How to tell your friends and family that you are going to run a 100 miler!

Personally I'm at the stage where I don't care what the present Mrs Rocker thinks or says.... hence it's not a problem LOL. My mother panics when I tell her i'm doing a half marathon, so introducing her to the concept of ultras this year has been interesting - but to be fair I tend not to listen to her anyway 'cos she's barmy

I agree that I don't actually care what people think about what I am doing ... if they think I am crazy or stupid to actually want to (and possibly enjoy) doing a 100-miler - bear in mind have entered my first but obviously not completed one yet ... then that is their problem not mine.  I've found friends and family to be fairly unsurprised and reasonably supportive, but do do the whole 'I've found something that looks perfect' conversation, enter it, and then do the 'you know I told you all about it' as mentioned above.  I guess I come from a background of rock-climbing and mountaineering pre-kids though so my family are quite used to me doing things that potentially scare the pants of them!

Obviously the biggest thing is the impact of the training on rest of the family.  In our house hubby works away all week so is only home at weekends, the children are five and seven so still wholly dependant on having an adult around, I work part-time random hours so I try and do as much training as I can during the week in the morning and regularly turn up at pre-school pick-up off the back of four hours getting randomly lost somewhere!  Thankfully hubby has recently got into road biking and now regularly heads off for 5-6 hours on a Sat or Sun morning with friends to do this, so I don't feel that me heading out for a few hours of my own at some point is unreasonable. It has taken a while to reach this point though and when I first started doing ultras the resentment was quite high, but the kids were much younger too.

All of this means my approach to training has to be very flexible though, no way I can get hung up about missing an important 'training' session although I do occasionally throw my toys out the pram with frustration. Haven't manage to persuade family to come and support me yet, but then equally I view my escapades as an opportunity to escape domesticity for a weekend (or a day) and remind myself of how I was before the family came along.

Just tell the wife to grab my kit she's crewing again

I found when I mentioned to people that I was entered for a 100 mile race I might of well said it in Welsh as no one understood what I was talking about.

For most people who do not run, a marathon is a silly question i.e I live in Bristol when I say to people running a marathon is like setting out now and running to Weston Super Mare they look at me as I am mad. Times that but by nearly four marathons and they can't comprehend what I just said, hence talking Welsh!!

Anyhow I ran the TP100 and loved every minute of it even the hypothermia at the end !!

I've had people that flatly refused to believe me when I say I've run 100 miles in a day.

Are you doing TP again next year Louismaxy? I'm tempted again. Might bump into you again! 

This is a tricky one for me, as it is not the concept of running a 100 miles that troubles my family. But they know how much training is going to be required and that is more of an issue! I am starting to try and adjust my training time so that I will run to work and run home etc as a way of increasing the number of miles that I run a week, without it impacting on family life.

As for other people, I like discussing Ultras with like minded people online or at my running club. For non runners I liken Ultras to people that like to ramble and walk for long distances, accept that we prefer to jog

It has been quite good fun seeing the reactions of fellow clubmates - as a predominantly road running club, with an emphasis on 10k to Marathon, it's quite good fun to describe a 40 mile run around Sherwood Forest for example, let alone 57 miles around the Peak District!

I am in this difficult situation now - i had my eyes on the TP100 for next year.  Runnng had been a contentious subject for just over a year now with my OH, before that it wasn't an issue for some reason.  I was running before I met him, I guess maybe i began to train a little harder and push myself a little more. 

I've mentioned the TP100 a few times and the atmosphere suddenly goes very cold - he can't resent the training hours, as I fit them in around my daily commute (he works late anyway and he always come home to a clean house and dinner on the table). 

He says his concern is that i never know when to stop - he wants to know when will i have enough?  Will I be able to stop at 100 miles or will i want to go further?  And I cant promise that I won't. 

His lack of support has already made me feel obliged to cancel my Ironman effort for this year, and now the half ironman too.  Doing this without his support is miserable.

