How to tell your friends and family that you are going to run a 100 miler!

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09/05/2012 at 14:38

i also said i'd never do a 100 but i think a short memory is essential for ultras and so i have signed up (i also remember saying i'd never do a marathon when i did my first 1/2 - hard to believe now).

I have to say its a difficult balance to get anything like the training hours needed for really long distance and spending as much time with the family as i'd like. I'm lucky that my wife (and 4 year old) have come along to most events, often to make a weekend away - i have to be grateful to them for flying up just for the Fling this year just to drive around all day, although we did get sunday in the hills all together. we did do quite a bit of mountaineering,mtb & running pre-children so my wife does understand why i go a bit crazy if i'm not outdoors. 

 

09/05/2012 at 18:48

Penguin I remember the second time I ran the Bristol half back in 2005, my previous race being the 2004 one. My thoughts crossing the line back then was "to run a marathon that means doing this all over again!!!!!".....................crazy was my reaction. 

Anyhoo did my first full marathon two years later. I love this addiction

09/05/2012 at 19:31

Well the drip drip drip approach of information as others have described worked well for me with the OH on the build up to doing 100m - to be fair the OH was already used to me saying 'Oh I'm just off out for a 5hr cycle ride' back when we first met and that was my bag, but still it is hard for the other halfs to understand your passion sometimes. I find short races tend to get the thumbs up more these days, like I can say I'll run this half and then we can go for a walk or lunch together. On the longer races that arent near home, it has to be - lets do this as a holiday - compromise so we both get the benefit.

I have gone out with people in the past who have said they were into all the long distance cycling and marathon running etc, then when it comes down to it, actually, they are not! They maybe ran a half when they were younger......but that is it!! Then you say, I'm going cycling for 50miles, do you want to come with me, and they dont!!

I feel lucky I am in a 6yr relationship and I can pretty much say - what do you think about this? and if the OH says 'fecking no way' then I will think of another race, its all about give and take at the end of the day, what we can afford, and being fair to them, ie they get a holiday out of it if I am running down in England for instance.

Now....the parents  that is another issue - they totally do not understand why anyone would want to run this far - so I dont tell them untill I've finished , but you still get all the negative comments which can be quite downheartening, the distance thing blows their mind I think. My father used to cycle quite long distances, but seems unable to compute why anyone would want to run this? My mother is just concerned I will kill myself - usual parental dysfunctionalism!!!

10/05/2012 at 09:03

Well for me the parents bit just gets even worse. They are working in conjuction with my wife to remind that I both insane and too thin. They seem ok with distances up to marathon, but beyond that seems to make no sense.

 

10/05/2012 at 09:19

My husband reminded me a few months ago, while I was training for my first 50K, that about a year earlier I'd commented that I was going to stick with HMs because I didn't see how I'd fit in the training time for a full marathon... Now I've done my first 50K and my first marathon and I'm trainning for my first 50M (with a 30M on the way in July and there's a 30K in June which looks fun and then there's a 66-mile two-day in October which starts really locally so...) But basically he's supportive, thankfully - he's really pleased that I've found something to obsess about that isn't work! Also, we do have a couple of things we do together not including household chores - I think that's important.

My mother doesn't understand but thankfully that doesn't matter - I just grin and say that I enjoy it. My stepmother came and supported me at Manchester (marathon) and thought my achievement was fantastic!

10/05/2012 at 12:59

I'm still wondering when/if to tell the parents. My Dad is very supportive and checks out times, looks for pictures etc online, he's been to several 1/2s and one marathon. i think he would have really enjoyed the atmosphere at the fling, so as a tester he'll come along to the dukeries ultra. My mum is happy when events are over but just cant help coming out with worst case scenarios beforehand - like the fling ' if you want to drop out how do you do it' 'if you fall over and get injured how will you get out', so not the positive attitude of 'you're going well' even when i look like death that will be needed.

10/05/2012 at 13:51

Those are just the kind of things my mother comes out with , giving you the negative 'giving in' option, rather than saying something like 'I know it will be a hard race but I hope you have a good time'.

In the build up to the TP100 I said nothing to my parents, it was fairly easy as they live miles away, so I just got on with my training in peace. Its after the event I usually get all the 'OMG I dont know how you do that' and 'what if something had happened' guilt trips .

