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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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31/10/2007 at 15:05

Thanks CM - I think it started as a result of his cold (fair enough, poorlittle soul is choked with catarrh), then stupidly I gave him yoghurt when he wouldn't eat his savoury stuff.  Now he knows that if he refuses the savouries he gets yoghurt - either that, or he just isn't liking the texture of the savoury stuff because he's a bit bunged up, but likes the yoghurt because it's easy to eat.  I suppose because he's been so good with everything we've given him so far I've been a bit thrown by this as I didn't expect it.

As long as he has enough milk (which I guess he will again if he cuts back on his solids) then I'll try to keep calm and not worry about it.  I guess he'll start eating again when he's ready.  I'll just keep sitting him in his high chair and offering him his lunch as usual, and will try not to get stressed if he refuses.  A colleague just said that babies won't let themselves starve - and also they can apparently go 10 days or so without eating a thing with no detrimental effect as long as they are getting enough fluids.  Like you, I worry about him waking up in the night again if he doesn't eat much - hopefully that won't happen though.  It's so odd that they suddenly refuse point-blank to eat something that just the other day they couldn't get enough of!

Thanks again - not sure what I'd do without this thread!

31/10/2007 at 15:43

minks - jacob didn't eat anything of significance for me (used to eat at nursery fine!) until he was about 9 months old.  some days even now, he eats very little.  other days i'm shovelling it down his throat and think he's never going to stop!  i used to cry buckets about it, but now i know he will eat when he is hungry and boy, he sure can pack it away when he wants to! on saturday evening (after eating no lunch), he ate spag bol, a pear, a handful of grapes, a handful of blueberries, a whole yoghurt, a homemade blueberry muffin, a piece of fruit cake, and 2 sugar-free organix gingerbread men.  i honestly thought he was never going to stop! about an hour later, he then polished off 10oz of milk.

babies are very strange creatures. you think you've got them sussed and suddenly they change the parameters! even they don't know why half the time though, and they certainly can't communicate it to you.

31/10/2007 at 16:13
CM - you're right- you  never get them sussed (even when they're mature 11 year olds!) - I think accepting that goes a long way to helping make the adjustment to parenthood, but it can be really hard.
31/10/2007 at 16:28
Caramel - would be great to e-mail offline! Its such a cheery forum I'm conscious I don't want to drag it down too much. And I'm sure you haven't said anything to your hubby that most mums haven't thought at one point or another so I wouldn't worry too much!

All this weaning talk is fascinating... aren't babies tastebuds very intriguing with what they will and won't eat!

31/10/2007 at 16:35

well, time to go and rescue my little monster from nursery.  was half expecting a call from them today because he was up for 2 hours in the night, but ... nothing.  am taking him to his first halloween party tonight. am a useless mother because i haven't done him a costume but i did buy a 'monster' tshirt from tesco for 2 quid, so that will have to do! not sure what state he is going to be in because he's  normally comatose after nursery but hey - he wanted to party at 2am this morning, so he can jolly well party tonight.

it would be lovely to hear from you MR.  i do sometimes feel a bit sorry for any lurking mums-to-be who read my posts and think 'ARGH'! on the other hand, it's very important for you to keep posting here - however you feel.  i don't think there's a soul on this thread who doesn't understand how hard it is, even if people haven't felt quite the way we do!

01/11/2007 at 08:41

The early months are not so active, but imagine going to a world where you had not seen anything like it before - that is what these babies see.  Everything is amazing to them.  A sheet of blank paper, a leaf, a person, noises, voices, the wall (James' favourite), never mind the posh toys that you spend all your money on.

Rather than putting James in a sling, I used to vacuum round him, move his m basket and continue vacuuming.

MR don't worry about anyone here - we all have really awful days need to explode somewhere.  It can also take pressure off exploding at hubbie as soon as he walks through the door.  Also, as I am sure people will say to you, you forget so much of the early days - probably because you are so busy with an active child.  Can you see any changes yet in Megan?  Look back at the earliest of photos - there are probably changes there already! 

