Claude Butler San Remo £299.00. No idea what it's like but apparently Evans do them and basic entry level treader.
Make sure your tyres colour match your wheels and shades must be ubercool. Gloves with fingers missing make you look like you know what you are doing to Joe Public, especially if you leave them on in the run. When you stand to pedal, make your bike rock from side to side to look like Power God, get Ironman tri bars to make you look like you can do one. Say words like carbon weave, wattage, 12/25, titanium and century rides.
Don't run in cycling shorts though, like running with a poo in your pants as a nipper. Don't mount bike in transition, people shout at you, do consider piracy, people shout at you louder and insult you too.
Above all, everyone is there for themselves and to join in, no-one gives a cr4p about whether your kit is worse or better than theirs. I followed a couple of lads for 4 laps of Dorney Lake, couldn't catch them at all and they spent the whole time yakking about the state of the world.