cover is tricky. Our biggest problem is mornings because the primary school doesn't start until 9.15. Bus picks them up about 9.10 although I could drop them there earlier from 8.45 it still doesn't let me get to work for 9am as its half an hour drive. Added to that both hubby and I work in town so we try to travel together on the three days I work to avoid me having to take 2 cars. 40 mile round trip and our minibus is a fuel gussler. At the moment hubby is only doing a 30 hour week but still job hunting and the problem is a change in hours will bring new problems both before and after school. Hey ho, cross that bridge if we come to it. He needs a new challenge and his job is only funded year to year so not very secure - could do with more pennies too!

Hang in there PG. Thought you were being a bit direct when you said you are glad Hoggle was leaving hubby, thought I'd missed something then realised what you meant!!

CM yay to the trip north but boo to not coming up here. Can totally understand though, cost a bloomin fortune to get on and off this island.

Feel a bit zombiefied today. Got home at 10am yesterday morning after being up all night. Had a great night. Hubby was off work and kids weren't at school as day after Up-Helly-A' is a public holiday. Stuck the earplugs in and slept from about 11am until 2pm. Then went to bed as normal last night. Up this morning for a slippy 6 mile run (out house by 5.30) so I could be back for Dylan getting up. He is 13 today. You are right CM he was born on Up-Helly-A' day but UHA is always the last tuesday in January so its not always on his birthday.

Feeling guilty because I wouldn't let Sophie stay home today. She has a wee bit of a cold but mainly just tired from UHA (she was out too and also lasted all night). She just texted from school saying she is feeling horrible. But I really can't take anymore time off work this week so I hope she can last out.

Anyhoo lots to do and this ain't gonna get it done!

29/01/2015 at 13:24

I joined you in the awake zone last night CM - went to bed at 8.30 (not kidding!) with light out at 9 as hadn't slept well the previous night, woke at 11.20 then again at 3 something.  I'm sure it's the tamoxifen.........part of me says I should be grateful that I'm not getting bone pain and mega hot flushes that some people get, but I also would like to sleep!  I am also walking around during the day feeling 'wired' a lot of the time - I should be tired but in fact I'm almost the opposite.......

29/01/2015 at 14:53

and my boss just called and thanked me for my e mail and said it was there you go.  Now to book that holiday in the Maldives.........  

29/01/2015 at 15:07

oh dear re sleep caro but wayhay re holiday!

vixo - CBT talks a lot about drawing on your emotional resources and what you KNOW to be true - how you've dealt with things in the past - to stop you catastrophising. but i have never found that helps and i just don't seem to be able to do it.

i'm so tired i feel sick.

29/01/2015 at 17:37

I hope you realise the Maldives was a joke CM . I can still dream........

29/01/2015 at 17:41

I think you deserve the Maldives Caro...

29/01/2015 at 20:11
CM - I hope you get some sleep tonight x
29/01/2015 at 21:00

I did realise it was a joke Caro. But you do deserve the Maldives anyway!

thanks for the sleepy wishes. I was at work by 7.30 this morning. Left at 5.30 and drove straight to Cwmbran and ran 7 brutal hilly miles. It is literally uphill for 3 miles! It was snowing on and off and blowing an absolute hoolie. Bearing in mind I had about 2.5 or 3 hrs sleep last night I didn't do too bad!

think PG has moved. If so - yayayayayay!!!!

and rf looks like she has loads of fabby snow. We have none lying. There was a dusting in cwmbran but nothing here. Boooooo

29/01/2015 at 21:10

Caro I think you should go to the Maldives!

Lotte - i just checked what i wrote and realised what it looked like.  Glad Hoggle isnt actually leaving her hubby, just leaving him alone to find a job.

EF - childcare issues.  It's so hard trying to work and have kids  Has hubby been there for long enough to look at the legal issues around his role change?

Move went ok today although I thought my head was going to explode at one point.  Our packers and movers were excellent.  Three guys came and packed the place up and moved most of our stuff, all but the stuff we need for tonight. They come tomorrow for the rest.  Without doubt, worth the extra money.  I went to the new house and got the keys. I love it!! Oh did i mention our heating broke in our flat last night?  Great.  That cost £270 to fix. It wasnt covered on the boiler cover as its was the control to the the boiler.  

CM - hope you sleep ok x

29/01/2015 at 21:34

I think we all deserve the Maldives.  There must be a 10k or something we can use as an excuse  

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