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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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23/02/2014 at 21:10
Yup Pip. He is their dad. Everyone on here has been long suffering with the story of my divorce and residence battles. We have shared residence. I have about 60% and he has about 40%. He is a very difficult man. Not a bad man per se but extremely difficult. And he doesn't talk to me about anything. Hasn't told me about this new girlfriend. He was still with his other one at new year, so this one is quite new. And this is the first time that the kids have met the girlfriend. And she has an 11yr old. Anyway - it is all made worse when he doesn't communicate at all with me. And won't answer any of my queries. And there are a lot of queries when everything you do or want to do has to be agreed with him first. Like hair cuts, getting new shoes etc. Very difficult indeed. Especially when you are a control freak like I am!!
24/02/2014 at 10:37

I hate the thought of Sophie wearing make-up, I know I am probably a bit of a prude in that sense and it would just be playing, but it's not something I've ever encouraged!

Came down this morning to find the cat's water spilled on the floor - asked Sophie why it was all wet and she had an instant sheepish look and said very quietly "I don't want to tell you because you'll be cross."  I explained that I would be more cross if she didn't tell me, and it transpired that her and Nicky had decided, for reasons best known to themselves, to put the cards from the Shopping Game in the cat's water.  WTF??!  I like to think my children are sensible and understand the consequences of silly behaviour, so this one really baffled hubby and I!  Obviously the pictures have peeled off some of the cards so they are all tatty and rubbish now .  I've given them a long lecture and told them they will stay in their bedrooms tomorrow morning until hubs or I tell them they can go downstairs.  I think this might sound like an overreaction to some parents, but I have high expectations of my children and want to let them know when they have disappointed me or been disrespectful either to us or to their belongings!  Amusingly though, Sophie's response when I said I didn't understand why they didn't stop when they saw it was ruining them, was "we just got a bit carried away" .  Sigh, kids.  First day of half term too...!

24/02/2014 at 12:32

have missed absolutely loads and done a mega skim which I will still miss lots!!

EF ((())) hope today is not too awful, can't believe your time off has gone already and  to the boiler, I don't mess with gas either

(can't type, stupidly didn't wear gloves on run today because there is no wind and was 7 degrees and consequently have yellow numb fingers!)

mega chuckling at the knickers/bikini line conversation.  I do wear knickers under my run shorts, but not on the bike as I wear two pairs of shorts anyway so I don't get a numb bum!! I have numerous pairs of seamless knickers from M&S, sainsburys wherever, I have a couple of pairs of preferred ones, they are all very thin though and cause me no bother. A razor deals with the rest, thankfully not a big problem for me though.

Yikes to the make-up CM, agree with caro though, would be more bothered by the coke, but am still having horrors at thought of 4-year-old in full make-up. S hasn't even worn nail varnish even though I do sometimes. Neither of mine have been in MacD's yet, but then I worked in there for two years while at college so rarely go in anyway!!

Um, what else have I missed? Annoying husbands ... well mine has a job, but it's 500 miles away and so he's grumpy most of the time because he wants to change but isn't brave enough and so he's tired from commuting all the time and not spending time with the kids ... he enjoyed being in charge here for a few days last week while I was away, so that made him even more grumpy at the weekend.

24/02/2014 at 12:38

I had fab couple of days escape from my domestic duties. Was bl**dy freezing and blowing a gale for most of the time, but on Wednesday the views were just spectacular, Cairngorms shrouded in snow in the winter sun - can't beat it. A 50m vertical abseil to the bottom of the route we climbed just about made my day!! Guy being assessed was fab - really knew his stuff and good fun too so we had two days of top-notch winter climbing instruction all for free. Glenmore lodge has really bad mobile phone reception and the wifi is sporadic at best so was like being on a retreat!  Dragged out heading home for as long as I could on Friday

Getting back to running cautiously, still niggles but way way better. Biomechanics visit was interesting - I took about three steps across the room and he said 'yes, can immediately see your problem' ... my right foot rolls in way more than would be normal, which consequently twists my knee and then my hip ... I can only imagine that usually I control this quite well but for some reason I currently am not! The knock on effect is also on my big toe joint, which I had noticed was painful at times - it's bigger than my left foot and quite bumpy (start of osteo-arthritis oh joy).  Anyway, he's given me some mocked up inserts for my shoes to try - right foot is loving it, left foot is not so mucg, but means my current shoes don't really fit them and now having a bit of a shoe nightmare - boxes going backwards and forwards to Wiggle in an attempt to find something suitable. Accept may need a more structured shoe but am not going back to the complete sofas I used to wear as can't bear not feeling some kind of ground beneath my feet!!

