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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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12/08/2007 at 15:25
Hello ladies - I am no expert, can only go from own experience and advice taken. My boy is now 9mths old - but I can certainly sympathise with own bed, cot, nursery sleeping patterns. Babies will, of course, settle with you, on you, or your partner because of your heart-beat. One suggestion is to put a gentle ticking clock near to thier cot or in their nursery to re-settle them after a feed. It worked for us. Jacob has slept through the night from 5months. Yippee.
GMx
13/08/2007 at 20:32
you are so brave doing public breastfeeding. I am only just reaching the stage where I don't pretty much have to strip to the waist so haven't dared yet. it's just easier to take a bottle out with me or else to nash home.

On the sleeping front, Louise sleeps in a wee crib next to our bed. She will have to move to a cot soon because she's ridiculously long and it is almost outgrown already. Ditto the pram which is a pest. i totally know what you mean about a rod for your own back Janie, we keep picking Lou up whenever she squawks and then we shoogle her back to sleep and I'm convinced that in two months time I am going to be pacing the floor with a great big lump of baby in my arms desperately trying to get her to sleep. however, at 4am when you are trying to go back to bed you just do whatever it takes!

Today Lou was in one of those moods where she's ridiculously tired but won't sleep. she slept most of yesterday and still slept through til 5am this morning then went back down afterwards and slept til 9.40 but I reckon she's only had the odd 15 minute snatch since then. Every single time I tried to eat something she would wake. She'd be sound asleep in my arms for about ten mins and I'd try to put her in her crib and ping eyes were open again. now her eyes are drooping but she still refuses to sleep.

Cracking nappy issues today too. took nappy off and thought she can have a wee kick about for two minutes and then next thing there was poo everywhere and as I frantically mopped it up she decided to pee. Just grabbed her and dunked her in the bath!

Oh well, my peace is nearly over. Andy took Louise down to grandmas so that I could get a wee break but he's just back judging by the clunks downstairs. Or else am being broken into!

Catch you all soon. Oh and yes, Hetty, hats off to you managing with two. I simply cannot imagine how hard it is.
13/08/2007 at 23:32
Hello all - loads of posts since I last managed to get on here! You are all doing great: Janie, don't know how you survived the outlaws' visit! I was so emotional initially after Kit was born that any kind of upset would have tipped me right over the edge. As it was, my inlaws were fab - MIL is an ex-midwife and was so horrified that, having been discharged from hospital on Friday I had not had a home visit by Monday, she insisted that they came down (from Wales!) and looked after me. They stayed in a hotel so that hubby and I still had time to ourselves to get used to being a family, and they were so wonderful and supportive I don't think I'd have got through without them. My mum was around too but she really came into her own when hubby went back to work as she took that week off work to help me out. I was a bit scared when I first had to 'fly solo' as I'd had help for the first four weeks of Kit's life and it was a bit daunting having to go it alone. But I was also actually quite glad to crack on with things in my own way - it's the only way to build confidence I reckon.

Kit slept in the carrycot attachment of his buggy on a Moses basket stand in our room for the first 7 weeks. We never took him into bed with us. For the night feeds, whoever was 'on duty' would take him into his own room to change/feed him, then put him back into the carrycot afterwards. This was mainly so both hubby and I could get some decent sleep on alternate nights. Perhaps because I'm tiny and Kit was a big baby and maybe felt very confined inside me, he has always hated being in a confined space, so he soon found his carrycot too narrow for his outstretched arms and would claw the sides. We moved him into his big cot in his own room at 8 weeks and he's slept there ever since. He's definitely slept better since we did that - and so have we! He first slept through the night without needing a 3-4am feed at 10 weeks and as soon as he did that, we stopped feeding him in the night. If he woke up we would settle him back to sleep with a dummy or by patting/stroking. We did have a bit of a bad patch when he was about 4 months where he woke every hour of the night for about four nights, but I tried some mild controlled crying during the day naps at that time and he learned quickly how to settle himself back to sleep. Since then he's slept brilliantly at night and goes from 11pm when we give him his last feed to about 6:45am - although he's just started waking round 6am in the last week or so. He's quite happy to lie in his cot and play with his teddies, but he's SO vocal he invariably wakes us up! Hopefully he'll start waking later again once we start him on solids in the next couple of weeks.