He runs himself, although "only" 2-3 marathons a   year, and he's a better runner than me too - a sub 3 marathon is easy for him.  However i cant persuade him to try ultras, i think he sees them as dangerous and inviting injury - despite the fact ive actually been injury free for well over a year (*touches all wood available*). 

I've just returned from a multi-day (2 days, 64 miles) and things were a little bit rocky on my return, i won first lady but he really wasn't interested. 

I guess maybe he has a point, maybe i should set myself a limit? Enjoying this thread though, nice to hear from others in the same boat.

Katie - that's a sad and difficult position to be in, and one appreciate and understand...

All I can say is - it's a lot easier to achieve your targets and dreams if you have support, someone who understands, who wants to stand behind you and push, or in front of you and pull...

Only you know whether other parts of life make up for this - it sounds like running is a very large part of you, who you are, and who you want to be... if that's the case then you should feel like that part of you is as important as the rest of you.

Oh, and congrats on your win yesterday!!!!

Wow Katie, well done on winning, that's brilliant going. 

It is very hard when you don't get support on the home front for what really makes you tick.  I guess it's whether you are brave enough to get to the root of the problem.  We went through several stages here whereby hubby really was very resentful of my running - kids were very young then and i was just trying to get back to doing something I did before they arrive. I figured much of it was surrounding the restrictions the arrival of young children put on our former life (both of us were rarely at home and always away climbing (me), kayaking (hubby), mountaineering (together)), in fact we didn't always spend a lot of time together at all.

Now hubby seems to have accepted it and has even started to be encouraging, the kids think it's brilliant even though they can't really get their heads around 100 miles and I definitely feel like I can start to enjoy my passion a bit more now rather than it being a domestic battle!

Tim - I like the way you liken an ultra, I use similar examples and also do like to point out I don't actually RUN the entire way ... I feel almost fraudulent when people say 'so, you ran 53 miles then?'

people are strange Morticia and it's amazing what crazy things go on in someones' mind!!!

Katie - congratulations from the last lady (assume it was the Pony Express).  Sorry about your reception - it must have put quite a damper on your great achievement.  The only thing I have to watch is not taking any post event feelings/exhaustion out on him.  I had the journey from Hell home and had to take a couple of deep breaths to stop me arriving home and start ranting at the slightest thing.  Fortunately 'im and the cat looked so contented my bad temper evaporated.

Morticia - in my case it's because my wife is older than me, and is afraid my getting fitter/healthier will leave her behind, and to be fair it is beginning to get that way!

Diamonds

The explanation is always diamonds

With regard to the question "when will you ever draw the line?", there are ways to tackle that one. 

I just told my family that there are no single stage races longer than 100 miles give or take, and refer to longer races such as Viking way as "100 milers". 

Unable to differentiate the difficulties posed by one 100 mile event relative to another, they then assume that you are already operating at the theoretical plateau. 

Last year the conversation at our house went something along the lines of...

"Darling, I think I might like to do a 100mile run next year, but I'm not sure whether I should"

"You've done a couple of 50milers, so I'd say go for it, by the way I was thinking of a 10k open water swim and an Ironman"

"I'll join you for the Ironman, but not sure about the 10k swim, is there a 5k option ?"

"Yes, but you're just being a wuss and are frightened of being 'chicked' in the swim again..."

some of my problems definitely stemmed from perception of 'free time' available to train for x or x events/general fitness and wellbeing.  Resentment on his part strangely rather than mine - him working long hours/working away vs me having lots of free time at home with two small children - not!  Even weirder was how the resentment grew when I got up early to train before he left for work - only because he took that to mean I thought that's what he should do to.  Hence I say it's quite strange how things can get very off-kilter if left to fester in people's minds, far better to get out in open and try and understand.

Veggie boy - diamonds ... if only!

Glad I'm not alone with this issue.

Chocolate and flowers are cheaper than diamonds!