Hi Tracey. I was so sorry to read about your losses, I cannot even imagine what the grief must be like.
I too, like so many on this website have been plagued with various problems throughout my life. For the past 20 years these have been fears and phobias some only mild, some severe, some temporary and some that have been with me since childhood. These have included, (please don't laugh), the stars, cows, dogs, broken glass, flying, travel of any kind, the dark, death, illness and many, many more. I started running about a year and a half ago and I agree that after a run (really a very slow plod) my mood is very much lifted and I feel great. What I didn't expect was that for some reason my fears seem to be diminishing, the only thing I can put this down to is running, nothing else has changed. My biggie is dogs and this really interferes with my life. If I am out walking anywhere and see a dog I immediately start hyperventillating and need an escape route urgently. Because of this I have never been able to go for a walk or run straight from my own front door choosing instead to drive into town and go from there where 1. dogs will generally be on leads and 2. I can dart into a shop/pub/building of some sort if I meet an unaccompanied one. I have now however passed a milestone. On Friday I decided to hell with it and ran up a residential street that I haven't been on since I was courting 25 years ago and this morning at 6:15 I was coming round the back of our local leisure centre when I spotted a woman with a large boxer off his lead. Usually my immediate reaction would be to go in the other direction very quickly but I thought, she has seen me, if that dog is a biter she would have put him back on the lead and I just kept on running, he didn't bite! On top of all that I made a spur of the minute snap decision to agree to go to visit friends in Germany to stop my brother nagging and booked two flights for me and hubbie for the end of July! I hope I don't get to the airport and think, I can't do this! I think some kind of 'I can run, therefore I can' mentality has taknen over. I always envied people out running but never thought I would be able to do it, my progress has been slow but it has been progress all the same. Jeez I am embarrassed by the length of this ramble, hope I haven't bored you all to death!
Posted: 28/06/2006 at 20:05