Have had a nightmare with feeding him over the last couple of days. He simply refuses the bottle and gets himself into a complete state. He opens his mouth to take the bottle as though he's hungry, then as soon as he's sucked for about a second he jerks his head back to get away from it. I'm thinking it's possibly teething and his gums are sore - tried rubbing some Bonjela on about 10 minutes before his feed which seems to have helped slightly, but today he only took 32oz of formula in total whereas he's been having up to 38oz quite happily last week. As long as things improve in the next day or so I'm sure he'll be OK but any longer and I'd be worried about him starting to lose weight. Poor little chap - he's normally so good.

EF, LOL at your poo story! The very first bath we gave Kit after we brought him home from hospital, he pooed in the towel! He's never done so since although he's peed over me several times! (And all down the wardrobe door, all over the floor, all over my mum's lounge floor ...)
14/08/2007 at 08:55
x
14/08/2007 at 10:59
Wow, big posts, it's good to have a real catch-up!

Minks - your routine sounds great, lots of sleep for you now! I know what you mean about that 'arms outstretched' thing, when Hector has the space, both arms are out to the side and legs splayed all over...he looks so chilled! Regarding the gums, a friend used a homeopathic remedy for teething and said it really helped. I'm not entirely sure what it was, but it was in little sachets of powder that you pour on their tongue, possibly chamomile?

EF - I am seriously thinking of getting one of these. I had a 'too public' experience at the weekend when we met up with my husband's cousin. We were in a cafe and it was a bit cramped, so I really couldn't get myself into a good position to be 'discreet' and ended up flashing my muffin top and jelly belly to all - there was a couple at a nearby table giving me filthy looks and muttering to each other :( I think the vest would at least give a bit of coverage under a baggy top.

Oh yes, the poo sounds familiar - just be happy you've got a girl, boys can cover quite an area with their little fountain of wee!!

For the past couple of days Hector has been having more awake time during the day, where he's truly delightful, gurgling to himself, chattering away to the yucca plant and enjoying playing, and my terrible singing (I have to make up the words because I never remember them). Maybe he will make a shift to longer sleeping sessions at night soon...it takes time I suppose.
14/08/2007 at 12:59
Hello guys. Mammoth posts as usual!! JT your in-laws sound positively hideous and I think you deserve a medal to get through it. Not what you need when your hormones are still up and down and you're still trying to get life balanced!

B/feeding in public - not an easy one. I used to dread it if I had to do it as my milk used to pour out and choke both of mine. Things that made it easier were zip front sweatshirts/cardigans and then I used to wear two vest-tops - one I could hitch up and the other I could pull the neckline down (basically the larger-size tops I had in pregnancy that had lots of stretch!!). This saved some kind of modesty as my boob would then peek out from the gap and be covered by baby! Plus if one got soaked then the other one might survive and be wearable.

Can totally sympathise with the pooing dramas. I leave Scarlett on a big old towel (doubled up) now when I do this. However, that still doesn't stop her smearing it all over her feet etc... Straight in the bath then.

Sleeping is a difficult one as everyone has their own views on what they want to do. We put Joshua and Scarlett in their own rooms fairly quickly as they were both incredibly noisy in their sleep and I am a light sleeper. Plus, their rooms are literally just across the hall from ours and your senses are super-honed to any kind of noise or squeak out of the ordinary. Both slept in moses basket or carrycot until - as Minks said - they needed more space to spread out. Both of ours slept in a room that also had a single bed in it, so if it was a night where I was up and down all night I'd often fall asleep in the single bed in the same room so hubbie got some sleep and could function at work the next day! We've been pretty discliplined with both ours on the leaving them to settle front - once you're happy they have been fed etc it does get easier to leave them to it. As I say, everyone has their own ways of doing things but both of mine have thrived on a routine of sorts.

Minks, not sure what to suggest re Kit and his feeding. I've noticed with Scarlett that she is a lot more nosy now and if I am feeding her where anything else is moving around I have to almost chase her with the bottle. I guess it might be teething - I can't remember Joshua being too concerned by a teet but some of those memories are a little blurry now. I'm also now trying her on some baby rice. She's gone from sleeping soundly from 11pm to 7.30pm to waking up at 5.30 absolutely starving! I had hoped to go a bit longer but it's obviously not to be and the health visitor was totally happy with this when I had her weighed yesterday (14lbs now at 20 weeks and really quite chubby). Have you been on your hen day/wedding yet? The outfits sounded lovely.