24/02/2014 at 12:42

So, am trying to cautiously get back on track as have 17 weeks until my 70 mile jaunt along Great Glen Way ...

Had a tentative conversation with husband on Sat eve (after he'd several glasses of wine) about a particularly stupid race/event I wanted to do in January next year ... http://thespinerace.com/ which he met with his usual blinding level of support and understanding (not remotely!!) ... so on Sunday morning I applied anyway thinking not a hope in hell ... and of course ... on Sunday afternoon I got an email to say I have a place ...  ... so now I need to confess, not even going to think about the logistics of childcare etc as it's a long way off and I need to make it to  December in one piece for starters ...

Right I have work to do, new block of Pilates classes start this week and I have 3 or 4 newbies joining

24/02/2014 at 12:44

I have a bag of millet somewhere Caro - must go in search, I think I have cupboards with contents like yours!!  I had a big glass of what I can only call green sludge this morning complete with chai seeds in it!!

Vixo - yes, skiing v expensive ... we didn't put ours in lessons, just did it ourselves but even so is still expensive but hubby is quite good as sussing out cheap ski etc before leave the UK.  Hence we've not gone this year, considering next year as kids getting fair amount of ski practice in up here anyway and will be big enough for us to do self-catering etc and probably no childcare requirements.

24/02/2014 at 12:59

 Just trying to catch up and am still several pages back but am peeing ma sel at all the pants/ bush talk, soooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!! Back lata maybe x

24/02/2014 at 13:20

That race looks impressive CC! Are you doing the 7day one or the 60hr one?! Glad you had some much needed time out. Fingers crossed the sole inserts make a difference too. Funny how it is something that must've developed recently.

Yep, makeup on a 4yr old is a bit much! I do let Maggie have her nails painted (she got two sets of nail varnish for her 3rd birthday!) but would never let her wear make up, I guess playing with an old lipstick when dressing up is ok but mascara?! And OMG to coke too! My two hate fizzy drinks so wouldn't want it but I would never allow it. I'm also anti-McD's, I know its meant to be better than it was but I still will never take my girls there. We do lots of lunches out though, mainly to pizza express, like to keep them restaurant trained! I think I'm like you too Caro, I have all sorts of grains, millet, bulgur, quinoa etc in my cupboard. I go through phases with them but as hubby does a lot of the cooking he reins it back if getting too healthy/grainy for him Also did a lovely (accidentally) vegan meal last night, Jamies happy cow burgers (15min book), basically mixed beans and frozen broad beans plus spices whizzed in processor then fried. Delicious! As usual we ate the whole 'serves 4' recipe between the two of us  Must try them on the girls... Gave them puy lentil Bolognese last week which got eaten!

Vixo- great you had fun skiing! We're desperate to go again but with no.3 coming it maybe sometime! The expense is shocking. a friend went and paid for nanny for her 2yr old, 20euro an hr... that's before her older ones ski school etc etc. I would never forfeit my summer hols for skiing so I think that's how it'll stay until we're mega- rich

Thanks for car info too! I am swaying towards the Alhambra because of the sliding doors. Think it'll be that or the s-max. Reason may end up with s-max is money, seems to be far more cheap second hand s-maxs than alhambras.

Pip- I used to live in Tooting. Mine and hubbys first flat was on Garatt Lane. My first was born at St George's. We're out in Surrey now (renting as its no cheaper out here either!).

JG- hope half term getting better! Sophie sounds hilarious 'got abit carried away' is so grown up

EF (()) does seem so fast. Hope first day was ok and you realise why you like your job. As someone else said, there is no good compromise between work and kids. I am resigning myself to the fact that I will be quitting this job when new baby comes. I already earn negative money due to nanny costs and only reason to continue was if I love it and things would change when Maggie starts school in Sept. But as I'll obviously have another baby so high childcare for 3-4 more years and I don't love my job the decision is obvious! But I am kind of excited about thinking what I might do instead (once the kids are bit older).

Gosh, must go, afternoon of seminars on fibrosis in cardiovascular disease to sit through. Will have to sit by the door because my bladder is already acting like I'm 8 months pregnant not 13 weeks!

