Not taken seriously

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14/11/2013 at 15:25

I started running around 8 months ago, at which point I couldn't run for  3seconds without blowing outta my arse. Now I run 5k, 10k and half marathon distances and running my first marathons next year. thing is, when I started all I got was smirks and rolling eyes from my wife and told I'd never stick at it, that is was just a fad, I kinda proved her wrong on that one and she's generally supportive nowadays when I'm doing an event, but thinks I should be doing something different when I'm training...like cleaning the house, washing etc. Now I've mentioned doing triathlon and the smirking and rolling eyes are back, what I never get is told is what a great idea, just that I can hardly swim, why would I want to do triathlon. Anyone else get less than full support? I've entered my first tri event but haven't told her yet as I'll get the tuts and rolling eyes.

cougie    pirate
14/11/2013 at 15:34
I can hardly swim too - I still manage triathlon.

Get the marathon out of the way and then enter a triathlon maybe - thats some improvement from nothing.

(tri is not cheap though - so you may need to factor in presents for her too)
14/11/2013 at 15:37

Yeah Dump the wife

14/11/2013 at 15:45

Do you still do your share around the house though?

Your OH is entitled to be less than supportive if you're going off and doing something which gives you enjoyment while she's left with all the chores.

 

14/11/2013 at 15:54

Give her the hoof then you can concentrate properly on improving your swim stroke  Seriously i have a very understanding wife who realises that endurance sport and challenges are what makes me tick and makes me happy. That said i pill my weight a  with the domestic stuff and also do 80% of the cooking cause she hates it, shes a computer geek which leaves me cold but horses for courses i support her hobby as she does mine i am a lucky chap

14/11/2013 at 15:58

Justplodon, your message made me laugh out loud.  I'm a mum of two, I work full time and my hubby is also not very supportive.  At least your wife, musters up the energy to make some kind of reaction.  When I come back from a run, my husband doesn't say a word.  I've entered into my first London Marathon next year and hubby wasn't too impressed at first.  I did have to sit him down and have a quiet word, as when you're doing all this training, you do need to have a little bit of encouragement from your loved one.   When I'm running home from work he is collecting the kids.  He doesn't ask me how the run went but he has helped me by getting the children.   I call this my silent support!  I suppose your wife is probably doing the house chores whilst you are training, so I can understand why she's not too happy.  I think you and I have something in common in that we are fitness fanatics married to those who are not.  Imagine if she also was into trainig like you and when you both got home from a run, the house was a tip and you had to cook your own dinner!  I agree with Cougie, us women love pressies!  Go and treat her and thank her for supporting you.    I make sure that on a weekend I take the kids to their activies, so my husband can't complain when I disappear for several hours.  He however will just sit and watch tele, as I pay for cleaner anyway!    It's a partnership, give and take.  You just need to make sure you make up for the hours you spend away....I'm sure a pair of shoes will do it...! good luck with your training.

14/11/2013 at 16:04
justplodon wrote (see)

she thinks I should be doing something different when I'm training...like cleaning the house, washing etc.

 

ghost of kittenkat wrote (see)

That's grounds for a divorce! 

 

it is indeed.

14/11/2013 at 16:15

I would say I talked with hubby before I jumped on the HIM ship - about the time it would involve etc.  How his job was to get me to the event in one piece and be all supportive and my job was to work my arse off so I could get to the end

We split the cleaning half ways and he does the cooking as he enjoys that and finds it relaxing.   He is just happy I am out of the house and enjoying life and setting myself goals and achieving them.  

Could you not draw up a training schedule to show her where you will be and what you will be doing so she can plan her time effectively?  Also setting aside a day where no training occurs that is family time is also very healthy

14/11/2013 at 17:11

when I first met my wife, she rolled her eyes at me across a bar, I rolled them back.

i'm here all week

14/11/2013 at 17:14

it's not that I don't pull my weight, I always do my bit, it's just she isn't sporty at all and the few occasions when she's had a go at something ie zumba, the gym, running, she hasn't stuck at it. I try to fit training in when it'll have the least impact, like first thing in the morning after a night shift but that doesn't always work. she is supportive when I'm actually taking part in an event, she did say she was proud when I completed my first half this year, but when it comes to training its oh no not again lol. when I told her my marathon training starts soon she said there's no end to this is there? lol. how do I approach the subject of me doing an IM in 2015?! Pipski, well done getting a spot in VLM! that's an achievement in itself lol.

14/11/2013 at 17:15

the old ones are always the best JP lol

14/11/2013 at 17:48

 

 

justplodon wrote (see)

it's not that I don't pull my weight, I always do my bit, it's just she isn't sporty at all and the few occasions when she's had a go at something ie zumba, the gym, running, she hasn't stuck at it. I try to fit training in when it'll have the least impact, like first thing in the morning after a night shift but that doesn't always work. she is supportive when I'm actually taking part in an event, she did say she was proud when I completed my first half this year, but when it comes to training its oh no not again lol. when I told her my marathon training starts soon she said there's no end to this is there? lol. how do I approach the subject of me doing an IM in 2015?! Pipski, well done getting a spot in VLM! that's an achievement in itself lol.


In that case Pipski and Buttercup have made some good suggestions. If it is going to be part of your life from now on she'll come to accept it as long as you play fair by her.

14/11/2013 at 18:31

Maybe she was fed up with you blowing out your arse when you first started. Doesn't sound too pleasant.

M...eldy    pirate
14/11/2013 at 19:04

I would say if there are problems and eye rolling now then the chances of that improving the more training you do are pretty slim  

14/11/2013 at 19:27

Stick at marathon training then transition into triathlon will be slightly easier. Swimming lessons over winter will help tri and be an easy recovery running day.

you could always trade your wife in on eBay for a nice road bike 

14/11/2013 at 19:44

ahh good ol screamapillar. find the silver lining and she'll show you the cloud.

14/11/2013 at 20:05

What are you talking about Mr Incomprehensible? I never did anything of the sort.

14/11/2013 at 20:38

blowing out of my arse, a term we used to use in the army...when getting paid to run wasn't quite as much fun lol.

14/11/2013 at 20:52

Join up again get sent on deployment train to your hearts content

14/11/2013 at 23:06

Mmm...been there done that divorced 6 years.  I took up running and lost 45lbs ex wife has continued to gain weight I think.

If you're doing all the things you should be doing at home and yet when you want to do something for your self it's not ok, you have to stand back and ask yourself why.

Does your wife have any interests or hobbies?  Does she get an equivalant amount of time to herself.

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