I can't really describe it but I'm feeling very upset/guilty/whatever as I have been planning a couple of things next year, and obviously Claire won't be there and I didn't need to check with her regarding her plans. I have booked a local 10K in January; Claire was with me spectating at it last year and we were pregnant, but didn't know it at the time. I have booked a gig to see a band called Royal Blood with a few friends in February. This was one of Claire's favourite most recent bands and she would have loved to come to see them. I have also booked to see the comic Tim Vine. I've seen him a couple of times before and he is hilarious, but again Claire loved him too. I know I'm a techy geek but what tipped me over the edge was that Claire and I have a shared calendar on our Macs/iPhones and of course I have no need to update that calendar now with these things, do I?
The other thing that tipped me over the edge is that I looked at the Torbay Half website as they have "early bird" offer. I had forgotten that they have a picture of a group running shot and if you know where you're looking you can clearly see Claire in it as she's on the front row of the picture. This took the wind out of my sails a bit, even though I've seen the photo a lot of times in the past.
I think it's all sinking in bit by bit, and it's not nice
I know I need to start thinking about Claire's clothes and also the nursery which has all Jay's stuff in there (push chair, cot, moses basket, all his clothes, curtains/lampshade/mobile for the cot, nappies etc etc). I can't face doing that yet though. It has been pointed out to me by a well meaning but possibly misguided friend that I may be in danger of holding on to these things too long as some kind of replacement for what I've lost, but I don't think that's the case to be honest. It's only been just over a month and I know Claire and Jay are not here anymore, but I just don't want to sort out their belongings yet as it's difficult to contemplate going through it all and sending it to a charity shop.
Anyway, I had a day off from running yesterday and had a nice afternoon with Claire's Mum. I'm hoping for a 5-mile steady run in a little while and then I'm seeing a cousin in Exeter after she finishes work this afternoon. I am keeping busy, but in a funny way I am kind of wondering if I'm keeping a bit too busy. I have a couple of plans tomorrow but Friday is relatively free (other than the dentist and possibly a Trotters session at 7pm if I feel like it) and I think I'm going to keep it that way. I may go up to the church again and sit there for a while and just see what I feel like.
I'm having issues accessing this thread today. I was getting the "oops, something went wrong" message a few times.
Shades, thanks for the tip about Birmingham Half. I hadn't seen it so I've just downloaded it to watch later.
My pod appointment went okay. He explained the results of my scan and in summary there is still (or was, at the time of the scan which was a few weeks ago) some inflammation there but nothing that warrants any intervention/injections etc, which is good news. He again said it is a slow process but to keep doing the exercises. He didn't give me any new exercises to do, but has kept the appointment open for another 6 months. I told him what I was doing with the running (i.e., building up slowly and nothing too quick) and he was fine with this so I'll keep doing what I'm doing and see what happens.
SK - I have no real tips for a 5K apart from to do intervals quicker than your target 5K pace. 5x1K intervals or even 5x1mile intervals (this is a tough session!) at a consistent pace I think are partly what brought my times down, with the last interval being a challenge (to say the least!) to maintain the pace. I also think some of the off road stuff I was doing made me a stronger runner as a flat, road 5K seemed easier in comparison. Obviously I'm saying this from the injury bench, but I think my injury is mainly due to me racing too much.
I went along to the club session last night and I enjoyed it. It was just over 6 miles at a steady pace with lots of regrouping and it was good to get out with them again. I have done three or four 5-milers on my own but this is the longest I've gone for a few weeks and I feel okay this morning. Everyone at the club were very welcoming to me which was brilliant and I enjoyed the session.
Shades/KK/Iain- talking about the shorter stuff I genuinely think I'd get as much satisfaction of going under 20mins for a 5K (for example) as I would getting a marathon PB. For me, when a 5K or 10K goes well I find it really enjoyable (does this make me odd?)!
I think it's because you're on the edge of your ability so have to be very realistic of what your ability is. A few seconds a mile too slow and then you know you haven't got the time you're capable of, but a few seconds a mile too quick and you can detonate making it a very horrible experience indeed! For some reason I quite like that about a 5K in particular....!! However, I know even if it all does go horribly wrong I know I can finish a 5K whereas for me there is that element of doubt going into a marathon which adds to the stress.
If/when this injury clears up properly, I have been thinking about trying to do some 5K specific training, but I don't real know what that entails at the moment. Please don't banish me from this thread!!! ;)