Not a pirate, but any chance to have a moan or join a list!
Ailments
Left knee - ITBS
Right knee - (suspect) platella tendonitis
Both calves - torn
Lungs - remnants of icky infection
Skin - being dissolved by pool
Action - change in foot position on bike for ITBS, seems to have worked, PT will have to wait for deep tissue massage when my calves are less painful, infection is slowly departing, and plenty of moisturiser for the skin!