Dating a Triathlete

1 to 20 of 22 messages
08/06/2012 at 13:15

No idea if this has been posted before, but I found it funny. Although after reading this I do wonder if Cake married me just for my nutrition knowledge... 

Dating a triathlete

I am an outdoors type of person

Really means: I train in any type of weather. If it's raining, snowing, 90 degrees w/100 percent humidity, or winds gusting at 30 mph. I don't want to hear any complaints because I will still train in it and you're just a big wuss for complaining about it.

I enjoy riding my bike

Really means: with or w/o aero bars, alone or in a peleton, I don't care. If you can't do a spur of the moment 30 miler then you're not my type. I will let you draft, but if you can't hang and I drop you - I will see you later. I am a capable mechanic, but don't expect me to change your flats or tune your bike. You need to learn that on your own.

I enjoy jogging

Really means: Let's run hills until we puke. I have just as many shoes as you only mine are better because they are functional and all look the same. 

I enjoy quiet walks on the beach 

Really means: Walks on the beach warming up into an 8 mile run and then plunging myself in the ocean for a 2 miler. If you get in my way you're going to find out what mass start is and let me assure you that you don't want to find out. 

I enjoy sharing quiet moments together

Really means: It's taper time. Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am worried about my "A" race and can't workout. 

Edited: 08/06/2012 at 13:18
08/06/2012 at 13:20

I am an active person

Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job, and the 8 mandatory hours of sleep a night. 10 hours a week are devoted to me during the off-season and 20 during race season leaving us 4 hours. 2 of which are spent inhaling food and you not talking to me, so let's make the best of the 2 hours we will spend together on average each day. If you are a licensed message therapist or doctor this would make the most optimal use of our time together. Nutritionist is also acceptable, but I probably already know just as much as you. 

I like stimulating conversation

Really means: while we are running, we can talk about food. Then we can talk about how we decided what to wear on this run based on the temperature at start time versus the temperature at the time we expect to finish, how horribly out of shape we are, how many miles we did last week, and how many we will do this week and next week. Then we can talk about food. 

I enjoy relaxing soaks in the tub

Really Means: I'm going to stop on the way home and buy two bags of ice, throw them in the tub with some water, and sit in this torture chamber for 30 minutes. 

I'm interested in photography

Really Means: My camera is permanently perched a tripod in front of my trainer. I obsess over taking photos of my bike position and analyzing them to get the perfect setup. 


Edited: 08/06/2012 at 13:20
08/06/2012 at 13:29
08/06/2012 at 14:52

hahahahaha!!!! i love this!!!

my personal addition is

I have loads of different interests

I will chat about the brownlees, helen jenkins, lance, chrissie, new training ideas, carb loading, Kona, my bike, compression kit et al. If you dare give me the "do i look bovvered" eyes, i will drop kick you.

Lee the Pea    pirate
08/06/2012 at 15:02

Hehehehe, love it!

Lee the Pea    pirate
08/06/2012 at 15:03

p.s fear not Booky, he married you because of your cake-baking skills 

08/06/2012 at 15:05

I knew it!

Rafiki    pirate
08/06/2012 at 15:19

All seems perfectly reasonable to me...don't see what all the fuss is about

08/06/2012 at 15:24


Slightly worried about how much of this sounds like my future though

Golden Boots    pirate
08/06/2012 at 15:27


Another addition

I like to take care of myself
I wax my legs and undercarriage every fortnight, spend countless hours trying to raise onto my calfs in front of the mirror thinking I have the legs of Lance Armstrong, and though I appear to have an even, sexy golden tan... I look pretty ridiculous naked as actually I reveal a ghost-white torso and backside.

I enjoy cooking
If pasta and sauce / protein shakes / porridge... in large quantities are your thing... then you will enjoy me cooking for you

Golden Boots    pirate
08/06/2012 at 15:28

Just in case there are any single ladies out there... just so you know... I fill all of the above

Lee the Pea    pirate
08/06/2012 at 15:39

You'll be beating them off with a shitty stick after those confessions GB

Orca    pirate
08/06/2012 at 15:43

Absolutely Brilliant. Copying and sending to hubby right now. Hope he finds it funny

Trogs    pirate
08/06/2012 at 15:55

Golden Boots    pirate
08/06/2012 at 15:56
Lee the Pea wrote (see)

... with a shitty stick...


Running Postie    pirate
08/06/2012 at 18:46

Love it, soo true and sooo funny!

08/06/2012 at 18:54
Nurse Ratched    pirate
09/06/2012 at 08:00

These make me giggle

Can't seem to put links in, so it's good old cut & paste 


ChallengeGoGoGas    pirate
09/06/2012 at 12:09
Nurse good old fashion code for links is

[ u r l ] insert hyperlink here but remove ALL spaces [ / u r l ]

Make sure no capital letters between the square brackets
Edited: 09/06/2012 at 12:11
09/06/2012 at 13:20

Could this explain the forum's track record for couples?

A lot of my first dates with Smiffy involved running or cycling....but then one of the first times we actually met we spent 13 hours running together....if we became friends after that then I guess we're suited!
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