Pirate Records, Rankings and Shieldholders

the history book and hall of fame

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12/12/2005 at 11:47
Obviously we need a hall of fame, and I was sufficiently bored on my long ride last saturday to come up with a pirate rank system based upon experience

HALL OF FAME (Record holders)

IM Captain Rosey (10:30)
Double IM ---
IM 1st Mate Monique (11:5X)?
Double IM ---

SHIELD HOLDERS (until the next official annual Pirate IM competition - IMDE2006)

Fastest Finisher 145: Junior Pirate Count (due to being fast)
Best Novice 145: Semen Barlist (due to vote rigging by Jj)

The Rank system. On a points basis, where only IM distance or longer counts for points. Its not a knitting club. 1 point per IM finish. 1 bonus point for doing the extra hard ones (norseman, lanzarote and [but only if you get in by the honourable route, qualification] hawaii). 2 points for double IM finish. 1 bonus point for every time you win a shield or set a record (above). 1 bonus point for becoming "reasonably competent" (i.e. the first time you crack 12 hours). 1 bonus point for becoming "outstanding" (i.e. the first time you crack 10 hours). -1 point for a DNF (its not a quitting club). Note that if you miss cut off but still finish the course (even if it takes 20 hours) then you still get the point.


0 landlubber
1 scurvey dog
2 seaman
3 junior pirate
4 pirate
5 2nd mate
6 1st mate
7 commander
8 captain
9 admiral
10 admiral (2 parrots)
11 admiral (3 parrots) etc
15 pirate king blackbeard

eg, barlist = 2 finish - 1 dnf + 1 shield = 2

TC = 1 finish + 1 shield + 1 reasonably competent = 3

Mo = 3 finish + 1 reasonably competent + 1 record + 1 bonus hawaii = 6

Rosey = 5 finish + 1 reasonably competent + 1 record + 1 bonus norseman = 8
AndrewSmith    pirate
12/12/2005 at 11:49
what about points for being in 'official' race dvd's, a point a second should be about right.
12/12/2005 at 11:51
you forgot to add bonus points for

being fat
being over 50

12/12/2005 at 11:53
hang on, 7 finish + 1 reasonably competent + 1 hawaii bonus = 9

blimey, what a coincidence, i'm an admiral, who would have thought it?

FB - you're a scurvey dog, and a scurvey dog you will remain until you return to battle.
cougie    pirate
12/12/2005 at 11:55
Any bonus points for Pringle eating ?
12/12/2005 at 11:58
probably a deduction. it has to be a travesty that barlist isn't a scurvey dog. i demand a recount.
cougie    pirate
12/12/2005 at 12:00
Awww dammit. You need a very flexible tongue and huge appetite - that's gotta be worth points !
12/12/2005 at 12:00
I'd like to have semen by the end of the year.
12/12/2005 at 12:14
you've only got 19 days to get working on it then
12/12/2005 at 12:15
but at least one office party, presumably
12/12/2005 at 12:19
this year = next year

I'm sure I will be shot down but 1 point for a sub 2.45 mara for men and sub 3 for women?

I'm with FB about 25 points being awarded for being fat.
M...eldy    pirate
12/12/2005 at 12:22
shouldnt that be an orifice party??
12/12/2005 at 12:22
semen was an intentional typo btw
12/12/2005 at 12:23
nah, what's a marathon got to do with it? thats the first step on a slippery slope to awarding points for other girl events such as half IM and olympic tris, and 5k fun runs.

IM or longer, 1 point per event plus the odd bonus here and there.
12/12/2005 at 12:33
Well feather me timbers, I'm a scurvey dog.
12/12/2005 at 12:36
get to the double IM at levis, finish before i do, and you'll be a pirate and a record holder to boot, pebble.
12/12/2005 at 12:36
Nice intentional typo, Gumps.

did you intend it to be read just after Cougie's post?
12/12/2005 at 12:37
hang on, i set mine out wrong. i get a lanzarote bonus not a hawaii bonus. same answer though, except of course i'm cr@p
12/12/2005 at 12:39
lol - you'll notice that Jj rigged barlist's semen in the first post.

rigging in the rigging
rigging in the rigging
rigging in the rigging
there's **** all else to do
12/12/2005 at 12:40
Ironman training, Dilbert style.
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