Ironman Lanzarote 2013 (3rd weekend in May?)

Entries Open 19th May 2012?

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Lee the Pea    pirate
05/06/2013 at 17:37
Bungles wrote (see)

Well Lee, Bungles is actually a girl and I'm known as that as I'm so bloody clumsy!

Oh sorry Bungles! 

05/06/2013 at 17:42

No worries Lee! That's the beauty of the interweb you can be whoever you want

will post a race report when I get a few minutes

07/06/2013 at 13:34

here you go bungles.....

19/06/2013 at 22:36

On the thinly disguised excuse of posting a few links:


I feel like a slightly naughty schoolchild submitting a piece of late homework.

Preamble: I'd had a fairly solid block of run training, but really wasn't feeling the love for the bike.  Lousy winter weather didn't help and I ducked too many sessions where I should have HTFU'd.  Saturday mornings with Dorking Masters meant my swim hadn't deteriorated but I hadn't made much progress.

I travelled out on the Thursday evening to the pirate camp at Club Oceana, which on reflection was a mistake, I ended up missing out on an evening meal (and pre-race briefing) and meant that Friday was a bit full on getting over to registration at Club La Santa, a 30 odd euro taxi fare.  Happily I met the Cupcakes there and got to share a taxi back. 

Bike assembly, filling transition bikes (which is where the awful reality of what is about to come solidifies for me) and finally carting it all down to transition.  Having racked, a select Piratey group retired to (one of the many) Irish bars on the strip to ogle the bike porn being racked and to laugh at the unfortunate fools hanging their bike transition bags next to their run bags.

Race day Following the traditional pre-race not very relaxed nights sleep I beat the alarm clock to the 5am wake up call.  Up and on with the factor 50 P20 and as is obligatory under these circumstances I attempted the naked shimmy (TM Mellifera), but it was a tough audience in the mirror and I don't think they were impressed.  Breakfast (indestructible croissant and jam) consumed , and it's time to plug in the noisy music to start to wind up the attitude.  Down to transition, rip open Nakd bars in the bento box and borrow a track pump from the COLT supporters.  More noisy music.  Wetsuit on and then down to the practice area.  The light is not particulary good so I wander a fair way up the beach to find an area with fewer swimmers.  The water is not arctic and the visibility is wonderful, I immediately feel more relaxed about the swim.

19/06/2013 at 22:39

Swim (1:19:16): Having been very swum over and then a subsequent wobbly moment at Outlaw last year I lined up among the nervous Nerys brigade a fair way back, the calm start was compromised by around seven of us all attempting to pick a turn point around 5 metres outside of the first buoy.  I backed off and spent rest of the first lap taking a fairly wide line which meant a quiet life.  It's a fairly easy course to navigate with a continuous line of floats on the inside of the course and the rescue boats on the outside. 


The exit of the first lap was a little congested, if only because the guide ropes bunched everyone up.  Second lap was a bit of rinse and repeat, although having congratulated myself for selecting clear goggles on lap one I was now cursing on lap two as swimming out left on the first long straight it was nigh on impossible to sight.  The outside edge of both laps was where the swell was worst and I was pleased to turn back towards the rainbow that was marking roughly where the exit of the swim was.  Visibility was excellent, I thought I only needed to check the beach to my right and the swimmers to the left.  Obviously I must have been channeling the spirit of Candy (the Pirate King) as I managed to headbutt one of the support kayaks.  D'oh.  As per the other reports out of the water (1:19:16) just behind Barley and just in front of Pingu.

T1 (11:04): I didn't think I hung around but it's a bit of a drag from the beach to the road where the bikes are stored.  I used my own sunscreen rather than relying on the volunteers as I was packing factor 50.  Had I asked I would have found that was what is was they were packing.  I carried shoes and socks up to the tarmaced bit and was happy to see there were a number of buckets for washing sand off feet.

