The Glass of Wine (well less than half a glass, actually more like a quarter, but I didn't see it and thereby hangs this tale).
Are you sitting comfortably... no forget that, here goes:
It all started a few weeks ago when Angela began to complain of pains in her left shoulder which seemed to get worse in bed at night. It's my fault of course because that's the side I sleep. She decided it might be better to try swapping sides and last night was when the idea was first implemented. I was already in bed and all we had to do was to swap pillows (don't ask) and for me to slide across. At some point in this proceeding Angela went downstairs for something and came back up holding a glass with some wine in it and, taking a sip, said, "Look I didn't finish my wine at dinner". I thought she finished it off. Then she got into bed and we went to sleep. It felt rather strange because for 57 years I've slept on the left - you get sort of used to it!
This morning I awoke about 4:30 to go for my run and got out of bed in the dark, as is my wont, in order not to disturb Angela. I had to feel my way along on the unaccustomed side and knocked over something on the chest of drawers at the end of the bed. Groping about I found it was the wineglass and suddenly thought it might not have been empty. Hurriedly I switched on the light and risked waking Angela. There was red wine spilled on the top of the chest of drawers and splashes on the floor carpet that's only been down a few months. A few sheets of paper from the bathroom soon dealt with the top then I dashed down to the kitchen for a cloth and a bowl of cold water to mop the carpet. I had to move the chest of drawers in case wine had got under but thankfully it hadn't. Through all this she, who claims the slightest thing wakes her, remained asleep.
She's awake now and volunteers that she shouldn't have taken the wine into the bedroom.