Doctor to patient, "I'm afraid I have some good news, and some bad news sir, which would you like first?", the patient replies,, "You had better give me the bad news first". Doctor, "You have an incurable disease, and will die in the next 24 hours.". The patient, "Bloody hell if that's the bad news, what the hell is the good news?" Doctor, "You see that lovely blonde nurse over there?, I'm sh****ng her!"