Minks


Latest posts by Minks

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Mums Running Club

Posted: 27/03/2015 at 09:00

Crossed posts Camlo but agree with you on relationships and CM's situation.  Sorry that your mum still seems to be living in cloud cuckoo land ...

I'm not looking forward to an 18-miler in Sunday's forecast conditions either - but worse to be racing.  Good luck and look after yourself!

Mums Running Club

Posted: 27/03/2015 at 08:56

Nessie, awesome post.  Searingly honest and frank.  You can't change what's past but you can stop it from impacting on your future happiness, and you seem to have arrived at a position of self-acceptance which is brilliant.  We all do things we regret, but once done they are in the past and can't be undone.  There's no shame in acknowledging our mistakes, accepting our human fallibility, learning from those mistakes and moving on.  That was a brave and heartfelt post and I'm sure aspects resonate with many of us.

CM, although I accept that an affair in any circumstances is wrong, in your case I see it as very much a catalyst and if it prompted your decision to leave T sooner than if it hadn't happened then it may even be a good thing.  The marriage was destroying you and you would have left eventually.  Regardless of the affair T is not the sort of person to have agreed access terms willingly and would have always made things difficult in that respect.  He may not have physically abused you but he certainly damaged you emotionally - after years of emotional damage from your parents - and getting out was the right thing to do.  It's just a shame that you ended up with a selfish, inconsiderate control freak who had no idea how to treat you.  I actually agree with Nessie that maybe you need a clean break and if ending your relationship with N enables you to put some of the past to rest then perhaps that's what you need to do. 

The inability to sort out the financial situation with his ex-wife would try my patience too - do you know, I read back through this thread and you posted something almost identical about the divorce/financial situation and the fact that you were sick of the whole thing and wanted to finish it with him in 2012!  Can't say that you haven't given it a fair crack of the whip so if you do decide to go it alone I think you can safely say he's had ample opportunity to sort things out.  You posted back then that he wasn't coming that particular weekend and that you felt free and unburdened - what does that tell you?  You've been in a relationship once in which you were truly unhappy.  Life is too short and moves by too fast to settle for mediocrity.  You're a wonderful mum and a fantastic person and you deserve happiness.  If that means just you and the kids what's wrong with that?

Doing a happy dance for you Nurofen!!

Mums Running Club

Posted: 20/03/2015 at 10:43

CM, love your 'group hug' post - fab.  I think I can understand where you are coming from on the relationship thing.  You attach guilt to your relationship with N because he was the catalyst for you to leave T.  In which case could it be looked on more positively - i.e. that you would ultimately have left T anyway to save your sanity, but having N just made that happen sooner?  So actually N has done you a favour by hastening that situation.

It may just be that having been the catalyst, you just feel that N has served his purpose and you no longer want a relationship with him.  Which is absolutely fine.  I think counselling will only work if both of you want the same outcome (as CC is discovering) and when you don't, it's just an uncomfortable place to be for the person who doesn't want 'happily ever after' for the relationship.  I'd feel the same about the pie chart FWIW!!

Nuro, good to hear you sounding positive.  I'm not sure I really get the whole mindfulness thing but it seems to be having a positive effect on quite a few people here so that's great.

PG3, so proud of you for standing up for yourself at work and saying what needed to be said.  And really great that you had such a positive response to that from someone senior.  Even if the sh*t still hits the fan at least you can feel that you had your say.

Lotte, great that you're feeling so much better and getting back to your previous form.  Pesky iron has a lot to answer for!  LOL at Sophie; bless.

TTid, glad the lump amounted to nothing more than a cyst - you don't need any more stress at the moment!

Caro, thinking of you re. FIL.  Hope he is comfortable and peaceful.  Was thinking of you yesterday with Whipps Cross being in the news (not for good reasons!) and remembering your experiences there!

Six weeks on Sunday until London.  Training has been going well - I have done all my scheduled runs so far and I have to say I'm feeling good at the moment and stronger than on previous occasions at this point in the training.  Last time I felt I overtrained and just felt constantly knackered; I've been doing a little less this time and it suits me better.  I refuse to get hung up on what other people do or think I should do and just focus on what I know has worked for me in the past and hopefully will again.  I also signed up for my first ultra - the Grand Union Challenge. It's 50K so not too big a step up.  I'm still a bit unsure about 50K of essentially towpath running as opposed to varied offraod terrain but the decision was ultimately made for me as the other event I was considering clashed with this summer's school reunion and I just have to go to that or I will die of curiosity wondering what people look like after all this time (I have seen a few photos and am secretly quite chuffed that some of the people I didn't like much are now quite overweight and look older than they are.  There are also one or two I don't even recognise because they've changed so much!)