 

24/02/2014 at 13:46

Ah EF I remember so clearly feeling like that but I am only part time. It does get slightly easier as time goes by and they get a bit bigger But there is always that feeling slightly in the pit of your stomach.

i am on two nights now so won't see the girls again until Wed. afternoon. Feel bad but what can you do. But then I of the rest of the week so it's not too bad compared to some. Our childcare is a real juggling act between private nursery for M & the other 2 go to FIL's before & after school. Hubby has to be put of the house by 7 am with them all.

oh an exciting afternoon got you there then Sonya! Enjoy.

Did you go alone to Glenmore CC? Sounded lovely. Will have to have a look at the race you just entered!

I wear pants running always but not that often cycling. Never have a problem running with chaffing but after my 24 hr MTB race when I had a pee after it felt like hot needles being poked into me, pure agony & had to slather on sudocrem. Oh my it was sore. Recently I have just been trimming but did used to wax a bit. I wear a swimsuit with shorty legs, much better!!!!

your hols sounded great Vixo. We have never taken the kids skiing yet. Just seems so expensive.

 

24/02/2014 at 13:56

My middle girl has loved nail varnish and make up since she was 2 & she is 7 now. She likes to put make up on, drives me nuts especially when she looks like aunt Sally!!! She tries to put mascara on and normally looks like she is starring in a horror movie!!! C who is 9 is not interested in make up but does like to get her nails painted. M(3) likes her bigger sister clarting make up n her face!

the only time the two older ones have a fizzy juice is at a party. At home it is apple juice in the morning, then water or milk. So bad for their teeth.

So I have been doing more running which is good but am missing mountain biking so much. Last week did 4 runs which was 20 miles, a turbo sesh of a hour and 13 miles on the MTB so a good week. One of the runs was a fell run upto 1000 feet and 2 of the runs were cross country with my wee sis who was up for a week ( normally lives in Hove).

Really enjoying getting onto the hills and stomping through heather n bog, although hard work!!! The girl I am doing the highland mountain marathon has mapped out a training day for us in 2 wks of 23 Kms & taking in 4 munros, yikes!!! Rather concerned about that. Still rubbish at navigation, need to get better

24/02/2014 at 14:00

at it. Luckily she is competent at navigating but I need to be able to as well.

right feel sick as I have eaten tons of dairy milk whilst on here so better go now!!! Did manage a flat 3 miler this morning and 10 minutes of squats, sit ups etc but now feel like a fat pig! Lol. Time to have a lie down before night duty so better go and read my book upstairs.

24/02/2014 at 15:49

Wow Sonya, does Maggie really start school in September??  Max can start what they call Voluntary Pre-Kindergarden (VPK) here in September which he will do at the same place the boys currently go to daycare.  The government basically pays for (I think) 5 half days so will take him in for the same hours as now but pay less.  Then next September he will start Kindergarden which I believe is at the same place he will then start school.  I assume that is not voluntary but really don't know

We are now seriously considering a people carrier, never thought I would live to see the day but 3 kids is such a major step up from 2!  Like the sliding doors feature and they are so much lower than the 7/8 seater SUVs we are also looking at so loads easier to get into.

Was feeling some cramp type pains on Friday so stayed home from work, I think I've been overdoing it and I must remember that I am 18 months older than last time and also have 2 to run around after not just 1.  Felt fine over the weekend so it was probably just ligament pain.  Mr TT wanted me to go to the doctor but I'm sure they would have done nothing except tell me to rest.

Your trip away sounded lovely CC, how fabulous to be free too!

Vixo, welcome home, skiing sounded lovely too.

EF, also hope your first day back was OK, bet F has lovely smiles for you tonight.  Hope you have heating and hot water when you get home too.

24/02/2014 at 20:59

Definitely can't keep up with all the news here!

EF - hope today wasn't too bad, photo on Facebook is great!

CM - I would say no to make up, she is four!!!  Someone bought Martha some vile looking lip glosses for her birthday party on Saturday - I was not impressed!

Just realised it must be Ellen's and Kit's birthdays as Martha turns 6 on Friday!!!

I applied for her in year transfer to a new school for when we move house in the Easter hols - so far she is looking forward to it.

I did another 6 miler on Sunday but because of Alan working away I'm only getting out once or twice a week.  I am doing a lot of dvd's in the week though.

We had half term last week so its good to get back to normal!