01/11/2007 at 08:59

PA - the reason i used a sling so much was that jacob screamed every time i put him down.  so there was no chance of putting him in his carrycot and getting on with anything!  it wasn't until he was about 8 weeks old that he actually started to sleep anywhere other than on me, and that was because we started putting him to sleep face down.  so if you have a very fretful baby, rather than bouncing them up and down on your arm / shoulder all the time, it sometimes works to stick them in a sling and get on with stuff.  they still get bounced around, are close to you, and sometimes - just sometimes - they might even go to sleep

every baby is very different though.  some gurgle happily to themselves on their backs in their moses baskets and drift off to sleep; and some very definitely do not.  some do sometimes, but won't other times.  it's all so individual.

jacob used to love watching trees and leaves from a very young age.  i remember putting him in his pram under the plum tree while i picked plums (careful not to drop any on him) and he was fascinated.

01/11/2007 at 09:10
CM yeah, I wished James would fall asleep on me but Mr Independent never would.  That is why it was so brilliant at the start of the week bringing him in to bed with me and he fell asleep on me until I had to get up.  (Still cherishing that time) There must be a baby out there who has the right balance!  In the early day when we went out and James got tired we had to head home as he would only sleep in his lying down (pram or moses) or in the car.
01/11/2007 at 09:14
PA - haha! we also had problems (and still do have) out and about, because jacob only sleeps on his front, so no sleeping in the car or pushchair.  never has done. it's a right pain!
01/11/2007 at 09:49

Ploddingalong, same with Kit.  He's never been a "cuddly" baby - as soon as I sit him on my lap and try to have a cuddle he wriggles and squirms until I eventually put him down.  There was a small window of time when he used to sleep through until about 6:30am, and we would hear him playing with his toys in his cot.  Sometimes we would get him and bring him into bed with us for half an hour, and once or twice (!) all three of us went back to sleep which was lovely.  But usually he'd be so excited at being in bed with Mummy and Daddy that he'd bounce around all over the place and make loads of noise so none of us got any sleep!

JT, I risked a run last night despite the trick or treaters.  I actually had an egg thrown at me from a passing car - it missed, but I felt really incensed.  What is wrong with these people?  The rest of my run passed without incident but it left a bit of a nasty taste I have to say.

Kit played up with his baby rice last night - hubby ended up putting it into a white pot that looked a bit like a tub of yoghurt and then he ate it fine!  This morning I made up his banana porridge and peach in the pot I usually make it in, and he ate it fine - after the last mouthful he had his mouth open for more!  Will see how he takes his savoury solids at lunchtime - my mum has been briefed!  Have made up a smaller portion than usual and advised Mum to make it a bit runnier with some formula as I think it's the texture that's putting him off at the moment.  He did seem a lot chirpier this morning so hopefully the cold has more or less gone.  We didn't give him any Medised last night, which he's been having since Saturday, and it's just occurred to me that possibly that's been affecting his appetite?  Who knows - babies are such contrary little things!

CM, Kit's always been fascinated with trees too.  When I open the curtains in his room after a nap he stares out of the window - for ages I wondered why until I realised he watches the branches of next door's tree blowing in the breeze.  Think that's why he loves being out in his buggy so much - lots of lovely trees to look at!

01/11/2007 at 13:11

CM - trees work for us too - all my children have enjoyed lying in their pram under trees, and Eddie already appears to have a favourite tree on our walk to school - as we pass under a particular one he gets quite excited if he's not asleep.

JT - thanks - I am trying Eddie out in his cot again as I type and he seems to be settling a bit better today - still the occasional grumble but not continual screaming like yesterday!  The thing is, I wouldn't have thought he'd be ready for another snooze yet as he's only been awake for a total of about 3 hours today, but he was showing all the signs of being tired so I put him down and it seems to be working. 

My daughter used to go to sleep on me sometimes, but I can remember waking up in the middle of the night to find two enormous eyes staring into mine whilst she was firmly latched onto my nose - yuk!

I braved the teenage trick or treaters last night too - saw a couple of groups but none took any notice of me - phew!  In our area it's quite a community thing for the little ones to go trick or treating - people put out pumpkins and decorate their houses so I took Jack and Eddie round to a few of our neighbours houses with a friend and it was good fun (although Eddie was alseep in his pram all the time) - Jack looked extrememly cute in his non-scary vampire outfit and his friend was a quite glamorous looking witch (lots of sparkles!)