 

Mums Running Club

Posted: 12/03/2015 at 16:28

Thanks Lotte, this advice is also helpful to me as I've just entered the Grand Union Challenge (same event series at Vixo's) which is 9 weeks after London (call it 8, as I will be taking the week after London off completely!)  It's a 50K ultra so not too much of a step up from the marathon distance.  It seems to be well-supported with lots of checkpoints etc so I'm hoping I won't need a rucsac or vest and can just pick up bites to eat as I go.  I need to check out the participant information thoroughly first but I hate carrying/wearing anything encumbering when I run and like Vixo, I don't want to fork out too much in case I don't do another one (which if hubby has his way will be the case!)

Good advice about the back-to-backs, Tangy - thanks.  I will definitely only manage one long run at the weekends - there would be mutiny otherwise I think!  And I'll have to be a bit careful as will be more vulnerable to injury so soon after a marathon.

TT, glad the lump removal went smoothly and does not seem suspicious.  Glad you have got it over and done with.

PG3, you don't need chocolate! Resist the urge to overload with carbs!  You still have a few weeks yet until Brighton though, right?  I am still entered for it but need to defer.  I entered before I knew I was going to get a place for London and would rather do London (a lot easier for me logistically).  I did briefly contemplate the idea of doing both but decided against it.  Mainly because I left it too late to get accommodation in Brighton and didn't fancy the stress of getting there on the day!  If I get a GFA at London I will have the same dilemma next year but plenty of time to cogitate on that one!

Kay, I ran until I was about 32 weeks pregnant.  I only stopped because I the baby bouncing on my bladder meant I needed to pee about every 50 metres which just wasn't practical!  But echo what others have said about listening to your body and stopping if something hurts.  Just not worth the risk of long-term damage.  You have a lifetime to get back into it after your baby is born.

Mums Running Club

Posted: 06/03/2015 at 10:28

Don't worry too much about the money thing in maths, EF.  It's a difficult concept to grasp that it's simply addition and subtraction but with coins.  It doesn't help that there are lots of different ways of making the same totals in our currency and I think children can find this confusing.  If I laid out 100 pennies Kit would make sense of that; what he struggles with is the concept that a single £1 coin is exactly the same as 100 pennies, that £2 is 200 pennies - and as for the notes!  Just keep practising it with her.  Kit is quite good at 'normal' addition and subtraction (he can tell me different methods - partitioning, column, etc) but he does struggle with money.  I try to be patient with him but what does wind me up is when he patently doesn't know the answer and has no idea whatsoever but just guesses.  We're talking random, wild guess rather than anything remotely educated.

Hubbies - we've been having a few problems which I won't go into but they're not related to general day-to-day stuff really.  And hopefully are being resolved.  He's quite good on the domestic front but does tend to forget certain things.  Kit has karate Monday and Friday every week, finishing at 6:15 on Monday and 6:00 on Friday.  Every week on Mondays and Fridays I get a text asking me to pick hubby up from a train that gets in while Kit is still at karate - why can he not just remember what time the classes finish??  And it occasionally winds me up that on a Wednesday, which is when I do my midweek longer run and the only night he has to cook, he never starts the dinner until after I get back even though he knows what time that will be, so we end up eating really late.  But hey, in the scheme of things I guess these are minor irritations.

And I agree - problems are problems no matter how small.  If they upset us and affect our happiness and wellbeing they are not trivial and shouldn't be dismissed.

Mums Running Club

Posted: 05/03/2015 at 11:15

where you're coming from.  It's not easy. Big hugs Xx

Mums Running Club

Posted: 05/03/2015 at 11:12

Pip, do Abingdon!  Brookie and I are doing it so far; maybe others will also sign up?

