You'll hate me for saying this, but if you're stacking on weight, you are eating too much.
Taper isn't about eating till you pop, its a very fine balance of getting your muscles full of glycogen for the race without over-eating. I put on weight last year in training, so was very careful this year. Now I'm tapering I've reduced my food volume to compensate for the reduced miles.
But I'm with you on the mad dreams. Mine favourite is ambling to the start, where everyone else is already running and not worrying because its all done on chip time, after all...