01/11/2007 at 13:49

sarahbob - how i laughed at the tale of your daugher latching onto your nose.  jacob used to suck my nose when he was tiny.  in fact, he would suck anything in reach.  now he just bites if you aren't careful!

i'm going to have a running related rant now.  WHY do fishermen think it's ok to take up the whole footpath with their detritus (umbrellas / rods / coolboxes for their beer) so that there is no room for me to run past??? and then WHY do they have a complete strop when i ask them whether they can move something so i can get by???  i have just been on my lunchtime plod along the estuary and as it's nearly high tide there were several lots of fishermen along the seawall.  one of them had put umbrellas RIGHT across the path so there was no way for me to get past and a huge big clump of brambles all along the inside of the path, so i couldn't get past that way either.  he told me just to bend back the side of the umbrella to get past and i did but i still got scratched to pieces by the brambles in the process.  the other week my husband got attacked by the dog of one of these fishermen and the dog ripped a hole in my husband's running tights (good job he was wearing them or he would have had a hole in his leg, i suspect).  when my husband asked the guy to move his stuff so he could get past, the bloke told my husband he'd set his other dog on him.  fortunately no dogs along there today, apart from the soppy one that belongs to the sheep farmer, and she's lovely.

rant over.  sorry!

01/11/2007 at 14:01

My goodness. Am sure I posted yesterday and wow, pages to read. Hope I've not missed anyone or anything. MR and CM, I really admire you both as Minks has said. When I was in hospital and Harry was really ill so we all had to stay in for 3 weeks, I was told I was a prime candidate for PND. Thankfully despite down days all was fine. My only really bad blip was at 6 weeks, I felt rough for 3 days, but nothing like CM experienced. I wish you all the best MR, and I expect being so open about your feelings will be helping.

Minks I also found it hard wondering where my old life had gone. Now I just think its changed and that life has gone, and how much I do enjoy this life. I get really down about the house being dirty. I try to do a bit every day but often don't, but that also means the house is never all clean at once which I hate. I would love a cleaner but that is totally out of the question!

I also used to get very stressed about food for the boys as they have such good appetites. Teething really upsets them especially now with their very lumpy food. I now just chop up what we had the night before with a pair of scissors. My two also play up when they are bored with the food so maybe try some new recipes. Maybe also move away from baby rice for tea and give him some finger food or lentil soup or some pasta, he should beable to chew on a rice cake or piece of bread, or cook up some frozen mixed vegs, my two loved this when they started finger food cos of all the colours. We now have days when one or both eat next to nothing. Some days all they have is a few grapes and a piece of cheese. Then like CM says other days they can't get enough, and you wonder where its all going. Today they have wolfed down a massive portion of tuna pasta that we had last night and yoghurt with loads of dry fruit. Last night I made them spanish omlette which took a while and they only ate a very small amount, so I'm afraid they're getting it for tea tonight too!!!

01/11/2007 at 14:02
Blimey CM thats bad. When I was a student in Oxford I used to have same problem. One runner from our group jumped over a rod and snapped it, now that really served the fisherman right!!
01/11/2007 at 14:04
My boys used to suck hubbie's t-shirt, he has a hairy chest so only tried without once!! He used to have little wet patches over his chest. They even used to go to their respective sides. H was always left boob, J right!!!
01/11/2007 at 14:22

MM - I think you are an absolute hero for getting through everything without cracking up.  i couldn't have done it.  all the people i know who have twins are absolute stars - real copers.  not at all like me  - just as well i just had the one!

that's v. sweet about your boys sucking your hubby's t-shirt.  j used to love sucking shoulders.

my worry about jumping over the stuff on the footpath is exactly that.  i'm such a clumsy cow i'd probably trip, go splat and break everything.  and then end up being sued by the guy fishing!  i suppose i shall have to start avoiding high tide.  the problem is that the only time i can run along there is when i'm working from home and it has to be at lunchtime, so i don't have much choice about the time of the day i go!

