Over two years!! you're still the same, no you're worse. You live in a fantasy that something will get better. It won't unless you do something about it. Specifically something that works, not just pretending to want to change so that people will give you support.
Other people have done it. They've told you what to do. Just flipping do it instead of leaning on everyone and playing the 'poor me' card.
I haven't seen you for over five years and have barely heard from you. After talking trivia about nostalgia for half an hour, you drop in the fact that your marriage, which appears to have been on the rocks for years, is finally breaking apart..