You really couldn't make this up:
"For Jim Plows, in Clacton, Essex, the news of Brexit this morning triggered “panic stations”.
Despite voting to leave Europe, the 77-year-old said he was surprised by the news. His wife, Pam, said her first thoughts as the results came in was: “Oh dear.”
The retired couple from Jaywick, in Essex, were among several visitors to Clacton pier to say they were concerned about the process for Britain leaving the EU.
“The next year will be a worry,” said Jim Plows."
WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN YOU UTTER FECKWITS??!!!
I can only assume that we're nearing the end of consciousness as we know it, approaching a wormhole where logic itself becomes slowly disentangled. In the parallel universe we're perilously overlapping, the biggest selling daily newspaper is the Daily Mash, which is clearly the source of this news snippet.