Anyway, time to sort lunch for Joshua and I. It sounds like all you mums are doing great. I think having children is one of the hardest (and most rewarding) things I have ever done. And the learning curve is VERY steep.
14/08/2007 at 16:22
Oh dear. Just back from our six week check at the GP...rubbish. I felt like she was just going through the motions, simply ticking off a list of requirements, she seemed so uninterested. I'm glad I didn't have any real concerns because I don't know if I would have felt able to raise them with her :(

At the end I was thinking 'is this it?' and had to ask her if I was ok to begin exercising again. She said 'yes, you're fine' as if it was a daft question, so I said I thought you had to wait until your six week check and she said 'that's only if you've had a c-section'. She didn't examine me in any way, no BP, no internal or anything. Feel a bit deflated after that. Oh well.
14/08/2007 at 21:05
Janie, at four weeks Ted weighs almost what Kit weighed at birth! I still can't believe that someone as tiny as me had such a large baby. Obviously it's complete rubbish that women who exercise in pregnancy end up with small, low birthweight babies!

Kit's been a nightmare with his feeding again today. His last two feeds this evening were better - am hoping we're coming out of the 'blip'. I've kept records of all his feeds and it's been quite reassuring to read back and find he's had a few other feeding 'blips' where he's fussed and screamed for a couple of days, then gone back to eating quite happily. I spoke to the HV at the clinic today and she told me not to worry too much - he still gained 6oz in the last week (now weighs 16lb 4oz at 24 weeks) and he's perfectly happy and fine in himself. She said that he seems to be far more alert than the average baby for his age and suggested starting to wean him as he looked to be quite ready for solids. Funnily enough hubby and I had been speculating that he was fussing with his bottles because he was bored of just having milk all the time and wanted something more interesting! He certainly gets very excited every time he watches us eat. I let him lick my apple the other day and he got very enthusiastic and didn't want to give it back to me! He's also started to drink water from a cup - he LOVES it even though most of it ends up down his front! We've decided to start him on some baby rice at the weekend - waiting until then because hubby wants to see him take his first spoonful of food. He's sleeping fine without being weaned but once he's established on solids we should be able to cut out the 10:30pm feed which we're still waking him for at present. Have tried not waking him a couple of times but he just woke up on his own about an hour later which didn't benefit us at all!

Agree that the 6-week check-up is pointless. My GP did take my BP but only because I wanted to start back on the Pill. He gave me the OK to start running again too. The only thing I did find helpful was his reassurance that it's perfectly normal for the first few periods after having a baby to be very heavy, and that they should settle within 4-5 months. Mine are MUCH better now, thank goodness: I was a bit freaked out by the first two!

Sorry; mammoth post again!
14/08/2007 at 21:46
Thanks for the votes of confidance guys... just done 2 days alone and its been ok apart from a bit of a meltdown last night when R got home cos I was worried I cant keep them both happy and do anything else like eat or clean! Its so hard when they both want to be held. Today was better though, just from not trying to be super housewife and just focusing on babies!

As for sleeping, we decided to try them in thier own room and it has generally been ok - using a dummy to settle them back down after night feeds works a treat and they seem happy enough. that said Ella has taken 2 hours to go to sleep tonight, not crying just getting unsettled when the dummy falls out so I have to respond incase she wakes Milla (I swore I would never use a dummy but I have to admit it helps, tried it in the day today when they were both wailing but they were not interested then) They come into me for the early morning feed and after a few cuddles sleep again til 10 with me so we still have that contact which is nice.

Blooming marvellous do so good bfeeding vests, worn with a wrap top over you would never know you were feeding. (just looked at the link AP and mothercare is cheaper!)

Got my 6 week check on fri, already been told they dont examine you???? Whats the point?