When that poor unfortunate young woman died the other week at the London Marathon, my mother took almost obscene pleasure in telling me how upset she had been and was thinking the same might happen to me when I'm running !!! I was actually quite offended by the appropriation of another families grief in order to have a go at me. Fundamentally though you cannot cure someone elses anxieties and paranoia, so I dont try, I just get on with doing what I want to do, the less they know about it the better - I'll just show them the medals when they visit . At least I know I can rely on the OH for support.

10/05/2012 at 17:48
My wife is really surportive. When i did my first ultra last year the L2B 56 miles she was the one that said to me "you'll want to do a 100 next" so it was no suprise when i entered the sdw100 this year. But my OH has just started her running journey now she's completed a few hm and now entered her first marathon (beahyhead) and has said that she WILL NEVER go any futher than that. I have said thats what we all said at some point maybe ill just remind her on the start line to her first 50 miler.
As for my freinds and family they think its some sort of mid life crisis they dont really understand how you can enjoy pushing yourself to the limit. My mates espeaically always say they would love to do hm but in the next breath have an excuss why they cant but they do take turns to crew for me.
19/05/2012 at 15:30
It amazes me how many people manage to maintain relationships with long distance running! My relationship broke up and that was during a year when I only did 3 marathons! He didn't want to support me anymore and wasn't going to be there to push my wheelchair when I cripple myself apparently!!!

So now I have no one to rain me in in spending this year doing numerous marathons and a 50k and seriously comtemplating a 2 day event next spring maybe 30 miles each day and building up to 100 miles in the summer hopefully! I just want to see how far I can go
19/05/2012 at 19:42

Personally i'm getting fed up with the negative comments regarding my weight loss - i'm still 10st9lb, so it's not like i've faded away!!!

19/05/2012 at 20:09
I keep being told that Ive lost weight, I just reply not according to the scales!!!
19/05/2012 at 20:27

Ahhh, that's just toning then or muscle development - both are good things!

I've gone from 12st5lb to 10st9lb since January 2011, with my aim being 10st7lb, or a bit lower if I get there. I'm really chuffed about it - weighed myself this morning and it's my first time under 10st10 - and all I got was a frown and a dig about being skinny....

19/05/2012 at 20:39

Yup my Chinese wife tells me it's an insult to her as a wife that I have lost several stone since we got married and my mother in law looks like she will instantaneously combust each year when we visit and I have lost a little more.

Still I am fitter, healthier and happier than at any point previously and plan on improving some more too.

What it leaves in fairness is a pretty good natured guerilla war whereby MRS S stocks the cupboard, fridge and freezer with all my favourite 'bad' snacks arranges friends visits and our family 'schedule' to conflict as best she can to disrupt my running schedule and I counter by getting up earlier running later and book more events. So far so good it remains good natured.

03/06/2012 at 13:17

Weight loss! not a problem I have, I went from 13st to 14st in my first year of Marathon training and am stuck steadfast on 13st 10, 8 marathons in 8 months and I've lost 4 pounds. Hate to think what'll happen if I stop

03/06/2012 at 15:09
I stopped running for 2 weeks recently cos of injury and I lost 2kg. I persume that my appetite reduced.
12/06/2012 at 10:18

Well the theoretical just turned to reality, just grabbed a confirmed place for 2014 Marathn des Sables, just need to tell MRS S now .... so if I might trouble you, my fellow forumites for a just a few moments positive thoughts, if you could face in the general direction of Nottingham and send that positive vibe my / my wife's way about 8PM tonight I will be forever in your debt!

12/06/2012 at 10:48

Ha ha - practice it, talk about the TV and the soaps and just casually add "and by the way that 100 mile run I told you about, I'm going to have to do it" then run...

12/06/2012 at 11:14

So, not just any old 100-miler then...

12/06/2012 at 13:58

All - Thanks, don't forget +ve vibes washing over Nottingham @ 8PM.

I have said that I would do it if I could get in so shouldn't be too big a surprise still its one thing when its a maybe another all together when its a £3.5k, 8 days away from home definite.

I think the compromise will be less other events 2013 / 2014 to put some balance back in family life. 

Anyway still can't stop smiling. I know its not everyone's cup of tea as a race but for me it's so far beyond what I previously could possiby have been able to conceive doing @ 40 years of age having spent life up to my late 30's as a 17st beer monster.

14/06/2012 at 20:26

Thank-you all, the positive vibes must have found there way through the clouds to Mansfield! Begrudging acceptance is how I would charecterise te reaction. I can build on that, I hope.  Mind you I am perhaps being lulled into a false sense of security suspect revenge may be costy and hand bag shaped.


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