I must admit I have rung 999 on more than one occasion for people who appear to be collapsed in a state of inebriation. The crews have never queried that the fact and have always checked that there's nothing else wrong. I remember a conversation I had at work once with a young chap (late teens/early 20s) who was dismissed as a drunkard when he was in fact having a stroke - yes they do happen to teenagers.
Joining a few days late... personally I don't think fertility treatment or investigations should be on the NHS. We have enough people. If you want children you can find a way to have them. Why not adopt instead?
Very few reasons to pay for cosmetic surgery on NHS too.
I think you made a mistake in mentioning that you are picking up an extra 14 followers on average per day on twitter. Makes me wonder what all your keyboard activity is about and what your twitname is. You're still on probation.
Please, do not tell me everything has been fine while I've been away and that you've been busy. Strangely enough, that's not what other people have said. Just as odd is the other things you didn't mention but hey, I know about them.