Posted: 04/08/2014 at 17:35
Sympathies for everyone with stroppy children. Isabelle's behaviour has got a lot better recently, but we've now started getting some back-chatting and rudeness at times, which I actually find harder, and more upsetting, than tantrums. We're working on the "that is never acceptable" phrase, which is repeated when teenage type comments come out of her mouth! E, who is now 3, has started some tantrums but at the moment they're more amusing than anything else. She wanted more cake the other day, and sat at the table screaming "I NEED more cake". Since that was so patently untrue we all laughed at her and she calmed down. In general she's fairly easy to manage, but I think she's going to be our trickiest teenager - huge long eyelashes, winning smiles and a habit of getting what she wants from people - I fear she going to leave a trail of weeping boys behind her!!
I have got the same book Camlo recommended- how to talk so your kids will listen, and listen so your kids will talk. I got it a couple of years ago and I remember thinking Isabelle was too young at that stage, but I do keep meaning to revisit it. The bit I remember clearly, and which I do try and pay attention to, said that as adults we do a lot of telling children that what they think or feel, is wrong. So, they say "I hate freddy", and we immediately say "no, no, of course you dont", whereas a more helpful response would be something like "oh, that's a shame, why?". The book is quite good at making you think about how the way you talk to your children makes them feel, and I realise that sometimes all that come out of my mouth is a string of commands and criticisms, and that if someone spoke to me like that, I wouldn't be particularly compliant!
Pip - I hadnt realised you also did triathlons. When did you do your ironman races? I used to love triathlons but I was always more of a swimmer and cyclist, and the running was just something I did as a necessary evil as it came at the end of races, but now I pretty much only run as it's the most time effective of the three! My husband is now the keen cyclist, but I hope that when the children are bigger ill get back into it. There are quite a few good races down here so plenty to choose from - once I do some training !
Right, I can hear the crew returning from their 'night time walk' so my 10 minutes of peace is over!