Dear Dr Psycho

or Barlos to his shipmates

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26/04/2012 at 20:24

Dear Dr Psycho

I had a dream that I had a bad reaction to a piece of paper waved under my nose.
It made me react by investigating swimming lessons, and pool availability.
The worst of it was that I dreamed that I ended up standing on a windswept beach surrounded by hordes of people in yellow lycra with the logo of skull and crossbones going "Aaargh!"

I used to be a runner, and after 2 years in remission I felt I was recovered.
I discovered cycling and realised that 65 miles left me with no reaction (other than an inability to sit down).

I have an inate fear of the water. I fear that I might
a) get clean
b) sign an application form by accident

Is there any help?

M...eldy    pirate
26/04/2012 at 20:30
In short?   No






resistance is futile.
seren nos    pirate
26/04/2012 at 20:40
I could help with the inability to sit down
26/04/2012 at 20:42

What? Remove the saddle from the bike so it doesn't cause ahem "contact damage".

26/04/2012 at 21:37
You're not even trying to cling on by your finger nails now are you?!! HaHaHa!!!
Kanga (M.)    pirate
26/04/2012 at 22:03
Jump, jump, jump, jump
27/04/2012 at 20:17

Did 2 sports today.

6 miles jog. Yes a dead slow 9m/m jog. I'm aware that getting any level of running fitness back will take a long-ish time.

Then.....

I....

Swam...

Shocked? I was.

My target was 16 lengths of crawl. I failed.
I did 2 lengths (nearly) before catching a mouthful and losing it. I'm far more relaxed in breast stroke or even lady stroke. Every now and again I'd convince myself to have another go at crawl for a length.
So, 16 lengths in 16 minutes. Underwhelmed, to say the least.
Then I thought about having spent £4.40 to get in and decided that I needed to do another set.
32 lengths in...32 minutes. That's a PB!
Half a mile swimmed, with maybe 7 lengths on crawl.

So 152 lengths at that pace will take me 32 minutes longer than cut off............

Way to go!

A LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG way to go.

M...eldy    pirate
27/04/2012 at 20:22
Lol!  Its like starting from scratch ... the swimming will likely be the most difficult as it is mainly technique based

Dependant on your learning style I would start by looking at the www.swimsmooth.com website which I found quite useful

The old running advice of 'slow down' also applies to swimming

Keep at it, its great fun 
27/04/2012 at 20:23
Valiant effort Blisters!!!! Well done...
27/04/2012 at 20:47
M...eldy wrote (see)
Lol!  Its like starting from scratch ... the swimming will likely be the most difficult as it is mainly technique based

Dependant on your learning style I would start by looking at the www.swimsmooth.com website which I found quite useful

The old running advice of 'slow down' also applies to swimming

Keep at it, its great fun 

er M..eldy, I am indeed learning from scratch.
Your advice to slow down made me snort coffee over the laptop.... Any slower and my feet hit the floor. Has anyone been hauled out of a 400m swim for being too slow?
Edited: 27/04/2012 at 20:48
M...eldy    pirate
27/04/2012 at 20:49

okay then .... speed up   

Dustboy    pirate
27/04/2012 at 22:42
At least in open water you don't have to turn around at each end. And when a fish tickles your bits or a weed brushes your ear, you'll go off like a torpedo anyway...)))

Kick enough to keep your legs up top, also stops you dragging in the water..
28/04/2012 at 00:06

Children take around 9 months to a year to learn how to walk. It's all about putting the hours in. So far I think I've not even reached the bum shuffle stage with my swimming. However, there has been progress over the past 5 years.

Just not much.

I am prepared to try.

That's the difference.

Dustboy    pirate
28/04/2012 at 00:12
Bum shuffle?
28/04/2012 at 00:42

Before a child walks they shuffle across the floor on their bum.
Just watch a pirate gathering in the pub after a few beers.

My "swimming" is at the stage where I need to be taught how to do it.
I know that.

I have asked the two expert swimmers in our house to help, and they were unsympathetic. I suppose keel hauling is out of the question?

28/04/2012 at 09:30

Meldy is right - most people do windmill their arms and would do better if they were to slow them down.

Do you have access to a pull buoy? It will hold your legs up while you concentrate on getting your arms right, but it is best to only use them for a few lengths as some people use them too much and then never learn how to swim without them.

seren nos    pirate
28/04/2012 at 09:35
thats me caz ......my legs are a liability....

blisters...you are an athlete.get in a race even now and you would swim twice as fast as you wouldn't want to be overtaken by any of us
28/04/2012 at 10:06
ex-hafleet if you please.
28/04/2012 at 11:15

I'm not competitive, not one bit.

Wifey just did the 2.5km swimathon in 60 minutes.

16yo daughter (who doesn't train at all now) did it in 46 minutes.

feck

TR
28/04/2012 at 13:52

Blisters - nice to see you back to some sports. I'd advise you to take that headband off when you swim, its sucking up water and slowing you down !

The swimming takes a bit of time to improve, I'm still carp but I get out the lake with about 50% of the folks ahead of me now rather than 75% of them.

TR
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