Gayle - whatever you decide, remember that everyone here understands and supports you. Why not keep hoping for the best, and give yourself a gentle trial run two or three days before the event, and decide on the basis of that? At least then you can say you tried your very best to the last possible sensible moment, and drop out with honour. And in the end, April 17 will soon be just another date in the past, and there will be lots more FLMs to come. Best of luck whatever you decide, and have a fantastic time on your wedding day.