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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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02/03/2014 at 21:07
No I shall not be working hard! I do indeed finish on IPCC at the end of march / beginning of April. The next thing he wanted me to pick up was client facing due diligence at British gas. And why would it be a good idea for me to do that if I have resigned. For gods sake. Stupid man. Fortunately the uni is being fine about it but I just want the hell out of there. And I can't get away for another quarter of a year. He is a cock indeed. This is all my immediate boss's doing. He is new and scared and relying on me. The main boss usually wants shot of people as soon as possible as it is too much of a risk to keep disillusioned people in client facing roles. So this is entirely his doing.
02/03/2014 at 21:16

Arrggghhh CM what a c**k!!!

As Caro says try not to let it stress you out - just let it reinforce the great decision you have made re. getting the hell out of there! Can't believe they want you to work the full notice but want to hold you to taking your annual leave.

Happy birthday (belatedly) to all those with birthdays around now! So many it seems!!

Camlo - your work/life balance sounds completely skewed at the moment. I hope it eases soon or you can find ways to avoid work intruding so heavily on your personal time - it solves a problem in the short term (keeps you on top of work) but has a long term cost in terms of happiness and wellbeing I think.

We are in the very early stages of toilet training - eeek! Matilda has asked unprompted to do wees on the loo 4 times now (in 2 days). Will just let her take the lead for now - mainly because I haven't a clue what I' doing so why not put my 2.5 year old in charge!! She's quite excited about it all.

Was on a Skype call this morning and hubby got called with some work from an agency - only he's disappeared and I have no idea what hes off doing, when he'll be back etc - so am assuming that means I;m collecting M at 12! Bollocks that means he has the carseat - looks like Im collecting her in the buggy which she'll love but means I'll be catching up on work this evening (ok ok I know if I was really stressed out I should be working now rather than on here!!)

Anyway all good, some money for us and work for hubby which is always great!

02/03/2014 at 21:30
Good luck hoggle's hubby!

Boss has mailed back to say I have to take my holiday. I am so livid.
02/03/2014 at 21:36

They can't make you CM!!  (Ok I don't know that for 100% sure) but check your contract and good old google.  It became my great friend when my work were trying to screw me out of my childcare vouchers.  Can't remember what I did about holday but I was on mat leave anyway so it wasnt really an issue.

02/03/2014 at 21:39
Getting paid instead of taking holidays

The only time someone can get paid in place of taking statutory leave (known as ‘payment in lieu’) is when they leave their job. Employers must pay for untaken statutory leave (even if the worker is dismissed for gross misconduct).

If an employer offers more than 5.6 weeks’ annual leave, they can agree separate arrangements for the extra leave.

from a .gov website CM.  so unless your contract says otherwise, he's talking out of his arse.

02/03/2014 at 22:01

i have bought extra holiday under flex bens so have (pro-rata) 7 weeks per year. and my contract is standard T&Cs at work which reflects the company policy which is that you have to take all your holiday before you leave unless otherwise agreed locally. locally meaning by your boss. and my boss has said no...

02/03/2014 at 22:30

Could you start new job whilst technically on annual leave from the other And so finish after 2.5 months? Tax nightmare I would expect but is it theoretically possible? I have no idea of the law on it but surely it's just a case of having 2 jobs which lots of people do. 

 

Things to do one week after returning to work and facing 3 proofs in Greenock sheriff court on Tuesday: get kitchen gutted and have to live off microwaveable foodstuffs.  what was I thinking? 

02/03/2014 at 22:33

IS there any way you can arrange a meeting with HR to dicuss - not sure if that'd be a waste of time!? Your boss does seem to be being incredibly unfair (numerous expletives that could replace unfair). WHat does N think?

You need to become really inflexible - no short notice trips etc etc. Absolutely no point bending over backwards for them working late into the night etc.

'Soon I will be free' needs to become your mantra!!!

