@Dustin - feel free to volunteer to help. I don't get paid to clear it up, and I fit it in around other things, like work, sleep, and The Real World.
@Joseph Preston - when you work out how to stop all spam automatically, patent the idea and license the technology. Thanks for not posting the link to the spam, though. I enjoy wasting my time clicking through pages to find it so that your otherwise empty and pititful life is easier. As for shooting the messenger, if the messenger provided any useful information he/she wouldn't get shot.
This must be what it's like working on a support desk: "My computer's broken." Can you fix it?" I have no fucking idea - why do you think it's broken? What are the symptoms? Give me information up-front, don't make me piss about chasing you for information.