Slowkoala - I absolutely share your problem.
I'm in the whole process of trying to understand what my race pace actually is. I know full well that in the two races i've completed, I had more left in the tank at the end so I just have gone quicker. The question is, how quick? I have moments of self doubt during the race that i'm moving too quickly and that i'll either not finish the race or i'll be too burnt out to do the final couple of K in any sort of decent time. So as you say, if your training isn't at your race pace, how on earth do you ascertain what your race pace either is or should be (your target).
Perhaps this can be garnered to some extent by your heart rate readings? For example, if I run a "steady" training 10k in 48 minutes at an average bpm of 152 one week and then a month or too later it's down to 46 minutes at the same rate, is there a forumla to use to devise a new tagrte for your 10k race pace, given your previous personal best?