02/03/2014 at 22:38

Fine Cm, tell him you will take weeks 11 and 12 of your notice period as AL. You can start work at the uni and get paid twice for the same weeks! Oh and perhaps you will have time owing to take during weeks 9 and 10? Perhaps if was quietly reminded that you can legitimately put a complaint in about him right up until you go.... 

thanks for thinking of me - work is defo screwing me up and i am very zombie like. i have admin starting soon (i hope) but not holding my breath until i see it.  Tom will be 7 tomorrow, he actually enjoyed the wee family party and we let him open pressies off in-laws so he spent all evening perfecting magic and scratching out some Egyptian treasure.  

Fab running Brookie and Caro! 

02/03/2014 at 22:41

Cross posts ladies, hope Mr Hoggle has a nice juicy job and boo to no kitchen EF

 

02/03/2014 at 23:50

Oh no EF - not what you need!! Unless you use it as an excuse to get some nice thai takeaway etc?

Camlo I listened to this TED talk recently about work life balance and it really resonated - focuses on individual taking responsibility. Fingers crossed you get admin soon - I hate it how employers are so short-sighted that they don't realise the damage over-work/stress does to their most valuable assets (staff). Take care xx

http://www.ted.com/talks/nigel_marsh_how_to_make_work_life_balance_work.html

Who knows what hubby will be doing - the work is through an agency. He wasn't working at his old place today so the extra money will be useful. More important is getting him out working in his new field rather than still stuck cheffing! Hope he has a good day - guess that means I'm sorting dinner too though - boo!!

 

03/03/2014 at 08:16
I have been sobbing this morning about work. I can't complain about boss as he is protected by the policy. It is all at his discretion so if he says "no" the policy backs him up. The fact that no one else has had to work their notice is irrelevant I guess. It is all line manager's discretion.
PG3
03/03/2014 at 10:26

CM - I really feel for you.  It sounds like he is being as difficult as possible, whilst playing by the official rules.  All you can do is stick to your side of the bargain and work strict 9-5 or whatever you need to work and no more.  Tell as many clients as possible that you have resigned as they will probably not enjoy that.  Also can you ask HR what kind of reference info they give.  I work in Banking and we only give out standard info such as name, job title and dates and nothing else, no matter what is asked for.  We would give that reference to someone who has been fired/the worst sickie offender or the best employee in the world.  The only time (I believe) they would mention anything was if someone was front office (ie a trader) and had violated the Financial conduct rules.  If yours just give a standard reference and no more info, then pull some sickies.  It does feel very unfair though.

Brookie - awesome time, really well done.  You should be so pleased with yourself.

Carovet - great running.  Looks like you are in good shape for the half.

The 'any news/how are you feeling' stalking is getting worse.  I am not answering phone calls and texts from the worst offenders.  I am v close to a FB status that says 'to all those asking, i am fine but the baby is not here yet' but I guess that sounds quite arsey.

That TED talk was very good.  All so true about the fact that we need to take responsibility for our own work/life balance (I know, I know, it's so much easier said than done) as the companies that we work for are designed to get the most out of us.

Edited: 03/03/2014 at 10:29
03/03/2014 at 13:58
I think that FB status is called for Pip!

Thanks for your support. Boss has also messed around with my annual appraisal. He has given me lower ratings than we discussed last week so I have rejected it and asked him to redo based on our discussions.

I have plodded tho. Am going to try and get a bit more running done while I am on notice period
03/03/2014 at 13:58

Pip - I think you are very entitled to get ars* tbh so I'd go for it if I were you!!

CM - he's a to**er no doubt, how can he be *protected by a policy* - I am dense here as I have not worked in an office with those kind of politics for so long now I concede I wouldn't know what to do. Agree with all of Pips' points though, and others. I like the idea of taking annual leave and starting your new job and claiming overtime though!!!   Definitely repeat the 'soon you will be free' mantra though!!

Camlo (()), hope the admin really does help you. So much stress  but great that Tom had a good bday.

TTid - party game, they LOVE the simple stuff in my experience - lots of fun had from basics like pass the parcel, musical statues, musical cushions (like chairs but less dangerous!), hide and seek. Exhausting but they love it.