Its good to know that all as new mums are facing the same issues and that those of you with older babies have been there and come through the other side!
15/08/2007 at 09:36
Hetty, we swore we wouldn't use a dummy at the beginning but to be honest it was a lifesaver in the early days! It was the only way we could get Kit to settle to sleep in the night when he awoke unless we wanted to be in and out soothing him every few minutes. I was really worried about how I was going to wean him off his dummy but he's actually done this himself. Once he learned how to take it out of his mouth it was of limited use anyway - now he treats it as a toy! I occasionally use it - mainly when getting him dressed for bed after his bath when he's a bit tired and fractious, and also for getting him to doze off in his buggy if we're out and about around nap time, as he's now so interested in everything going on around him that he won't drop off of his own accord as he used to do. Also useful in the car on a long journey as he gets fed up after a while. We've just bought a dummy clip to attach it to his clothes so he can find it and put it back in his mouth while we're in the car. Have spent several hairly moments kneeling backwards on the front passenger seat while on the motorway, rooting around for a dropped dummy! Totally illegal of course, not to mention dangerous!

Kit seems (touch wood!) to have got over his feeding 'blip'. He didn't fuss at all at last night's late feed and took 7oz no problem. This morning he guzzled down 6.5oz without fussing or screaming. Hopefully he'll be OK again now. Was not overly concerned as he's had 'blips' like this before when he just refuses to feed properly - it tends to right itself on its own but just makes for a stressful couple of days while it's happening. At this stage I'm not too worried about him not taking enough, it's more the fact that feeding becomes such an unpleasant experience when he's screaming and throwing himself backwards every time the bottle is placed anywhere near his mouth.

At the outset looking after a baby is such a steep learning curve (I take my hat off to Hetty, Mitchie Moo and anyone else with twins!) but several months in, it suddenly hits you one day that you're actually doing an OK job and you can't remember what life was like before the little one came along. I was the least maternal person in the world before Kit - I never yearned for a baby or took that much interest in other people's - but now I couldn't be more different. I find myself overwhelmed with love for him sometimes. I absolutely adore him - he has changed my life and I wouldn't want the old one back!

15/08/2007 at 13:39
Thanks JT, what a lovely poem. Indeed, when you have a well adjusted person setting off into the world without you, you'll be congratulated for all the caring and nuturing you did, and NOT how clean your house was kept!
GMx
15/08/2007 at 13:40
Anyone at the 'which stairgate to get?' phase yet? We've just made an expensive mistake!!! DOH!
GMx
15/08/2007 at 13:42
Wow! Been on hols for two weeks and so much has moved on. Am feeling very fraught this morning. The boys are now very mobile and am finding it all a bit stressful since we got home yesterday. We have had several quite bad bangs to heads this morning even though we have tried to make the house safe.

All I can say especially to Hetty is play pens are a life saver!! I wouldn't get anything done if I didn't pen them in for a few minutes!

They keep pulling themselves up on things, crawling everywhere, pulling on any cables they find. Joshie pulled up on a dining room chair which then fell back on top of him. Nightmare! He stands in his cot screaming. Harry is a bit behind but still dangerous!!

Good to hear everyone else is doing well.

Hetty my two were in their own room sharing a cotbed from the day we got home. I used to feed them in their room and then come back to my own room which really worked for me. Then I used to feed them in the morning in bed like you.

Minks sounds like Kit is ready for some baby rice. Good luck!!

My two are nearly 10 months can't quite believe it. Nearly time for the next car seat, although Harry is still only 16-17lb, so not sure if he is too small still, but he is tall and his head is popping out the top of the rear facing seat.
15/08/2007 at 13:50
x
15/08/2007 at 14:05
ye
16/08/2007 at 22:52
hello

Quick post as dying to get to bed!

Louise now 8lbs 8 - they grow up so quickly sob sob! She has a horrible rash all over her face, abdomen and shoulder but everyone putting it down to newborn rashes - milkspots or blocked pores basically. it's worst on her trunk bizarrely.

The nursing vests look quite good actually, may investigate.

Janie, you are lucky you aren't too lopsided, I am getting more ridiculous by the day. At 4am I managed to express 50ml from left boob and 160ml from the right. The right bra cup is strained beyond belief and the left is gaping.

We are still resisting dummy. i have two stashed in the cupboard but I have found so far that my finger will suffice for a wee while and that generally when I actually think about why she's crying, I realise that time has flown by and whilst I think she's just fed, it'll turn out to have been 3hrs since I started to feed her at least.

