Hi Brenda, I'm so glad I've just found your post. I'm not sure I can help but I wanted to add my sympathies, and my best wishes for getting it all sorted eventually
I am in a similar position to you - though it's not been going on quite that long.
I'm a bit worried because I'm reading your post thinking that I'm on the verge of the same long term problem as you and it doesn't sound too promising! I started getting heel pain badly about 3 months ago, though I'd had it on an off for a while and rest made it better previously. I'm sure I have both plantar fasciitis and achilles tendonitis/tendinopathy. Did the xray you had diagnose a heel spur? I've seen a GP and I've also paid money for sports therapist who has massaged and given stretches, which I've done. I'm not sure that either of these options has really got me anywhere so far. I've also iced, rolled with a bottle, stretched my calves etc.
The sports therapist gave me some squishy heel insoles but perhaps gel ones would be better? You say 'you're not sold' on them - it seems there are different opinions on this - has anyone any other thoughts? I imagine this may be what I'm offered next.
I'm also really worried about getting back running at all. Can anyone advise how you can tell when these things are better? A couple of times in the last few weeks I've thought it was getting better, but then comes back after just small amounts of exercise. I went on a dog walk yesterday and couldn't stand on it this morning, and have been hobbling around for most of the day! Yet last week I had no pain for several days. I haven't run since May really, which is very depressing as I'd just done my first marathon at the end of April!!!
Can anyone else advise exactly what exercise can and can't be done with this type of problem? Gentleman Gene - how does static stretching make it worse, and in that case, what should be done instead? The sports therapist said 'anything that isn't weight bearing' is ok and included cycling in this. However, the GP reckoned that cycling might exacerbate the achilles problems. I'm lifting weights but that's mostly upper and mid-body and like Brenda, I'm really struggling to keep my weight down now that I'm doing so much less aerobic exercise. I think that by the time I can get back running I'll be too fat to do it anyway 
Sorry, that's another long post and I am sure most of the advice for it has already been posted. However, I'm really glad to find someone in a similar position Brenda! I'm similar age to you (40).
Regards, Liz
Edited: 20/08/2012 at 21:01