Teenage Kicks

To echo one of the threads of another forum, possibly the most unpleasant aspect of increasing the training regime isn't the shin splints, or chaffing, or even the cold and wet, its the morons who feel compelled to give 'encouragement.'

Most of these retards are usually rigged out in Tommy Hilfinger and preparing for a life of underachievment and welfare handouts by hanging around street corners.

Now I don't want to sound like a mad conservative, but I would love to give 'em all a bloody sound thrashing to try to remove some of the stain of centuries of inter-breeding from our sceptured isle.

I know I am probably distracting them from their important tasks of throwing chip papers in the road, drinking cider or getting themselves in the mood to give us another statistic to confirm our position of highest rate of teenage pregnancy in Europe, but why carn't the runts think of anything more amusing than. 'Eh Mister, running's stupid, he, he, he!'

Its worse when Bevis & Butthead get their parents' Vauxhall Viva for a night of cruising, and buzz all the joggers, cyclists and other assorted taxpayers.

Sorry for the rant, but the little f*****ers are trying my patience, and its either getting it off my chest here or lamping the bastards!

A few of us were out training one night and we got the usual abuse so two of us grabbed an arm each of the ringleader and dragged him/it along at an ever increasing pace until he was absolutely knackered and then we let go, needless to say he did'nt bounce far. I appreciate that we don't always run in bunches but I really enjoyed that one.

Had a bad day Usksider?

I don't generate many comments but I was surprised by how much attention was generated when I trained with a shapely lass on one occasion. Whatever we men have to endure it is far worse for the ladies!

Great rant. Usksider. Absolutely brilliant. We obvioulsy live in the same area

Thanks Editor.

I like Mountaingoat's method of dealing with barrackers. Running vigilanties to make our streets safer! Great idea!

Another idea I've thought of is that similar to the one used in a 70's Lions tour to NZ. To combat the sheer unprovoked aggression of a particularly barbaric All Black squad, any member of the Lions being attacked would cry out "69", wherupon all 15 red jerseys would instantly pound the nearest Kiwi.

Since there seem to be dozens of fellow runners out when I'm bashing the streets, perhaps if we all adopted a similar code, at the first bit of moronic hecking a cry of "69" would mean a good scragging for the nearest shell-suited urchin.

The call was "99" actually!
A "69" call sounds rather dodgy ;-)

Sorry Mike, Freudian slip!

As a female runner I don't think shouting 69 whilst out running is a very good idea, unless I was being accompanied by some strapping blokes who wouldn't take it as an invitation.

Usksider your rant has given us such hilarity in the office. Obviously we all have these types of little s**ts living near us and what you described of their behaviour is uncannily true. What is really scarey is that often the girls are the most aggressive.
What is the world coming too!

C'mon, rise above the silly little turds.

They're in the same league as the lowlifes around here who think they're big and tough and well safe and all the rest of it because they can play their car stereos loud enough to make the road vibrate to the bass note.

Most of them will grow up into the ignominy of working-class respectability, sparkling clean houses, wallpaper with matching borders and neatly-trimmed front borders.

I do love Mountaingoat's suggestion. But I'm just nasty.

At least they didn't throw a firework at you

I had a firework thrown at me last year. Wasn't even running, just out doing a late afternoon house call.

It missed and went under my car.

I think I must be living in a bubble in north London suburbia. So far there hasn't been as much as a whiff of lowlives hanging around on street corners, and the only youths I've passed have moved aside to let me through - on one occasion one even said "Enjoy your run" as I whizzed past.

Other runners nod, smile, wave or wheeze encouragement and even passers-by have smiled. Haven't had any run-ins with dog-walkers (or their dogs!) and there even seems to be a remarkable absence of dog poo on the pavements - great now that the evenings are dark and you can't tell whether you've stepped in wet leaves or something altogether less pleasant.

I think I'll carry on living here forever!

Minkin, where do you live? I used to live in Crouch End, where running seems to be accepted (just not on the Broadway on a Saturday afternoon, but I should have known better). But then I moved to Finsbury Park, where running is obviously something you do to escape the police! I considered running with a video or DVD player under my arm to fit in...

I did get one "nice a*se" comment, and a bloke who wasn't looking where he was going till it was almost too late stepped out of my way with "Oh! Sorry, jogger." I wouldn't have minded but I was training for a marathon at that point and considered myself a runner!!

Minnie - I've just moved to Winchmore Hill/Grange Park (but I know Crouch End well: I get my hair cut there!) I used to live in Maida Vale, but got far more heckling there (in a supposedly 'des res' area). Know what you mean about Finsbury Park!!

Theres a lot of heckling in the norht west

thanks everyone!

you've all made my day! i live in south wales and get this sort of thing all the time.

i also run alone in the evening, so i stick to main roads (unfortunatly where most of these idiots hang out), and i take my dogs with me for safety.

the problem is they are 2 greyhounds (rescue - not racers), which as a breed are actually the laziest dogs on earth and they even moan when i drag them out with me. i take them purely for my safety as although they would not harm anyone, one of them will bark if i 'ask' him too by holding his collar, which is very reassuring for me on my own.

the downside of running with my greyhounds are the comments i get... funny as 1st but they are wearing a bit thin now.

they are usually one of the following...

"wicked!..training 'em for a race?" (usually from one of the aforementioned bumfluff youths)

"ooh...i bet they keep you fit" (usually from well meaning but highly irriating grannies that semm unable to make a comment AND keep walking)

"can you see the rabbit yet?" (usually from a jokey bloke - this type of comment doesn't help when i'm stuggling up the hill home!).

most people are well meaning, and i try to smile (grimmace), but as a girl i do feel vunerable when i get whisled at or laughed at.

it also interesting to note that although i do my shorter evening runs with my dogs i keep them on a short lead, and scoop the poop, but some other runners look at my like i'm to blame for dog mess! also when i'm just walking my dogs i always call them back and make sure they don't run after runners, or if they are on a lead pull them to one side to stop the 'stretchy lead across the road' problem. few runners say thanks or even nod in my direction. no wonder some non - runners give us a hard time.

anyway thanks for cheering me up!

sian

Thanks for controlling the dogs.

I think the best comment I've had was from a walker who said to me,
"nice place for a jog"

This would have been quite pleasant but for the fact I was six miles into a hard, hilly session in the pi***ng rain!