Escaped for the longest time so far tonight - went to see Harry Potter with some gym buddies. Andy coped really well and so did my mum who looked after Louise between me leaving and Andy getting home. He had to go via sainsburys to buy new nappies. I came to the conclusion that the size 1 nappies are now officially outgrown. Two poo leakage incidents in two days is two too many! Napisan works wonders though! I looked at her bottom and the width of the sort of inner flap bit and realised the two were exactly the same size so have moved her onto size 2. here's hoping it resolves the prob. I'm not entirely sure how you're supposed to judge it!

Right, beddy byes. Sorry have virtually forgotten how to talk like a normal person about things like food and bed and burping!
17/08/2007 at 10:43
Just a quickie while I can!

EF - Don't worry about the spots/rashes, they are so common - Hector has little white spots on his face and sometimes gets a little rash. Something to do with their pores not working efficiently enough just yet, so they grow out of it. I did notice a rash around his waist area the other week and realised I had hand washed his nappy wraps in soapy water, stopped using this soap and the rash went, maybe worth thinking about that, or any perfumes or creams you might be wearing yourself. A friend's baby had 'baby acne' which came and went very quickly, so it seems as if most people experience it to an extent.

I'm off to Mothercare to buy some vests in a bit, I'll let you know what they're like.
17/08/2007 at 13:53
Anyone got / using mothercare stair gates? The ones that sucker onto the wall?
Need to know if these work sufficiently pls.
Thx anyone.
Wishing all you ladies and babies well.
GMx
18/08/2007 at 12:30
Sorry GM, Kit isn't on the move yet so haven't started investigating stair gates yet! He had his first solids this morning! I made up far too much baby rice as wasn't sure how much he'd take but I think 1 teaspoon would have sufficed to start with. His little face looked so puzzled when hubby offered the loaded spoon to him - he wanted to grab it and pull it into his mouth himself which was rather messy, but he ended up eating about a teaspoonful in all which is great to start with. Took him a few goes to work out that he needed to swallow it - at first it kept dribbling out of his mouth and we had to keep spooning it back in!

EF, I think poo leakage incidents are kind of unavoidable whatever nappies you use! We still have them now and Kit is nearly 6 months! It's hard to find the 'perfect fit nappy' and even if you do, they then outgrow it. At the moment we're using Pampers Baby Dry size 3 - I tend to judge what size he needs by his weight but lots of the nappies are meant to fit such a wide range of sizes - I think the next size up (which we've tried but are too big at the moment) are 15-40lb which seems crazy. Kit mostly poos during feeds so I'm at home 90% of the time and can change him straight away before any accidents - but last week I had to go out and he hadn't pooed. Of course, as soon as I got into the department store I wanted to look in I heard the telltale bubbling, farty sound he makes and saw the look of concentration on his face. I peered up one leg of his shorts to see poo oozing out the side of his nappy and dribbling down his leg. I immediately opened the changing bag and whipped out a wipe, not thinking about what I'd do with it once I'd used it. Caught as much poo as I could then dashed frantically to the baby changing loo (up two floors!) still clutching pooey wipe in one hand! Must have looked so attractive!

I always thought that in many ways breastfeeding was the simpler option in terms of it always being available immediately, no need for sterilising equipment or hot water to heat feeds. But I guess it's not that straightforward even once it's established. At first I was a bit disappointed that I wasn't able to make it work and had to give up after only a week. But Kit is so happy and healthy and has followed his centile line perfectly so I'm certain that I made the right decision for him - and for me. I have huge respect for women who breastfeed successfully as I found it so hard and didn't enjoy it at all.
19/08/2007 at 10:17
GM I have bought a John lewis stair gate Lindam, beech wood and plastic grey colour. Seems to work well as Joshie loves standing at it and jumping up and down!!! Heaven help us!!!

Harry is still comando crawling, but moves very quickly, he can't get up to standing yet, but kneels. House is pretty safe now so feel slightly less fraught than the other day. But still loads of head bangs. Joshie pulled a dining room chair on top of Harry the other day when I turned my back for second, he has a big bruise above his eye.

I use motherease one-size washable nappies, with wrap covers and have never had any leaks, poo or wee (sorry if TFN)! Am so pleased with them and has saved us loads of money. Boys wear them from 7pm till 7am at night and we never have any problems. Only time we have had problems is with disposables when we go away for a weekend. I use tesco ones for these occasions.
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