Posted: Yesterday at 11:11
I managed a lie in until 5:30 this morning which I'm pleased about, especially as I went to bed really early too.
I've been doing a lot of thinking this morning. Last time I was in a bad place was 10 years ago, almost to the day. I've been thinking about what I did last time to help myself and how I can apply that to this situation.
It was 10 years ago in April that SuperCaz came into existence after several months of struggling to understand where my life was going wrong. I started off by looking at myself objectively and wondering how others saw me, and what I would think if one of my friends behaved as I did. Identifying the flaws was painful, but it helped me to focus on what the real obstacles were to being happy, rather than blaming it all on everyone else, or fate.
The next stage was to identify what changes I could make to my life, my thinking and my actions. I focused on who I wanted to be and gave her a name 'SuperCaz' - a fictional person who I could play around with in my head and work out what it was about her that I admired and respected. SuperCaz was confident, popular, respected, good at what she did and she could achieve whatever she put her mind to. She made life look easy.
I've made some huge progress towards being the person I want to be, but recent circumstances have allowed me to take my eye off the ball. So as of today SuperCaz Mk II is being launched. Last time I suffered on my own, but this time I have a huge support network that I can draw on and I want it all to be out in the open just on the off chance that something I do triggers ideas that are beneficial to others.