OK, so I managed 1.5 miles without having to stop or walk - it was really warm and really windy so that'll do for starters. My new trainers felt good and I'll try to push to 2 miles in the next couple of days.
Thanks for your thoughts. I don't think it sounds negative at all and, right now, I hope I get to the 2-3 month point in order to see how it feels - it would represent my longest period without alcohol since I was about 16.
I think I understand what you mean about getting to grips with the feeling of being sober and what that means. I've always known that feeling positive about my identity has been intrinsically tied to drinking - I believe that I became more interesting and successful once I started drinking and guess I fear what lives beneath that identity 25 or so years later.
I've always tried to kid myself that I'll be able to return to moderate drinking one day but know that it's not really the case - it's just what I want to believe.
Well done on the 9 miles, especially if it was a hard run.
I'm going to brave the coastal wind and do a couple of miles - it'll be my first run in at least 2 years and I'm not overly looking forward to it!
It's been ages since I posted, although I've never stopped looking in from time to time. I hope everyone's doing alright.
I guess my non-posting has been due to drinking being heavy, and running non-existant, for a long time. I think I'd actually given up on stopping the booze (until it stopped me) and also thought my running days were in the past. However, out of nowhere, I've not had a drink in nearly 3 weeks and just bought some new running shoes - I'll get out either today or tomorrow for a couple of miles of agony.
I think I'm past making promises to myself or setting goals and will just keep rolling...
It'd be good to catch up with some of you lovely folk again.
E.D.I - I have to say that you make a more persuasive case for AA than I have experienced before. Like many people, I have some reservations about the AA but they are based on my own assumptions and prejudices, rather than any personal experience. Welcoming and open people who want to help others to be kinder, calmer and more peaceful sound like folk I wouldn't mind in my life. If I've proved one thing to myself, it's that I am an alcoholic who isn't winning any battles alone. Thanks for making me think about taking some action.
Hi to everyone else. I haven't posted in ages but I do occasionally look in to see how you're all doing. Right now I drink loads and run never. I'd like to rearrange that sentence a little...
trigger - it's a little overcast here but it was nice to sit out in the garden until late in the evening sunshine yesterday. A little bit of summer would be a tonic. Sorry to hear you're feeling grotty.
E.D.I - not sure we've said hello yet so 'hi'! You've written posts that make a lot of sense and it's been good to read. From my own perspective, the discussion about drinking being symptomatic of deeper problems is interesting. I'm a happy person with a good life and I work hard doing a job I adore. I have a good understanding of mental health and feel I know myself well. In spite of this I drink every day and know that I am an alcoholic. If this is symptomatic of something, I have no idea of what it might be. I'm not saying that I disagree that problem drinking is always caused by underlying issues and I'm sure it usually is. In my case it might help if I knew there was a reason so I could work on but it just doesn't feel like it.
sinbad - great news on the early morning run - that kind of commitment puts me to shame! I'm pleased that you find some comfort in having a space here to throw things down and get them out of your head. It's incredible that people who have posted here over the years accept, care about and give unconditional support to people they've often never met in person. I've always thought the booze thread is a special place and I'm glad it's proving positive for you.
I hope everyone else is good and not feeling too much like it's a Monday morning!