Caro - yay to the great run

Brookie - fabulous and fantastic, hope you feel suitably pleased with yourself. And what a star Mr Brookie too

Sorry, forgotten what else I should be remember

Hope JT is surviving the chaos

Loving the pictures of Tatty's little girl on fb

Saw the Lotte family did a sterling effort in Shetlands XC on Saturday - top slots for most of the family members

I did 4.5 miles of oh so easy easy running in the forest with lots of focus on posture and virtually no niggles ... off to do hip exercises

Not sure who said surely I could  knock out random long runs - oh if only, my brain thinks I can but sadly not the body ... well not unless I've consistently kept my core strength up, which clearly I have not! Not a good advert for a Pilates instructor  but reminds me why I am so passionate about it as I know what happens when I don't do it. As for the climbing - if only that was a regular thing ... last time I did the winter climbing was two years ago . Sadly any rock climbing recently has been me belaying the kids, not me climbing. Ah well, all in good time, maybe this year will be the year I finally get the kids to the crag just down the coast from here.

03/03/2014 at 14:50

well done on the run cc! my back is killing me and my hamstring is tight - guess who needs to do some more core...

as for the policy protecting my boss: the leavers' policy says that employees are expected to take their accrued holiday allowance before they resign but at their line manager's discretion it can be agreed that they can be paid for it instead of taking it. so it is up to him to decide, and the policy allows him to make either choice and it is fine...

03/03/2014 at 17:28

Been reading but not posting as still feeling a bit black cloud ish and liable to moan about nothing!

But I just wanted to say CM, what possible benefit is there to forcing an employee to take holiday when they are about to leave??!  Surely you would want them to be doing handover work with a replacement, or tying up loose ends etc, not swanning off on holiday?  You can begin a countdown on your calendar, we can all count with you .  Absolute minimum effort from you though and NO last-minute travelling!

I feel very hormonal at the moment, it was TOTM but then nothing really happened - seems to be like that some months with a coil - but I feel as if the grumpy/spotty hormones are still lurking despite it being past that time technically .  Face like a pizza, extra pessimistic and snapping at kids .  I even contemplated applying for a teaching job this week coz I was getting so down about lack of money and general usefulness in life.  Hubby told me straight that there is absolutely no way I should apply for it!

Anyway I won't go on as I will descend into a pit of misery and self-pity!  Just took the kids to the park and a stupid woman with her child and dog let her dog keep pestering Nicky with his ball, shouting that it wasn't his, but then wasn't paying attention and the dog snatched the ball off Nicky, played with it for a few seconds then punctured it.  I had to walk over to her with it and say "your dog has just punctured our ball" .   She offered a feeble apology and said she had no money on her or anything so I just muttered it doesn't matter and walked off in a huff!

Right better get tea ready and go to the gym to cheer up I think   Back to work/school tomorrow and loads to do!

03/03/2014 at 21:05
Pip - you could try the "oh my gosh, did we forget to let you know?! So sorry, the baby was born days ago", followed by long silence and then cackling laughter. I bet they wouldn't phone again for an update!

CM - so sorry your boss s being such a pain. Hopefully the 3 months will go by reatively fast and you can then get started on the new job.
04/03/2014 at 07:05

Ggrrrrrr soooooo tired. Worked until 10pm and hubby then told me it was my fault I am   knackered as I stay up late... he 'chills' all bloody evening before he goes to bed and perhaps if he had done the washing, emptied the dishwasher and got kids stuff ready for school then i wouldnt be rushing about until midnight. THEN his bloody alarm wakes me at 6:20 as he likes to get up early to set his effing 'troops' off in fantasy land on some stupid game he plays..... I am on the brink ladies! 

Not asking about baby Pip........ 

CM - dont cry about it, dont waste your energy. He will always be a tosser but you will be free in just 3 months x

JG big hugs, i would have been less understanding with crap dog owner, perhaps she would have gound her purse if you had asked for her name and adress to report it as an incident (flaming dog could easily have bitten Nicky if he had tried to get the ball back? )

Hey ho, got to look on the bright side, up early means more chance to do more work before the kids wake..... 

04/03/2014 at 07:54

oh camlo, had to chiuckle at summary of husband's behaviour ... sounds so very familiar to my weekend husband!!

hope that those needing them, have better days today. and pip, I LOVED vixo's suggestion!

 

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