Thanks for the thoughts about the Grand Union Canal.  Pretty much my own thoughts to be honest.  As it would be relatively easy to pace I do worry that I would get fixated on the time rather than just doing it (which is more what I want out of the first one) and although it starts early (from Paddington) by the time runners and walkers have got a reasonable way along the canal it could well be busy.  I think the entry limit is 2,000 as well - runners and walkers.  There are also several different distance options: the full distance is 100K from London to Bletchley, but there are 25K options starting in London or Watford, and even the 50K has two options (London to Watford or Watford to Bletchley) so I do worry it will be really busy.  But maybe that's good for a first ultra?  Lots of company, really good support, fully signed route and well-stocked checkpoints.  I think the main 'wobble' for me though is that because there are so many different distance options, and different start and finish points, the achievement will somehow be 'lost' because the point I finish is only the midway point for those doing the full 100K, and the starting point for those doing the second 50K option (or one of the 25K options).  I kind of want everyone to start and finish in the same place - does that make sense?  So for that reason I'm more drawn to the Chiltern Challenge even though I know it would be much harder!

And don't worry about how much training you've done compared with other people - it's what works for you that matters.  I ran my marathon PB off a maximum of 39 miles per week over 4 days (and only reached that on 4 of the scheduled weeks when the training 'peaked').  The next time I got really caught up in the weekly mileage that other people did and thought that had to be the way forward.  So when I did London in 2013 I ramped up to 50-55 miles a week over 5 days - but although I didn't get injured I just wore myself out.  Even during the taper my energy levels didn't return and my immune system was obviously low because I picked up a couple of coughs and colds during training and then a virus on the day of the race which forced me to pull out halfway.  So more isn't always better.  My plan has 4x 20 milers, 4x 18 milers, and 4x 16 milers over the 17 weeks, with a couple of 14s at the start and finish of the schedule.  That is plenty for me although wouldn't be nearly enough for others.  My midweek run is 8-10 miles (basically half the distance of the longest run that week) and I do two 5 milers in the week as well. 4 runs per week. I have done well on this sort of schedule in the past so I know it works for me.  I do tend to tweak it a bit each time but the principles are the same.

I'm really impressed you're doing Comrades next year.  Is it an 'up' year or a 'down' year? Is it really expensive?  It is something I've always hankered after doing but the logistics have always seemed offputting.

Camlo, I don't know how you're holding it together at the moment AND training for IM.  Can quite understand how you lacked motivation to get out yesterday.  Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up for missing the odd session.  MY buddy who did IM last year also said savoury snacks go down much better than sweet ones - especially on the bike and in the latter stages of the race.

Hoggle, hope the new stricter approach works!  Nothing worse than stressful bedtimes.  Not that we have ever had any problems getting Kit to go to bed - he does tend to try to string it out a bit these days though!  Nurofen, sorry that things are 'flat'.  We are currently working through some issues so kno

Mums Running Club

Posted: 04/03/2015 at 15:43

That's a good idea, Caro.  My good thing for today would have to be the response from my department at work to my request to sponsor Kit for 'The Big Workout' activity his school is doing on Friday to raise money for the NSPCC.  The children can earn different levels of badge (bronze, silver or gold) for the number of sponsors they get (not the amount of sponsorship) and for gold 25 sponsors are needed.  As we only have a small family and I can't ask parent friends because it's a whole-school event and their children are participating, I brought the form to work and asked if anyone would sponsor him.  The whole department has risen to the request and we now have the required 25 sponsors, some of whom have also been quite generous with their sponsorship.  I'm really touched, especially as not many of them have even met Kit.  I will get him to write a nice thank-you card which I can bring in.

I'm also liking your quotes thing - I always mean to write down things like that but I never do!  Maybe I should start.  It's great that you're getting involved with things like the 'Macmillan Cancer Voice' too, and yes, lucky that you have been able to find the right support - although much of that is down to your seeking it out rather than it being made instantly available to you on a plate.

I've been watching that programme about the NHS and the tough choices they have to make over funding.  They show you how much a person's treatment would cost and then tell you all the other things that could be done with that money.  It makes you realise how tough it is determining who is most deserving of certain treatments and what should be available on the NHS as opposed to having to be paid for privately.  Not always comfortable viewing.

