It is also completely normal and very very common. You are not alone.
Don't beat yourself up. In time you will reconcile with the notion that it wasn't meant to be. That's no use now though, time is raw and nothing anyone can say will repair that.
Relaxin, hormones etc ....yep, fine, good points. BUT if you want to run then you should. HOWEVER, if your body image is whacked then that's another issue....you owe it to yourself to get back in shape and strong for your baby, for there will be another one and you will be a cracking mum. You think you look odd? who gives a flying f#ck - you have the strength, you can do this, you think anyone smirking at your body in running gear has even half the strenght and courage you've got?
There is a time when the introspection must cease, and the building goes on. You'll know when that time is - don't rush.
To put this in context: Junior, U21 and U23 champion....counts for absolutely nothing now that I'm 33 and have lived hard in the interim. To be honest, LOTS of juniors are very good, many just don't go on - which is a sad reflection on the UK system in my book.
Hence stating that there really is nothing to see here.
I went off hard, within 200 metres I was still fourth but dying on my arse. I was passed by about 15 runners and then seemed to settle. I was passed in the second half by another bunch, but they had to work at it.
Huge respect to the front runners, they were really impressive and it was great to see...albeit briefly.
I finished 33 with a time of 40 minutes and 22 seconds.
I think I've forgotten how to race - I know how much it hurts when you are going hard from the off, and I don't seem to have the heart for it any more. Determined to change that.