Posted: 14/10/2015 at 15:30
Hello Lincoln Runner Purple Green Imp - impressive name change!
I have so so much to update on really; since I last checked in I've got married, been in the psychiatric ward; fallen apart an impressive number of times and got so poorly the Mrs had to become my carer (rubbish)
However, I have the most wonderful Psychiatrist I've ever met; she is warm and funny and caring and not at all officious - she doesn't ask probing questions if she doesn't need to .... plus she has very nice eyes
Have just come out of a mega relapse after some time in Respite and am starting to feel more positive, although motivation is weirdly lacking.
We are trying to make me better from the inside out as I have so many somatic symptoms too. I've ditched anything chemically including diet coke and hot chocolate. We are only eating things that our grannies grannies would have identified as food rather than 'food like substances.' Really hoping it will help as sport has suffered massively since January (I've run half a dozen times and only kept up with rowing - haven't done crossfit which I love, or climbing which I also loved at all) Time to let the positivity shine through - if I can.
I'm hoping not putting crap fuel in will help me to regain some energy and enthusiasm although I am also aware that it might be a silly rescue me fad or that the cocktail of meds I'm on might interfere with cutting out the chemicals (not going to stop taking the meds!)
Ive been doped up on Diazepam and Lorazepam for most of the last three months in addition to the other meds. Now just taking Agomelatine and Venlafaxine (plus asthma meds) the Venlafaxine gives me horrific tremors which gets in the way of Chemistry experiments, writing, putting on make up - well everything requiring fine motor skills really but it is totally worth it. Diagnosis is officially Complex Post Traumatic Stress, Dissociatve Disorder, Severe Depression. (No OCD as I've kicked that little f*ckers butt!!!!)
Lots of issues with school this year but I'll save all that stuff for another post if anyone is out there listening!
Much love xx