01/11/2007 at 14:27
i've just found two mini packets of milkybar buttons in the cupboard with a BB date of yesterday.  can't give them to jacob now, can i?  will just have to eat them both right now so that they don't go off anymore.
01/11/2007 at 15:19

MM, like you I get down about the house being dirty.  It isn't really, but it's not as clean and tidy as I'd like it.  It's also very small so I'm conscious of trying to keep things in their proper place all the time to avoid it feeling cluttered.  Like you, I can never clean the whole house in one go as I just don't get time, so I cleaned half the bathroom (basin and loo) on Tuesday afternoon, then the bath and shower while I was in them after my run Tuesday evening!  The kitchen hasn't been done this week and I hate that, but there you go.  Would love a cleaner too!

The only reason I'm still giving Kit baby rice for his tea is because he's always really tired at that time (he often won't have an afternoon nap) and it's easy to eat.  It also means that he gets extra milk while he's being fussy with his bottles.  Would like to try him on something else but not sure what.  He's just started on a bit of finger food: so far rice cakes seem to be working, but not sure finger food is a good option for tea just yet as it takes him ages and he's quite tired so probably won't eat much.  I like him to have  agood amount in the evening so he sleeps well!  Could try pasta - I did buy some baby pasta this week - but will wait until he's eating more normally again.  At the moment he's not big on lumps, maybe because he's still full of catarrh from his cold, making swallowing difficult.  Might try some soup although he didn't like lentils when I gave him red lentil savoury (a GF recipe).  Think I will consult my Annabel Karmel book - he seems to like her recipes!  Could try cream cheese in thin sandwiches, or maybe a jacket potato mashed up with butter with some mashed baked beans?  Perhaps he IS getting bored of having the same recipes all the time - although there are about 5 or 6 I use regularly so it's not as if he has the same thing more than once a week.

CM - GRRRR!  I have a similar rant over people who walk three abreast across the pavement as I run towards them and just won't budge.  The other day I deliberately clipped a woman's arm (serves her right for not moving over) and she yelled abuse after me as I continued along the road!  My pet hate with dogs is those silly little ones on a huge long lead, which in the dark is almost invisible.  The other night I nearly fell over a lead - owner was on one side of the pavement, dog on the other and the lead stretched in between.  In the dark I didn't see the lead and it acted like a tripwire.  No apology from the owner of course!

01/11/2007 at 15:46

minks - if you want him to eat well at tea time, why don't you give him a main course and then give him his yoghurt after that (if he's having fruit instead of yog at lunchtime).  i didn't make all that much distinction between lunch food and dinner food until jacob was about 9 or 10 months.  he used to have similar things at both meals.  you could try giving him some toast and bits of cheese to chew on while you spoon in some rice pudding, or something similar.  i used to find that worked best with jacob.  i also sometimes gave him porridge for tea if he hadn't had it at breakfast time.  he's not to know it's breakfast food, is he?

jacob used to eat a very thick minestrone soup (pureed down) with potatoes and beans and things in it.  you could try something like that. 

pasta can be a tricky one - jacob still won't eat it unless he's at nursery or it's a jar of toddler's pasta.  won't eat pasta i cook for him!

i used to find that if jacob had even a hint of a cold, anything with lumps in would make him vomit his entire meal.  i used to spend AGES coaxing him to eat spoonfuls of food, then give him a bit of pear to eat and he'd choke on it and bring absolutely everything back up again.  ARGH!

01/11/2007 at 15:55

CM, rice pudding sounds like a good idea - presumably one has to home-make it?  I doubt I can give him the ready-prepared varieties.  How do you make it and is it time-consuming?

The cold thing may well explain why Kit seems reluctnant to eat anything lumpy at the moment.  I gave him a rice cake yesterday morning while I prepared his cereal, and he choked on a piece and vomited a little (fortunately not his entire bottle of milk!)  He hasn't worked out with finger food that he has to swallow one mouthful before taking another - he bites the rice cake so that small pieces break off into his mouth, then he chews them a bit, then he takes another bite - without having swallowed what's already in his mouth.  Then he gags!

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