Lotte, thanks for the vote of confidence - you too, Nurofen!  I'm not too worried that the 20-milers haven't been as good as I'd hoped as it was mostly down to circumstances rather than anything else - and I've done some cracking 16s and 18s.  Is 8 weeks really enough time to recover from a marathon and undertake an ultra?  I guess it is - and it's only a mini-ultra at 50K which in reality is only 5 miles further than a marathon.  My only doubt is it's all along the Grand Union Canal towpath, which although flat, may be tedious after a while?  Alternatively there's the Chiltern Challenge in early July - that's more of a 'proper' ultra (same distance but all trails, and a lot of hills!) and I wouldn't have to get sponsorship for that one I don't think ... I'm so indecisive over this!  I really want to do one, it's just which one and when!

Mums Running Club

Posted: 04/03/2015 at 12:11

regard to the fact I might have run 20 miles the preceding day and makes us work really hard!  At least now I've entered Abingdon I feel I have a 'Get Out of Jail' card if it all goes tits-up at London ...

Am in awe of the Iron ladies and all the training.  Not something I have any desire whatsoever to do.  My swimming isn't good enough for even a sprint distance triathlon and I don't own a bike so the odds are pretty stacked against it anyway!

Decided to sneak back on here and just join back in rather than announce my return - I have been reading regularly but always fail to post so I am trying to make the effort ...

Mums Running Club

Posted: 04/03/2015 at 12:09

VIxo - I'm trying to decide whether to do my first ultra as well.  There are a number of events run by Action Challenge (I think they run the IOW event you're thinking of?) but the only one that's really feasible for me in terms of timing is the Grand Union Canal one on 27 June.  I just can't decide if I'll be up for continuing to do long runs straight after London or will be physically capable of running 31 miles that soon.  I'll certainly need a week off after the marathon, then we're thinking of going away for the half term week this year, so that'll be two weeks of doing essentially nothing.  Which leaves me 6 or 7 weeks to train.  Just not sure ... And have just entered Abingdon in October too.

Lotte, your life sounds as crazy as always!  Sometimes I wonder how we fit everything in with Kit's activities (he does karate Monday and Friday, Beavers Wednesday and swimming Saturday), hubby's rowing (Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday) and my running.  Especially as we only have one car and both hubby and I work in London and have an hour plus to commute each way.  I'm off on Tuesdays though, so I always do a run then, and try to do my Friday run while Kit's at karate which for me is otherwise dead time.  I can do my long runs earlier on Sundays now that the mornings are getting lighter, which impacts less on the rest of the day.  I do find it all quite tiring though - more so in some ways than when Kit was a baby as there wasn't all the constant rushing around back then!

Nurofen - total respect.  Loved your race report; it sounded an amazing experience (mud notwithstanding!)  and well done you for finishing within the cut-off! 

Caro, am not remotely hippyish but have been intrigued by your new 'mindful' approach.  Have started asking Kit about things that have made him happy and things he's grateful for and it's actually quite nice to do.  I need to work on myself though!  Someone gave me one of those gift book things a few Christmases ago, where you're supposed to write down things that make you happy and give you pleasure.  I found it in a drawer the other day and it saddened me that I could think of very few things to write in it!  I think I would greatly benefit from being calmer, more chilled out, and to 'live in the moment' more - I often feel as though I live from weekend to weekend and never stop to reflect on the days in between, when even something as banal as seeing the sun after a string of dull days might be something that raises my spirits.  Being more positive in general would be good too; I do tend to be something of a 'glass half empty' person much of the time.

Marathon training is going well, although I am yet to have a 'good' 20-miler.  The first one was done in a howling gale and such a challenging route I ended up changing the last section to a flat road and getting hubby to come and pick me up when I reached 20 miles.  I overcooked the first half (hilly and into 25 mph headwind) and had little in the tank towards the end although I was pleasantly surprised when I checked my splits afterwards.  The second 20-miler was going great until I was scuppered by flooding right across the foot of the bridge my route had me crossing.  Trying to work out an alternative route, then calculate how much to add on/take off to compensate left me getting cold, frustrated and stiff and although I finished the run I totally lost momentum and kept stopping in the last four miles.  So I feel I need a good 20 miler to boost my confidence!  Right piriformis has been a bit twangy so had a chiro session on Monday.  Tuesday morning's run was hard - which it always is as I have a swim class on Monday evenings.  This is always challenging, especially as the teacher pays no

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