Go on ask me how Im doing in my new, saintly lifestyle. Fine Im doing just great. Not a drop of alcohol has passed my lips in three months, nor a single cup of coffee or tea. No harmless creature has laid down its life to feed me (apart from a
for Titanic II.So this year, I had a radical rethink If I lacked the willpower to achieve even the most modest of resolutions, perhaps I should set myself a completely impossible goal instead. And so it was that I decided to give up everything. For six months.Alcohol
for myself, but for the entire region. Were I to topple or roll accidentally into the river, for instance, it could cause serious flooding in low-lying areas of the Thames Valley. And so I shall be renouncing alcohol again, immediately after the Viennese
’t broken a sweat since their last council tax demand simultaneously challenged each other to run from Greenwich to Westminster.What in God’s name can have possessed them? Artificial bravado, of course, induced by mild alcoholic poisoning. That
’s friend, Ken. I’d subdued my stomach with four Rennies, but I knew it was a temporary measure at best.A tune resonated stupidly around my head on an endless loop. A mild case of alcoholic poisoning will often produce Bryan Hyland’s Sealed With A Kiss
, it might have been a scene from an avant-garde ballet in which Barbie searches for Ken, now a psychotic Vietnam War veteran in the final stages of alcoholic dissolution. The elegant hotels of Santa Monica gave way to the bars and psychedelic facades