19/06/2013 at 22:42

Bike (8:11:05): Rain?  Who ordered the rain?  The start of the bike is quite gentle, I'm avoiding all the road markings and tiptoeing round the roundabouts.  It's windy, on the first proper climb out to Yaiza (which doesn't look to be a proper hill) I run out of gears (no more toys in the toy box) I'm contemplating jumping out of the saddle and I'm in a mix of some rather large gentlemen. A draft buster comes past on a motorcycle and politely suggests she'd like to see some bigger gaps between us all.  I drop back and am quite grateful, it's now a question of managing effort than attacking the course.

I'll defer to the previous reports, the course takes you across most of the island and the further I go the better I think I'm going.  I'm channeling a history of grinding up the Surrey hills, Symes comes past me and fills me in on some of the other pirates he's seen.  I stop thinking about any sort of time and work to rpm, anything below 70 and change down, if I hit bottom gear then just try to keep it as easy as possible.  The wind is still horrible as you drop off the top of the climbs the crosswinds are seriously worrying, do you try to power through or hit the brakes?  I mostly do the latter.

At one point the wind finally drops, but within 30 seconds I seem to be melting, comedy droplets of sweat running off me.  I happened to be passing Barley at the time and he seemed to be in an even worse situation due to the aero helmet.  Happily (?) the wind kicks back in shortly afterwards.  As has been mentioned elsewhere I don't quite know what heinous crimes the inhabitants of Nazaret may have committed but by the harshness of the roads they've been cursed with it must have been something terrible.  My crap descending skills were confirmed when I was passed by most of the people I overtook on the final 'pig track' descent towards PdC.


Edited: 19/06/2013 at 22:44
19/06/2013 at 22:52

T2 (12:00): I was Just happy to get off the bike, shoes off to allow running through transition, but everyone around me is walking.  Pick up bag and into the change tent.  Sit to change shoes, caffeine gel, more sunscreen, socks and bodyglide and out for  

Run (4:32:21): I'd posted a 4:00'ish run at Brighton which I thought was about an IM pace effort. I started the run at about this pace (and as reported ran away from Funkin on his final lap), but I seemed to be an exception to the rule in that most of the field seemed to be walking.  Those that were running seemed to have the mythical two bands (i.e. on their final lap), but were good targets to pace off.  I was feeling relatively OK, but as the first out lap stretched out to the airport I started to falter, I switched to walking and necked a whole cup of iso which seemed to work to get me back on track. 

Inward long loop completed without too much trauma and I'd picked up a couple of gels.  My half arsed pre-race plan had called for a gel every half hour.  Whatever was printed on the front of the packet was a bare face lie, it was industrial chemical flavour.  The out and back course was great to be able to pirate spot.  Dermot and Symes were both going well, I think I caught Pingu on the second lap and we compared our respective stomach washing machine status, really nice to see Mouse and Meldy out on the run and I think I also managed to spot ITB and Hokori. 

Lap two I'm introduced to my most favourite Spanish word, 'esPONGja' which is a sponge.  Most competitors opt for an over the shoulder insertion, but there is at least one male athlete who's opted for the false breasts option. The wheels started to drop off towards of the end of lap two (possibly not helped by lack of gels at aid stations), but I was just full. I was only sucking on orange segments at aid stations, but I would seem to arrive to find some other competitor chain sucking, I don't know whether it was the same person or if there's a plan I haven't come across.  The splits suggest I rallied slighly on the final in loop, but it seems I still managed to stuff up the finish as I there were three of us within a short period which meant I still do not have a 'in the moment' finish picture.

Post: I tell the medics I'm fine and then 5 minutes later I regret the decision, horribly nauseous.  Having visited all of the tents that don't serve food I find the one I want and am then nonplussed by the fact that the hot drinks machine doesn't do tea.  As I'm sat on the bench drinking hot chocolate watching people decamp from T2 I see a line of wedgies (high heels) walk past outside the fencing, it kind of sums up Lanza.  Back to the apartment and 750ml of rego confirms I'm seriously thirsty.

Observations:  If you're going to be based in Puerto Del Carmen then consider hiring a car (daily rates in town are dirt cheap), arrive before Thursday and if you've skimped on the cycling then consider (even if you've got a compact) sticking a 28 on the rear.  Huge thanks to the other sailors/supporters on the ship it was a blast.