24/02/2014 at 21:02

EF - how did it go?

hideous day today - left home at 6 and drove to Hemel. Got stuck in two accidents on M4. had my annual appraisal (he was running 45 mins late by the time mine started) which was fairly non-descript. made no references to the stress I was under or anything. didn't even really thank me for holding the fort last year while head bloke messed around. anyway I know I shouldn't care but I do just want my bl00dy contract to turn up so I can resign!!

as a result, I was 45 mins late leaving Hemel and had to drive to Reading to get my laptop replaced (as it is now 4 years old). on the M1 I got distracted by overhead warning signs about delays on the M25 and missed my exit on the M25 and ended up carrying on on the M1, and before I knew it I was heading for Watford. Came off the M1 and then couldn't turn around so had to drive round Watford in a panic trying to get back to the M1. all the while, I'm running late for my bl00dy laptop replacement. and the engineer who is doing the replacement isn't an employee in the company so there are no contact details for him in the phonebook. marvellous

anyway, eventually I get to Reading about 30 mins late. he starts the process to build my laptop for me and after an hour it blue-screens. so he has to start all over again. I finally left the building at 5.50pm. I was then driving towards the M4 again when my phone rings 5 times. eventually I answer it, and it's the engineer "you've left your power cable behind". I was sure I hadn't but couldn't take the chance (as I'm now off for the rest of the week and don't really want a 200 mile round trip on my first day back next week to try and get the cable). so I tried to find somewhere to turn off the A429M - was going to stop and check - except again - you can't get back on the opposite carriageway, so I ended up driving about an extra 10 miles to get back round and then back to the office.  40 mins after I first left the office, I'm leaving again. He'd made a mistake. It wasn't my c0cking cable after all. I had it in my bag the whole time.

Get home at 8.40pm. So that's a nice 14.5+hr day, most of it in the s0dding car or waiting for meetings / people messing around.

and what's on my doormat when I get in? no, not a contract. car insurance renewal premium. great...

24/02/2014 at 21:03

yes, Kinsey - E's bday is the same day as Martha's. she is 5... where DID that time go??? she is obviously going on 15, though - so I'm not really surprised she's 5, IYSWIM.

glad you are finally moving. will you be in Ross then?

24/02/2014 at 21:36

And its days like that, that make you realise you're making the right decision!

24/02/2014 at 21:49

Oh hells bells cm I had a breezy day compared to you!

yes I survived. In spite of Fraser puking his milk all over me and the bed this morning. Clart that I am, I just left it. (It's changed and washed now though!) he then peed on me as I dressed him.  i wore the only thing I have which is a ted baker suit but the skirt is now so big on me that it sits about3" lower than it should and it meant it was really pencil like so I couldn't run! The burglar alarm then refused to set and said there was a fault.  Cried as I dropped him and howled all the way into town. Mainly due to leaving F but partly out of frustration at the shitty traffic and the flaming alarm.  Finally got the 9.15 train and got to office 10.15! Faffed all morning and then did some work this pm.  May have proof running in a week which I can see far enough! Left at 4and picked up Lou and then Fraser who was giggling away. he ate everything and even slept for them so all good.  

Got home and we have heat and hot water and mum had spoken to alarm co and got that fixed too. Phew!

 

tomorrow I am in Ed office. Hurray!

24/02/2014 at 22:02

Wow lots to read.... I am not commenting on giraffe knickers, flaming bushes or chaffed crackers...... 

Eek to mascara on kids! 

Boo to returning to work EF, bills and wasted journeys CM, limited opportunity to run (everyone but esp those with absent/ busy hubbies like kinsey and CC), working nights RF and feeling poorly TTid. 

Yippee to race CC, serves hubby right for not listening!! 

Had a fab weekend away with boys and made lots of new friends at an education day for kids with bladder probs like archie, made me realise we are the lucky ones when there were so many with more complex issues. even though he is only 5, he had a really good chat to a 15 yr old who has the same diagnosis. i was having to swallow back the tears as this lovely lad answered all of archies random questions (Mainly about sport!). 

24/02/2014 at 22:10

I did do my Lotte o clock run today, 4.3 miles at 6.45am (well that's about as early as it will ever get with me!) managed a good pace, leg and foot are fine, so fingers crossed it stays that way.  As one of my down to earth running friends pointed out to me it's not all about PBs....and I've done most of the training, lots of it in pretty dismal weather, so it would be a shame to waste it.

24/02/2014 at 22:12
Aw that is so sweet Camlo
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