I never knew there were Sikhs in Afghanistan. Now that I do, I'm wondering why they didn't head for India instead. A large Sikh community and a functioning democracy. Culturally, climatically and geographically much closer. Why did they cross the world and numerous safe countries, and head for the UK? And why did they think they can bypass the normal immigration procedures and instead gatecrash?
Also on the bright side, you don't need to jump through all the hoops that are needed these days to get JSA. Seems most of them are designed to trip you up so you can be sanctioned.
And another thing, you are helping the government with its unemployment figures. Presumably you will now count as one of the army of "self-employed" who are the fastest-growing segment of the labour market but who I suspect are mostly guys like you (and me too, soon): made redundant and out of work but able to get by either on the redundy payout or drawing down the pension early.
Either way, enjoy your "active retirement-cum-self employment" and get into that gym