19/06/2013 at 22:53

 oops slightly longer than anticipated

M...eldy    pirate
20/06/2013 at 07:58

Nice report 

20/06/2013 at 08:08

 Well done mate.  

Bouncing Barlist    pirate
20/06/2013 at 08:34

Great report Ferrett, you really must have tiptoed down the donkey track, you'd pulled away out of sight from me over the last 5-10 miles.  I even stopped before the donkey track for a pee and still caught you up in PDC

Good running.

Any more reports still to come? I love reading them.

seren nos    pirate
20/06/2013 at 08:41

Thats a good run time for somoene whose wheels fell off............well done FeFe

20/06/2013 at 10:43

Well done Ferret!  
I hope your bog is ok and not leaking!!  

20/06/2013 at 11:08

Another late race report, but that's mainly because I DNF!

I'd completed IM Austria in 2011 in 15hrs so for my next effort I knew I could go faster but when thinking about where to go for my next IM going faster didn't seem to appeal so I though "I know I'll do one where I don't think I'll be able to finish!" Genius!! After a year off in 2012 due to not being able to get time off work due to the Olympics (although I did manage to sneak away to do Escape from Alcatraz, awesome race) 2013 was the year of the Lanza!,

After entering my personal life fell apart with a divorce, 2 house moves and much emotional angst which was not great when trying to train sabout its not supposed to be easy but I'd made it even harder. A week away to Lanza in Feb to have a look at the bike course (my weakest part) made me have a huge meltdown and I considered pulling out......but didnt.

Roll on May I was out for a friends birthday the week before in Calero before relocating to Club Oceano on the Wednesday. I'd had such a crap time with my cycling and my race bike being so uncomfortable I'd brought my winter bike with a triple on it such was my confidence about doing the bike. Every day leading up to the race I thought about pulling out, I hadn't trained enough, I felt done in, I had a crap bike, everyone looked so fit, every negative thought filled my head so when I lined up on the Saturday I was beaten before I began.


20/06/2013 at 11:16

Swimming is my best discipline but I don't like biff so lined up towards the back. I felt ok, saw my partner who was doing kayak support and waved twice such was the seriousness of the event and landed back on the beach in 1:17. Not too shabby. Into the furthest transition tent ever, all the blokes were in the ladies changing tent ( which was the size of a teepee) so I stripped off naked anyway and gave everyone a real treat.

onto the bike, the weather has been well documented but was pretty crap and onto bike part of the bike route I had done out to Calero, onto Yaiza then the El Golfo loop. It was windy but not too bad and I was feeling ok. Over fire mountain which was a drag then things started to go wrong with the drop down to La Santa and Famara which had a massive headwind and I was going nowhere fast. My average speed had dropped and I was by now in my little ring. Loads of people were passing me but at the same time stretches of the road I was alone. I started to have a little blub to myself and by then I was gone. 

I got to halfway in 4.5hrs too long for the cutoff I though as the hardest was yet to come. I saw my supporters in Teguise told them I was getting off which I did then cried  like a big girls blouse......and that was it!

20/06/2013 at 11:20

I went back to the apartment got changed and went to cheer in the others. I saw Iron Pingu (who I had met at bike racking) go out into the run looking good! I felt sad but not distraught. My overwhelming feeling was that I hadn't trained hard enough and that I hadn't deserved to finish.

Over a month later I still feel the same. I will go back to Lanza as I don't like being beaten but will leave it for a while so I can improve my bike.

Well done to fall who finished, it is a brutal race which deserves respect.

20/06/2013 at 11:23

Sorry about spelling mistakes, IPad seems to have gone mental!!

Rafiki    pirate
20/06/2013 at 11:38

Doh! I was out of the swim in 1:17 too, but didn't see no naked ladies!!

But bad luck Bungles - just wasn't your day! I'm sure you'll nail it next time!!

Lee the Pea    pirate
20/06/2013 at 11:52

Great report Ferret, and you two Bungles.  You'll be back to beat the course i'm sure


Bouncing Barlist    pirate
20/06/2013 at 12:21

Bungles, you will indeed be back, I like your approach to entering something that you dont know youll finish.

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