Posted: 28/04/2015 at 10:51
That's lovely, Birch. Must have been great to have your kids out supporting you. Stunning progress from Race Jase and Jools over the past few years. MsE being underwhelmed by her sub 3: What a crackpot.
I think I had almost stopped moaning about the Expo by the time Sunday rolled around. The journey, the DLR, the horrific 'Ideal Home Exhibition' setting, the over-enthusiastic sales people and their endless guff about running.... Still, they did give me a free carrier bag full of leaflets, so that's alright then. Anyway, as I said, I stopped moaning about all that ages ago.
The start line was great. A friend had bought me a disposable poncho. I'd always wanted to wear one of those at the start of a race, but had dismissed the notion as being one lofty ambition too far. I felt ace, standing at the start in my pinkish poncho, looking like a runner. Looking like I knew what I was doing.
Sadly, that feeling didn't last. Somebody must have said '3,2,1, go,' as everyone started moving forwards. And then we had to go and do a load of boring running stuff.
Actually, it was quite good fun for a while. I phoned my young niece from Tower Bridge. I thought she might like to hear that wall of noise, but she didn't even pretend to be interested. She was much more impressed when I showed her my medal. "Course I won the race. How do ya think I got this?"
Eventually, it all became a bit of a nuisance, quite frankly. The last three or four miles were particularly annoying. I was desperate to stop but somehow managed to avoid doing so. Which, I think you'll agree, makes me a bit of a tough guy hard nut.
I crossed the line and felt decidedly wrong. I wasn't sure which would happen first: the instantaneous bowel release, the throwing up or the passing out. While I was wondering which option I'd prefer, I bumped into a bloke with a bowl of fruit on his head. Annoyingly, he looked as though he'd just been for a stroll in the park.
It was great to see you, Poacher. I couldn't make it to Chandos, as my friends had arranged to meet in a pub on the other side of the park. In any case, I don't really deserve to mix with the folk on this thread. In fact, I'm not fit to lace your drinks.
3:53 might sound dreadful. Well let's not be coy, it is rather dreadful. But it was only about a 5 minute positive split. So at least it was uniformly dreadful from start to finish. It seems a five week training schedule doesn't really work. Who knew?