Posted: 24/11/2014 at 19:03
Can I just assure you all that if someone is to break in to your house there are far more effective ways than I deployed. It also involved having a back door key, but being unable to use it because there was a key in the lock on the inside. So instructions for breaking into your house.
1) Use garage key and get ladder out
2) climb ladder to get over the locked gate. Realise it's a long way down.
3) Go back to garage and get second ladder.
4) climb first ladder, lift second ladder over gate and assemble for use.
5) Straddle gate and realise none of your neighbours are calling the police any time soon
6) Get into back garden and realise back door key won't work.
7) Try all downstairs doors and windows and realise that for once everything is actually locked.
8) remove ladder, unlock gate, remove another ladder - go round the front and think.
9) Go to garage and get long handled paint roller
10) go to back door and lie on floor, putting long handled paint roller through cat flap
11) spend 20 minutes manipulating long handled paint roller in an an attempt to turn key
12) give up
13) spend 5 minutes attempting to hook key, via key ring from back door
14) shout with glee as key is flung across kitchen
15) spend 10 minutes attempting to stand up and regain feeling in arm
16) Use back door key to unlock back door.
and yes, I do have a lovely cat flap
Forgot the step which involved finding cat with magnet to hold up to cat flap to unlock that