JG how many days do you work now, and how many extra would the extra hours give you? If your in-laws already do two days for you in the school holidays, you might only need to find cover for one extra day - or if spread over more than one day you might be able to compress the extra hours into one day in the holidays and then just use a day's leave each week to cover if needed and you can't find an alternative arrangement? I have to be quite creative about my hours sometimes but the bottom line is as long as the work gets done, my department is very accommodating. It's always worth asking even if your request is a bit unusual.
Thanks for reposting Lotte's long run advice for the ultra, Vixo. I had been wondering myself how to approach mine as it's only 9 weeks after London. I will need a week off to recover from the marathon before I even attempt to build back up for the ultra, and really not sure how much to do for it. In that time I'll probably only have opportunity to do maybe one or two 20+ runs (May half term is also in that block of 9 weeks and we might go away, so not sure how much running will happen that week either). I'm not too worried as I've done a lot of long runs for the marathon (4x16, 4x18 and 4x20) so those plus the race itself must count towards anything that comes afterwards! It's 50K so "only" five miles more than marathon distance, and should be flat as mostly on canal towpath. As it's the end of June it could be scorchio, which would possibly be a problem especially as the section I've chosen to do starts at 12 noon. The 100K distance is split into two 50K sections, and 50K runners can do either. I chose the second section as I think it'll be nicer scenery - the first 50K starts in central London and I know some of the early sections of the towpath (through King's Cross and Camden) and they are a bit grim. Plus logistically a 7am start from central London would mean leaving home around 5am which is just a tad too early. Pace-wise I have absolutely no idea - I'm thinking of somewhere around 8-8:15 miling but it depends on how London goes and what I can manage there as to what pace I think will be appropriate for the ultra.
Sounds like your training's gone really well, Vixo - trashed legs are just a sign of having worked hard! I would do maybe one more long run and then taper - I think your race is the bank holiday weekend, isn't it? So the week after London? I know there's a reason I didn't choose it - think it was just too soon after the marathon.
Everyone seems to have had a good Easter break - weather caught us out too Caro; who'd have thought that WALES would be hot and sunny over Easter?? (It never usually is - I even did my final 20 miler on Friday before we left, remembering all the times I've had to do it in a gale force wind in the Welsh hills - and then the weather was far better in Wales than at home, and my long run was done in the pouring rain. Sigh!)
Now tapering - funny how niggles start to appear once the hard training stops! I've had this happen before so know not to be worried about it but it is a bit disconcerting. Hamstrings ached like hell after a fairly steady 7-miler last night and all I've done since last Friday is that and two easy 5s. Massively overate on Tuesday (ate a lot over Easter generally, but really overdid it that evening) and felt completely stuffed to the point of discomfort. Wasn't remotely hungry all the following morning and didn't even really want lunch. It wasn't a pleasant feeling and I won't be doing it again in a hurry - and it's too early to be carb-loading so can't even use that as an excuse!
Many, many thanks to those of you who've sponsored me. Look away now as I'm about to shamelessly repost the link for anyone who hasn't yet and would like to - every penny helps and I'm really proud to be doing this for Caro and other women in her position: https://www.justgiving.com/debsh/
Nessie, awesome post. Searingly honest and frank. You can't change what's past but you can stop it from impacting on your future happiness, and you seem to have arrived at a position of self-acceptance which is brilliant. We all do things we regret, but once done they are in the past and can't be undone. There's no shame in acknowledging our mistakes, accepting our human fallibility, learning from those mistakes and moving on. That was a brave and heartfelt post and I'm sure aspects resonate with many of us.
CM, although I accept that an affair in any circumstances is wrong, in your case I see it as very much a catalyst and if it prompted your decision to leave T sooner than if it hadn't happened then it may even be a good thing. The marriage was destroying you and you would have left eventually. Regardless of the affair T is not the sort of person to have agreed access terms willingly and would have always made things difficult in that respect. He may not have physically abused you but he certainly damaged you emotionally - after years of emotional damage from your parents - and getting out was the right thing to do. It's just a shame that you ended up with a selfish, inconsiderate control freak who had no idea how to treat you. I actually agree with Nessie that maybe you need a clean break and if ending your relationship with N enables you to put some of the past to rest then perhaps that's what you need to do.
The inability to sort out the financial situation with his ex-wife would try my patience too - do you know, I read back through this thread and you posted something almost identical about the divorce/financial situation and the fact that you were sick of the whole thing and wanted to finish it with him in 2012! Can't say that you haven't given it a fair crack of the whip so if you do decide to go it alone I think you can safely say he's had ample opportunity to sort things out. You posted back then that he wasn't coming that particular weekend and that you felt free and unburdened - what does that tell you? You've been in a relationship once in which you were truly unhappy. Life is too short and moves by too fast to settle for mediocrity. You're a wonderful mum and a fantastic person and you deserve happiness. If that means just you and the kids what's wrong with that?
CM, love your 'group hug' post - fab. I think I can understand where you are coming from on the relationship thing. You attach guilt to your relationship with N because he was the catalyst for you to leave T. In which case could it be looked on more positively - i.e. that you would ultimately have left T anyway to save your sanity, but having N just made that happen sooner? So actually N has done you a favour by hastening that situation.
It may just be that having been the catalyst, you just feel that N has served his purpose and you no longer want a relationship with him. Which is absolutely fine. I think counselling will only work if both of you want the same outcome (as CC is discovering) and when you don't, it's just an uncomfortable place to be for the person who doesn't want 'happily ever after' for the relationship. I'd feel the same about the pie chart FWIW!!
Nuro, good to hear you sounding positive. I'm not sure I really get the whole mindfulness thing but it seems to be having a positive effect on quite a few people here so that's great.
PG3, so proud of you for standing up for yourself at work and saying what needed to be said. And really great that you had such a positive response to that from someone senior. Even if the sh*t still hits the fan at least you can feel that you had your say.
Lotte, great that you're feeling so much better and getting back to your previous form. Pesky iron has a lot to answer for! LOL at Sophie; bless.
TTid, glad the lump amounted to nothing more than a cyst - you don't need any more stress at the moment!
Caro, thinking of you re. FIL. Hope he is comfortable and peaceful. Was thinking of you yesterday with Whipps Cross being in the news (not for good reasons!) and remembering your experiences there!
Six weeks on Sunday until London. Training has been going well - I have done all my scheduled runs so far and I have to say I'm feeling good at the moment and stronger than on previous occasions at this point in the training. Last time I felt I overtrained and just felt constantly knackered; I've been doing a little less this time and it suits me better. I refuse to get hung up on what other people do or think I should do and just focus on what I know has worked for me in the past and hopefully will again. I also signed up for my first ultra - the Grand Union Challenge. It's 50K so not too big a step up. I'm still a bit unsure about 50K of essentially towpath running as opposed to varied offraod terrain but the decision was ultimately made for me as the other event I was considering clashed with this summer's school reunion and I just have to go to that or I will die of curiosity wondering what people look like after all this time (I have seen a few photos and am secretly quite chuffed that some of the people I didn't like much are now quite overweight and look older than they are. There are also one or two I don't even recognise because they've changed so much!)