My Forum

RicF - thanks for that post, appreciated.

Thank you all again for your comments, much appreciated. Helvetica Bold - thank you for this and as RicF said it is a brave post. I have been / am completely under the thumb as well (coward as RicF said) but I have seen the light (sounds cheesy but unless you have been in this situation you dont know how the manipulation etc preys on you and makes you believe) and I need to fight for proper access and time with my kids, I don't want them growing up thinking that was is happening is correct. When my wife is out of sight my kids talk to me and we have fun, I always make sure I smile and tell them I love them, when she returns the fear returns and they withdraw. I am going to fight to give them longer memories that they can cherish, it will not be easy but I need to do it.

Thank you all. 

Thanks everyone - I put my hands up to being a total coward, I cant look at myself in the mirror sometimes because of what I have "let" happen. Self centred bully is probably a very close description but there seems to be a lot of signs of narcissm as well. I have stood up to her and things have happened that indicate to me she has no empathy at all - not to me anyway - Christmas day was interesting, I took the dog out in the morning as usual, she did tell me to take him out a little earlier than I usual do but thought nothing of it, I came back and she and the kids had opened pretty much all the presents without me, I tried to get close to helping open the last few and she literally blocked me out, I didnt want to cause a scene but was upset - this was because I had gone against her wishes on xmas eve. There are other cases where I have tried to stand up to her (trying not to be a coward) but I know the kick back can be worse.

Have a good weekend and thanks for the frank exchange, much appreciated and has given me the kick I needed / deserve.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, I put this post on so you invite all comments. I do have a lot to answer for in terms of being too passive and letting things progress in the quest for a quiet life, the issue i have is that I have now stood up to the "bully" and it hasnt made things easier or much different, in a way she has closed ranks even more and the kids are under her protection. She tells me I play a good victim, I am not looking for sympathy etc. but no one deserves to be told off for smiling at their 6 year old daughter who looked absolutely beautiful going to school and 2 mins before that my 7 year old stopped talking to me as he was scared of what mummy would say. It still brings a tear to my eye and I only wish I could have some normality but it is not easy. Thanks for all the comments / advice.